My boyfriend and I broke up because he was arrested for domestic violence and I got drunk and slept with someone else. but I love him & want him back? (Page 2)
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Lmao you are so pathetic it's unreal. All the other woman beaters at least need to lie and beg forgiveness promising never to do it again and beg saying he's sorry and wants her back, then she foolishly listens to him and he does it again.
Your life is so sad, you are the one chasing him. lol 😂 you're so funny. Well, when he beats you again, it really is actually your own fault, nobody told you to chase a woman beater. I really hope your family and friends won't give you any sympathy when he beats you up and you end up in hospital. You actually chased a woman beater, he didn't even have to come and beg forgiveness like all the rest hahahahaha. Hilarious.
I know the asker seems like a complete dimwit, but what you said here was uncalled for and extremely cruel...
How many women a week are killed by an abusive partner, or an ex partner they actually managed to leave, then this moron is chasing them. Other girls run away and get killed, this one runs towards it. Good for her.
So that makes it okay to insult and wish pain on someone? Disregarding the wrongness of her situation and how illogical she apprears to be, she's going through stress and emotional pain right now and you're laughing at her and crossing your fingers that she ends up in the ER. That's not cool.
Obviously it's not funny, just sarcasm. But I truly don't have any sympathy for her when he beats her properly. She'll see how great he is and what a catch she has then. Darwin award n all that...
yah you really need to shut the fuck up. he punched and choked me while i was driving my car and i didn't even call the cops on him, the pedestrians who saw it happened called the cops. i am a forgiving person and he's never done anything like this to me before call me stupid but i love this man and your attitude isn't welcome or appreciated.
Not only did he beat you, he did it while you were driving, which could of caused a crash and innocent people could of got hurt. All these stupid women, and other people have to suffer for their stupid choices.
I don't really care what he did to you, you want him back so badly, so obviously it's ok, so why should I care.
You can't complain he hurt you then bitch about he wouldn't call you back. If you want him back, Ihave zero sympathy. When he beats you again, you can't complain, because he already showed you he would do it and you accepted it.
Don't start complaining if you want him. You either complain and leave, or you stay like an idiot and shut up and deal with it. Don't complain unless you're doing something about it.
my point is that he is disgusted with me for sleeping with someone else, but i was getting nothing out of him when he owed me an apology and a thank you for dropping the charges. THAT is my point. was i wrong to think the relationship was completely over since thats the impression he was giving off? he was even telling people that. so why is he so furious with me for what i did. it just doesn't seem fair to me after what HE did and how i handled the situation like an adult.
Why should he be disgusted. He beat you, then ignored you for a month and told everybody you weren't together, and during that time you were meant to sit there waiting like a little dog? This guy seriously seems like a bigger ass hole than other woman beaters.
I don't know if you've got really low confidence or you think you're worth nothing or what, but I really can't think of any other reason a girl would want this guy.
In life, you get treated how you allow yourself to be treated. What message are you giving guys about how they can treat you and what you're worth?
If you really think that's all you're worth, there's really no helping you and there's no point you asking questions about all this. If you think you're worth more, walk away and instead be asking questions on getting over somebody you loved but is bad for you.
A woman beater really has the nerve to be disgusted at you for having sex while you're single lol, that's a joke, lol.
thanks for turning your attitude around and not being a total cunt anymore. its not as easy as i wish it would be. we were together for three years, lived together, never had an incident like this before.. and he truly was my BEST friend. so this incident with him assaulting me came as a huge shock and surprise to me. it's not like i had any warning signs before. he was always so sweet, caring, attentive, and really, really good to me, as i was to him. i wish i could say it was easy for me to hate him and walk away, but its not. and i dont expect anyone to understand it, because i dont understand it myself.
Haha its just how I say things, I'm always more harsh when I care more about something, and situations like yours just wind me up so much.
Honestly, nearly every girl who gets hit says the guy was amazing before that, and most of the time that's why so many girls end up staying with him.
I can totally understand people getting aggressive sometimes because my own temper is so short, but choking and punching is serious, it's not somebody getting mad and punching walls instead because they don't want to hurt the person they love.
Every girl usually says they're confused after to, because how can their caring sweet boyfriend suddenly turn into a monster, but it happens.
I would also say that none of the girls instantly hate their boyfriend and walk away, when they walk away, they are usually still in love but know they need to do it.
I do think people can make mistakes though, but if you forgive them once, never forgive them twice, especially fucked up things like he did.
It's not even just that he beat you, he's generally treating you like shit, and you're just accepting it like you think it's ok. If you think it's ok for you, trust me, you'll get treated like that regardless of what you do.
