Can exes be friends?

So me and this guy started seeing each other in late April-May and we were just really interested friends and then became official in June. We were intimate and spent a lot of time together. But every thing seemed so great. And then mid July he broke up with me. He said that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Like me. And I told him I wouldn't be in this if I weren't and we talked about it for days and ultimately he said it was over. This was really hard on me cause I really started to like him in that short time. And so we decided to stay friends. He told me he didn't want to hurt me later down the road, cause he thought we might not work out. Anyways a couple of weeks went by and I saw him at the coffee shop and we sat and talked for a bit but it wasn't all that special. And we talked again a week ago just about life. And then I waited another week to actually hang out with him as friends. I really don't want to loose him completely. Am I doing something wrong by trying to reach out be his friend? I texted him and he never got back to me. I know he saw it but why? Why is he ignoring me when he told me he wanted to be friends and "didn't want to hurt me."


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like a player, though hard to gauge without actually knowing the person. Most guys from what I've seen lately, say they want a relationship, go into it head first but then do a 180, once they start to see the drift of sex accomplanied by clinginess and a lot of interaction. For some guys encrouching upon their personal space, and I say this to gamers as well, interrupting their "Game Time" is almost as serious as killing their dog or cat. So depending on the characteristics of some guys you have to look at it as if you are going to fast for them, not going fast enough, or they have a very needy when I am needy personality.

    Again can't gauge since I don't know the guy, but I can give you a few ideas on how to determine whether or not this was a casual encounter that was in the works since the first date, or if its just him trying to get some time to think.

    Best way, if he is actively ignoring you, not a good sign, means he never really cared and doesn't want anything to do with you until the day his urges come back into play in which case he will suddenly surface with a fantastic or wonderful story, and try to get back into the sack, eh don't fall for this one, just let it go.
    If he gets in touch with you but doesn't talk long, just a few scattered notes, some basic responses, more than likely he is just doing his own thing trying to decompress, some guys do this after sex, one reason most guys don't lounge in bed and cuddle, because after sex they need space, a lot for some reason.
    Talks to you, but mostly text messages and seems distant, he's just getting some time to himself to think, best kind of thing to do is keep the interest going but don't over do it or you may push him back a level on this chart.
    Lastly, sex is a major corrupting agent in early relationships, kissing and hugging are great starts but once it escelates to sex within a couple dates, its like setting off a dating bomb fiasco. Just saying.
    The Guy Exposer

    • From your chart, he would be the last one, talks to me but is distant. But this time he just didn't text back. Should I give it more time before we talk again?

      Yeah, I kinda wish we held off on the intimacy till later. :/ we both waited like a month till we did but I still feel like we should have waited longer. But we both really wanted it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He sounds like a player. My ex broke up with me 5 months ago and I've lost feelings for him. He wanted to be friends with me but I cut him off because I don't believe in being friends with an ex. I believe that an ex is an ex for a reason. And then what if you grow attached to them again then what. I personally would just keep to myself and don't try to be friends with an ex. You will just get hurt in the end. My ex and I don't talk or make any eye contact whatsoever


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Exes Can Be Friends But Over Time When Emotions Have Settled, If He Is Ignoring Then iSuggest Leaving Him Alone, You Can't Force A Friendship So Dont Try, Stay Positive & Stay Strong...


What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, exes can end up as friends. That's what happened to me and my ex of 6 years. But we only texted or contact each other one or twice a month just to know what we're up to. He and I both have someone else now, but we're cool.

  • No. From all my life experiences, exes can NOT be friends.

    Either enemies, strangers, or friends with benefits. You choose.


Recommended myTakes