Anyone who has divorced, and been the one to initiate it?

I'm seriously thinking about filing for divorce, and want to know that what I'm feeling is along the same lines as any of you who have done the same thing?
I just don't feel like I'm supported in the various things I do for work. I'm very artistic, and I have jobs in a few fields that are art-related. My husband is of the mindset that a person should settle on one job, and do that. It should be noted that he works in a job where he can determine when he works-sort of an independent contractor. He sometimes tries to say I can't do something (even if I'm being paid for it) if it interferes at all with the time he envisions leaving for work by even a few minutes. Am I wrong, or does that not seem fair?
Also, he loooves his job. So much so, that he oftentimes comes home and starts to word vomit on me about the exciting things that happened, and it sometimes drags on for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I know that allowing a spouse to 'come down' from work is a good thing to do, I just never feel the same excitement towards me. Case in point, I had to ask to be taken out the last time we went on a date.
I just overall don't feel like we're growing together in marriage the way that it seems people who have been married years and years have done. Was it the same for any of you?
Update: I'm getting divorced and already feel so free. A weight has definitely been lifted, thanks for your help everyone :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I understand how you feel. Although I never got mad about her work. If a project took extra time I never told her that she can't do it. Work is work. We have to do what we have to do.
    We always made sure that we went out for dinner at least once on the weekends & a vacation at least 3 times a year.
    Sometimes we take each other for granted & we do grow apart.
    I was left a Dear John note. She was "tired & bored" She could have spoken up. I didn't even know this. I would have been willing to work on some of her feelings. Apparently she didn't want that. I worked a lot BUT that's how she got to live in the house she did & drive the kind of car that she did.

    • I understand, and I do appreciate the work he does, but not when it, or other activities become the more exciting thing. And I have told him these things, several times over the number of years we've been married, in fact. He's very much a 'don't fix it unless it's urgent' guy, and I have talked about separating... still nothing really changes. I guess it's not urgent until I'm out the door, but by then it's too late.

    • I'm sorry for what you went through :( it's not a fun feeling to be forgotten

    • You do have a point. You have talked to him about it & nothing has changed. It seems like you can leave with a clear conscious. You have even mentioned separating which apparently fell on deaf ears.
      As hard as this may be for you it's easier on the person taking the action. It may sound silly but you have the chance to plan your course of action & your future. Good luck.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Never Been Divorced But If Your Not Happy In The Relationship Then It's Best To Walk Away Especially After You've Used Every Option You Can Possibly Think Of...


What Girls Said 1

  • I am divorced and I did initiate it. Mine was not a good provider and communication was lacking. I don't understand what your issue is though. Is it lack of time spent together or more?


Recommended myTakes