How can he really ignore you for a month, tell everybody he's single, but expect you to act like you're still with him. He's an asshole, seriously.
well my thing is i have forgiven him for what he did. i wanted to be with him all along. i even dropped the charges for him, i basically saved his life and his career. his future was in MY hands and i did what i wanted to do for him because i love him so i dropped the charges so he could be free. after that i was expecting an immediate phone call or text or SOMETHING, saying thank you, saying im sorry... but i got nothing. so finally after a few weeks i tried to contact him. i tried several times and got nothing in return. i even passed him driving a few times and was expecting him to call me, but didn't get anything till almost TWO MONTHS after. thats my issue here. if he had just texted me saying "i dont know what i want, i need time" great, fine, i would have respected that. but he handled it HORRIBLY- and still has the nerve to hate me for sleeping with someone else? everyone makes mistakes, he made a big one & i made a big one, but if i can forgive him why can't he do the same?
Because he just doesn't care, isn't sorry and is really quite selfish.
If he cared in the slightest, he would of been on his knees after saying how sorry he is. Even all the regular woman beaters do that even though they're going to hit her again next week. He didn't even care enough to do that.
I know it hurts, but you should just try and leave with the pride you have left before you lose all pride and stay forever or till he carries on treating you like that and ends up cheating or leaving because he thinks he can, since he can get away with so much other really fucked up things. At least if you walk now, you can hold your head up.
So, you want this guy who abused you back after you had him arrested and then cheated on him. Look, I get drunk every goddamn day, I have for the past five years. I've never slept with anyone. So you bitches need to quit using "I was drunk." as an excuse. I honestly can't blame the guy for not wanting you back. You seem like trouble.
True
what makes you think you know everything? i didn't have him arrested. i was driving my car and he punched me and choked me while i was driving. pedestrians who saw it happened called the cops. he fractured my jaw but yet i still dropped the charges for him. but yah you're right... I'm the one whos trouble!!!
If he's that damn bad why do you even want him back? You're crazy.
and you're an asshole :) have a nice day
Yes, I am an asshole. But I've never broken a woman's jaw before.
for you to tell me I SEEM LIKE TROUBLE is laughable. i don't even know what to say to that.
Any chick who can have a one-night stand is trouble.
sorry but its 2014 and it happens. people make mistakes especially when they drink. dont sit here and be a judgmental virgin mary. get out of here
I've gotten drunk every goddamn day for the past five years, never slept with anyone. When I was overseas at 17 I got drunk every day around over a dozen beautiful filipina girls who would have done anything I asked them to. Never fucked a single goddamn one of them. You just have no self-control. Quit blaming alcohol, you make us decent alcoholics look bad.
It might have been hard for him ro go through it. It might have emotionally damaged him. After such deep wounds, anyone would go crazy and lonely. But your one night stand on you part is completely wrong. I feel disgust when a girl cheats on he guy. I know, you both are playing the blaming game wit each other. But maybe you can trto understand why he cut off everythin with you. On the contrast maybe he was wrong, one can't say for sure. But you moved on very early, maybe seeing someone would have been ok, but sex? So soon? Nope no way. You say you love him like anything, thats a BIG LIE. A rreal girl would never do what you did. I dislike suc girls, but its your life, once a cheater is always. Cheater. I dont wanna hurt you, but take it as a scolding, and try to never do such stuff again. I wouldn't have accepted you in any way, even if it meant spenflding my life alone.
i agree two wrongs dont make a right. but can you really call what i did cheating? it obviously was a huge mistake and i regret it every day of my life and would do ANYTHING to take it back.. but was i wrong to think our relationship was done? i had tried to contact him for a month and a half and got NOTHING in return... and he was even telling people he didn't want to talk to me or try to fix things. i messed up, i will own that 100%. i wish i never did it.. but please look at all the facts here. he was arrested for PUNCHING ME and CHOKING ME while i was driving my car... and i wasn't even the one who called the cops. and then i STILL dropped the charges on him! then it took him over a month to FINALLY apologize to me.
I will never understand why some women want to get back with abusive ex-boyfriends. Don't go back to him.
"even though it's none of his business and he had NO RIGHT to ask me"
Um, wrong.
He had a right to ask you because he was under the impression y'all were still together, regardless of how shitty he was being.
You shouldn't want him back because he hit you.
He doesn't want you back because you DID taint y'all's relationship.
Move on and deal with it.
how could he assume we were still together if he wasn't answering my phone calls or texts? if it took him almost two months to finally have a conversation with me? how am i supposed to know that he assumes we're still together if he's deliberately ignoring my attempts to contact him, and not contacting me himself? all he had to do was say "i dont know what i want, i need some time" that would have changed things completely. but he failed to do that. so WHY on earth should i have been under the impression that he thought we were still together? a relationship is based off of communication, and there was none of that on his part for almost two months, despite my many attempts to contact him. it doesn't make any sense.
