The love of my life broke up with me. How do I move on?

I know I sound pathetic, but I loved a man very much. He broke up with me for basically no reason. We had been together for a long time, and were so happy. Then out of no where, we had one disagreement and he broke up with me. Why would he do that?

I am so devastated. I don't want to be that crazy obsessive ex girlfriend who can't get over a relationship. But I was so in love with him. He expressed feelings of wanting a future with me, and I thought we were perfect for each other. But he hasn't expressed any interest in getting back with me. I've tried talking to him, tried to find out what went wrong. He just said he needs to be alone and the relationship needs to end. Why would he feel this way? Why would he do this?

I am just lost and confused. Day after day, I am alone. I have some old friends, but we've lost touch and they all have their lives now. He was literally all I had, and he was my best friend. I've never cried so much, I feel so hopeless.

Please... what do I do to move on? It's hurts so much. Thank you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing at all pathetic about anything you just said. You are not pathetic; you're understandably sad.

    I'm afraid, not knowing the guy, I can't say with any certainty why he broke up with you. Trying to understand why he broke up with you might be a futile exercise, even if you deserve an answer. You might never get one.

    The person who invents a pill that will make people instantly get over a relationship will be a multibillionaire in a day. I believe, NanaSakura, that time and distance is the greatest healer. I know the pain feels bigger than you right now, but day by day it will get smaller until eventually you will be bigger than the pain. Do your best to keep yourself occupied. I think exercise is a good thing. You can take up hobbies. You can try to contact your old friends. Of course they have lives of their own, but that doesn't mean their lives have to exclude you. You might find they'll be very glad to hear from you. You can also try to make new friends.

    Now, you said something that was rather striking to me. You said, "He was literally all I had..." I think that there are two possibilities here. He SEEMS like he was all you had, or perhaps he really was all you had. If it only SEEMED that way, then in time you'll realize you have many things in your life. By the way, when my wife passed away I felt EXACTLY the same way. I found I was wrong. It only seemed that way. However, if he was all you had, then perhaps in future relationships you'll make sure that your boyfriend or husband does not become all you have. Cultivate friendships and interests aside from your lover. That's a project you can start today.

    When my wife died, I too felt hopeless, lost, and I almost felt like a ghost myself, drifting around life like some invisible observer. I found that what George Burns (he was a famous comedian who lived to be a hundred) said about his beloved wife, Gracie, was true. "You cry and cry and cry until you stop."

    Message me if you like.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, He Broke Up With You Because He Either Just Wanna Be Single & Test The Waters Or Another Girl Caught His Eye & Wants To See Where Things Go With Her, Dont Beg For Him Back, That Never Works & If It Does It's Out Of Pity, Find A Hobby That Will Occupy Your Mind On Other Things, Not Only That It Will Take Time, It Will Also Take Time, For You It May Take A Lot Of Time, You Will Start To Feel Better, Stay Strong & Stay Positive...

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  • Get drunk, blast shitty music, have a crappy rebound, put too much effort into your school/work, get a makeover, than get on with your life (not exactly in that order.)

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  • If he left after 1 disagreement, no matter how serious, he was either being selfish or there was something else you didn't notice. Either way you never got any closure. He left you high and dry. I know how much this kind of thing hurts. You just have to remember that the world didn't end. You still have a life to live. And while that remains true, there will always be a chance at happiness. You just have to find the strength inside yourself to make it through the pain. The storms cannot go on forever. Stay strong and stay hopeful. You can find happiness again some day.

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  • This is so sad but you will find someone. Give it time learn to love yourself again be happy in your life. Yes I agree with randomdude there was something else going on , he just used the fight as a way out. You can enjoy a hobby or sport that you liked before you met him. It's been a long time but think back what made you happy before? Perhaps joining a dance class , cooking class any place where you can meet people with similar interests if all your friends are busy. Many people at those classes will be looking to expand their social circle too. Travel you could go on an adventure with a tour group join a group that has others or at least one other woman similar age group. So many things you can do , try some new things. There are many people everywhere worldwide that you could meet. The pain will heal in time , it will really !!! Hope you're doing ok.

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  • What was the argument?

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What Girls Said 1

  • You don't sound pathetic. Its normal to feel distraught after a sudden breakup. The fact that you want to move on shows maturity and rationality.

    Unfortunately, its going to take time. You may be feeling like this for weeks or months. But still, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Distract yourself - spend time with friends, concentrate on school or work, and immerse yourself in hobbies.

    I'm not sure why he feels how he does, but it seems like all you can do is cut contact with him and concentrate on yourself.

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