Is my ex playing games or is he just a selfish asshole?

My ex broke up with me in June very coldly. He almost immediately started emailing me to say hello, signing off with xoxo , and wanted to hang out! I took the bait, I was curious. We made plans to hang out and he kept saying he was looking forward to seeing me. We had dinner and then I asked him if he wanted to come to my place for a drink- he said yes. After two hours he said he had to leave so I suggested he stay overnight. He said "I don't think that's a good idea". I asked him why he had been coming on so strong only to reject me again? His response was - "well, I think you are super cool and awesome, and I care about you deeply, but I didn't see a future there so it was silly to prolong it. I figured we were friends before so we can go back to being friends now". Is it just me or is what he did very selfish and insensitive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems like maybe he's playing some games, but another part of me thinks he's trying a little too hard to be friends again. It could even be both. I guess it depends on how long you were dating and how long he'd felt that way (that there wasn't a future with you).

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    • We went out for six months but were friends for 8 years prior. He is a full time artist and lives hand to mouth so I understand him feeling that there was no future. I just think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I told him I wanted to cut off all contact, that he was being inconsiderate of my feelings, and he got upset, wanting to know why? Omg, is he clueless? Maybe he's confused as to what he wants also...

Most Helpful Girl

  • he is playing games i wouldn't bring that negative energy back into your life there are some people who just don't deserve to be in other peoples life because all they do is bring them down play with a person once but twice no u would be better off keeping him out of your life for good u deserve to be happy and not dealing with drama or people bringing you down he's selfish and insensitive and jealous he may not be jealous now but wait til you find someone who makes you happy and supports you in everything u choose to do with your life

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    • I think a lot of this was fueled by jealousy but I also think he is confused about what he wants. Still, the fact that he didn't take my feelings into consideration, lead me on and then reject me a second time, is inexcusable. He shouldn't have come to my apartment for a drink. I almost feel like he did this on purpose.

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    • Thanks sweetie, you're a doll! He's history - I already told him that we need to sever all contact and that I have an opportunity to "move on" that I am going to pursue now that I know he has no intention of getting back together. He actually got upset and asked me how long did I want our "break" to be - I said forever- lol!

    • your welcome im so happy you told him forever u really do deserve to be happy and ik good things are coming your way your smart enough to walk away from that guy u are smart in general im so happy for you because now u can do what makes u happy and focus on that :) have a good day girly

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What Guys Said 2

  • Your ex seems to like mind games, he don't know what he wants
    one time he is treating you as a friend than next time he seems to
    want more than friendship. He already broke your heart enough
    i had female friends who wanted be friends but yet they wanted
    to flirt with me and act romantic than at the same time they have
    a boyfriend / a few had a husband and crushed on me it's like?

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    • I think he didn't break up with me because he lost feeling for me, it was due to extreme lifestyle differences that would have never worked out, so he's having a hard time disconnecting because of that. I told him I wanted to sever all contact and that I have an opportunity to move on that I put on hold, but that now I was going to pursue it. Ha! Twist the knife a little deeper, I didn't care...

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    • Yes but I'll get over him, he's s douche. Thanks for the advice!:):)

    • You're Welcome;) xD

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, If You Dont Like The Way He Broke Up With You Then Stop Taking The Bait & Back Off, Your Emotions Are High Anyway So You Should Cut All Contact & Allow Your Feelings Get Under Control, You Can Be His Friend Later In Life...

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