What stopped you from going and seeing him in person?
I tried to do that. I went to his house and he gave his mother the message that he did not want to see me. After almost two months he decided he missed me and wanted to make things work. That's when I told him the truth about what I did. I could have lied to him but wanted to start fresh and forgive each other for both our mistakes. I did everything in my power that I could possibly think of... I did everything I could.
Not taking sides or anything here, but you need to understand that what you're wanting him to forgive you for is a lot harder than what you forgave him for.
i can't understand that. i mean in a way i kind of do... me being with anyone else sexually must be killing him. but it didn't mean anything to me. i know thats not an excuse and it sounds terrible and slutty. but it truly meant nothing. and i'd do anything to take it back, i really would. i regret it every day of my life. but he could have killed me. he put my life in danger. what he did was downright dangerous. i don't know many girls who would forgive a man for what he did... let alone drop the charges and let him get away with it. it broke my heart that he didn't immediately reach out to me and thank me or apologize. we were together 3 years, had plans to get married... and for him to shut me out for almost two months and not apologize during all that time, well it left me completely broken and lost and abandoned and confused. what he did is NOT okay, and how he handled it was even worse. i don't know how you can't see that.
You're misinterpreting what I'm saying. I'm not in any way whatsoever condoning what he did. I think you're a fool for wanting him back. 30 years from now, him hitting you won't mean anything if he fixed his anger problems. However, the fact that you fucked somebody else will always be a blemish.
i agree. but i dont think its "unforgivable" (what i did). do you? we were not together! and if we were, he should have contacted me way sooner than almost two months after the fact. if i can forgive him, why can't he forgive me?
Because what he has to forgive you for is much more difficult.
I also agree that it was shitty of him to not contact you for 2 months, I really don't see why you want him back.
because i've never seen this side of him before. it's not like i can say to myself "ok this is the last straw i never want to see him again." its not that easy. he was my best friend and we did everything together, then the day he got arrested everything changed. he handled it so poorly.. i think he's letting his pride get in the way. he is very stubborn, thick headed, and has WAY too much pride to the point where it often crippled our relationship. he has a hard time ever admitting he's wrong. me on the other hand, not at all. if i'm wrong i'm wrong and i'll admit it. i could have lied to him and kept this big secret, but i was hoping we could both start fresh with a clean slate and forgive each other for our mistakes. why is that so hard for him to do?
Because forgiving someone for being with someone else sexually is a near impossible task.
i get that... but it's not like i was a virgin when we started dating. and he wasn't either. this person meant nothing to me, i don't even think about that night anymore. and when i see him i feel nothing. just like i feel nothing when i look at previous boyfriends or hook ups. it meant NOTHING. it was a foolish decision... i think he's being unreasonable and unfair.
I know you don't understand it, but regardless of what it means to you, it means A LOT to him.
i know. what can i do to fix this? i cannot move on. what if i dont want to move on. is there ANYTHING i could do?
If he's hell bent on not getting back together, there isn't much you can do. If you can win him back, the only think that will fix it is time.
he's blocked my phone number, facebook, instagram... any form of communication. he's been going out drinking every night even though he's never been much of a drinker at all. i know he's taking it really hard and is really hurt. but he always handles situations so extremely. his way of dealing with things is always by cutting people out of his life. i'm not the first person he's done it to. he said i was his best friend and that he'll never find another girl that he gets along with the way we do. he said he had plans to marry me. i think i could win him back. i just dont know how to if i have no way of contacting him.
Well, you first have to consider if you really want him back. You did say you got him arrested for domestic violence but dropped the charges. Why would you drop them firstly? And secondly, who's to say it won't happen again.
However, if you really want him back. You're going to have to tell him about the person you slept with so he doesn't have animosity towards you later. Also, he has to accept to have you back. You can't force him to return to you.
I didn't have him arrested. I didn't even call the cops in him someone else saw him hit me and they called. when the police came I begged them to take him home but they couldn't. and I did tell him about the person I slept with. I was up front and honest about it and he blocked my number
Oh I get it now.
If he blocked your number it means he's upset with you for what you did. I can't speak on his behalf if he feels sorry for hitting you I'm sure he does. But violence is violence and infidelity is infidelity. You're going to have to give him his space until he wants to talk to you again. It could be soon or never.
I'm sure you're upset that he beat you. I would be too. Closure is good but your priority should be trying to make amends with each other before jumping back on the relationship bandwagon.
you can't call what i did infidelity. you just cant. it was a bad decision and i know i hurt him, but i did not cheat. we were not together.
