Sleeping with my ex - husband?

Okay so I know the obvious reply to this post will be stop sex with the ex. Duh I know this.. but my question is a few things for guys mostly or girls with advice on similar situation. We've been divorced for a year. 3 months after divorce we started talking again and then we slept together. I thought it was a Un - oh won't happen again but then it did several more times over a couple of months. Then we had a difference of opinion and we went NC for a while. Slowly we started talking to each other again and after a short while of this we had sex again. We talked about it briefly, only to say if either of us was seeing someone else (sleeping with someone else) then we should not be having sex. His response was a nervous laugh and a "no chance of that".. I broke up with a guy about a month before this so I knew I wasn't with anyone else. Well since this time we've been having sex since and it's becoming more regular. . Each time I think it will be the last and that it's a mistake but then it happens again. Guys any thoughts on this? Can it just be sex or does he want more?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in this same situation with my ex, who initiated the divorce? The nice thing for us was its like putting on a old hat, it fits right and you know what you're going to get. If it's just sex for you let him know so there is no false hope to rekindle a relationship. If you want to to work things out let him know how you feel. If you two are hooking up just for sex and on the same page great ! But being open and honest with each other is the best policy.

    • Hmm normally I would advocate for honesty being the best policy, but I can say I'm open to the possibility of working it out however I don't want to say that out loud to him. I figured that sleeping with him sort of shows this. I'm afraid that if I said that and it's "just sex" for him he'd be scared off.. I think that guys can do the "just sex" without it meaning anything emotional, but I'm not sure if that's what this is or if that's possible given our history. Married for 13 years, separated last 2.. officially divorced for 1... men's thoughts? Is just sex possible, if that's all he needs wouldn't he go elsewhere where no history?

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    • :) that's funny. We're you still sleeping with the ex and other women? I am pretty sure he did that first year we were separated, but I guess I figured it wasn't that complicated. .. If he wanted just sex he could find it anywhere (seriously easier for guys to hook up than women! ) but why go back to me after so much time has passed? Has his well run dry and I'm available. lol. is it always just sex for guys?

    • I won't say that it's always about sex.. just 90% of the time. Yeah I was messing with about 6 or 7 different girls. But I was all backed up and had to get it out of my system. We started dating at 16 years old so I never got the chance to be a crazy cooter when I was young. And it is so not easier for a guy to get laid. If you tell a guy at a bar let's go have sex.. the guy won't be able to slam his beer, pay his tab and get out the door fast enough. I've lost a lot of coats that way ! Lol. If I were to say that to a girl, I would get kicked in the balls. Guys have to run game to lock it in. And there are a series of test I put a girl through ( she don't know I'm doing them ) before I can get her to leave the bar with me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Im One Hundred Percent Sure Thats What He Wants From You, Is Sex. Im Gonna Go Out On A Limb & Say Thats ALL He Wants Anyway, Now If This Doesn't Bother You, Go For It, Continue Doing It. The Reason Its Keeps Happening Is One, Deep Down You Dont Want It To Stop & Two, You Made That Decision With Your Heart & Not Your Head, If You REALLY Want It To Stop Then Set Your Emotions Aside & Stand Firm On The Decision. iHave A Feeling He Might Be Seeing Somebody Also But More Than Likely Unofficially. Stay Positive & Stay Strong...

    • Okay totally see your point. Two questions for your insight...1) why would he responded in this way; me: "I have no expectations here other than sex but my stipulation is if you are sleeping with someone else.." him without hesitation and slightly embarrassed "there's no chance of that." Me continuing, "or if I am with someone else then we can't do this". Him, "are you seeing someone else now?" Me "no broke up a little while ago. " him "great". early next morning he send me a weird text trying to find information about last boyfriend... which he's never been curious about before. He asked if other people knew I was seeing someone and I brushed it off and replied in reference to him and just said no i didn't tell anyone I saw you last night. I knew that wasn't what he ment but I chose not to get into it especially on text. He came back with another text that implied that wasn't what he ment etc.. it was just a different response from him than I've been used to..

    • 2nd questions is about if he's seeing/sleeping with someone else.. how could I tell? Are there signs, ways to figure it out... I'm not trying to be possessive but careful.. I would stop if he wants to sleep around. Although I'm okay with a casual sex relationship I'm also not into sharing the same d*** I find that despicable and gross. Stick it where you want but don't then stick it in me... I'm a one man whore thank you!

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