He's not that into you to begin with, he has self esteem issues too
I respect those who open up to me rather than hide secrets, if he were confident and was into you enough he'll respect you cause you're honest with him and move on from the past
What I see are 2 different things. To make it short, you should move on because it's over and I personally would not waste my time if there is no benefit or progress in the situation. Which city are you in.
i live in rhode island. what do you mean you see two different things? i dont think what i did is as bad as what he did and how he handled the situation.
Tell him everything. Tell him how bad you feel and how you regret everything and what you want to happen.
I did. he still said he has to forget I ever existed and blocked all forms of communication.
It's always sorry to see a love ruined and your case is no exception. However what you did is worse than what he did with respect to romantic relationships. True love I suppose dictates that you do not get laid with another guy. If you loved him so much as you say you do, I would expect that you would have waited for years. You did it after a month or so.
Haha, but true loves means you're allowed to slap/hit/whatever you girlfriend or what?
seriously Mariella. i know what i did wasn't my smartest decision but come on... he could have killed me.
That is also true, he should not have hit her. He is probably some kind of delinquent. But still i would say the sleeping with another is a far greater crime in the realm of romance. It is a love killing action.
do you think its unforgivable? he said he'd never be able to forgive me.. not even in 5 or 10 years.
see there you go, even he said it. The thing is - how I see it - that after you do such an act you are no longer that ideal, sweetheart angel, love and tenderness. You fell from that pedestal. You reduced yourself to one of the other girl. A bitch just like the others.
well to me that is just unfair after how he handled the situation. he brought it upon himself. if he wanted to be with me or wanted me to wait around, i would have. all he had to do was say so. instead of completely kicking me to the curb for 2 months.
You didn't have to complicate matters by getting sexually involved with another guy and given the chronology of the situation I suspect you meant to pass some kind of message, but whatever is the case, as I said you could have waited if you love him as much as you say?
Don't do it. He might cripple you in the future. What if he shoots you and paralyzes you?
You sound pathetic to me. Sorry if I'm rude. But listen, you don't sound like you're in love, you just sound desperate to be back with him. What's worse, you can't accept he doesn't want you back, he probably never did in the first place.
Damn. Harsh much?
for real i'm not even going to entertain this comment.
The truth can be brutal. Most people ignore the truth if it isn't something they want to hear.
No! You both have problems and you are bad together
You are a cheater I hope he doesn't get back with you
you are an IDIOT you obviously didn't read my entire post.
No I didn't and I'm glad - ha IDIOT yeah right at least I ain't a cheater
Besides why would you want to get back with a abuser?
don't you see. fucked up people belong together ^^ what a love story <3
Lol.
It's a toxic relationship... he doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve him.
Absolutely :)
he doesn't deserve ME? he was arrested for punching and choking me while i was driving, i didn't even call the cops on him, pedestrians did. he fractured my jaw yet i still dropped the charges for him. then waited and waited for an apology, while hearing that he's telling people he never wants to speak to me again. finally he calls me and says he wants to talk about things. im not sure how HE doesn't deserve ME.
Because you cheated on him.
I'm not condoning domestic violence or assault, but cheating is probably the biggest red flag there is in a relationship.
How about you just move on? Why do you want to get back with someone who physically hurt you?
how can you say what i did was cheating? he told people he wanted nothing to do with me. all he had to do was text me and say "i dont know what i want right now i just need some time" but he didn't say a WORD to me. he owed me an apology and a thank you for what he did. i had even tried to reach out to him and got nothing in return. it took him almost two months to reach out to me. how can you say i cheated? it was a mistake, yes, no doubt, but cheating? i dont think so. and if you think cheating is a bigger flag then fracturing someones jaw while they're driving, you're delusional.
" I got drunk and slept with someone else" ... were you dating then? If so, that was cheating 100%.
no, we were not dating then because we went a month and a half with absolutely no communication despite me contacting him multiple times only to get nothing in return. you fucking moron. it took him a month and a half to apologize to me and thank me for dropping the charges after he fractured my jaw. you fucking retard.
You're the fucking retard for wanting to go back to some guy who cracked your jaw. Was it not enough?
dont sit here and tell me im the bad guy, thats the point im trying to make. thanks.
He's the bad guy, you're the naive, insolent girl.
how am i being insolent? towards you or towards him?
Me. I don't know if you were insolent to your ex... by all accounts it could be possible.
If you don't mind me asking what made him so angry to react in violence. And was this the first time for that type of anger.
You need to meet other people. There are more fish in the sea. Also, life is not fair.
I'm sorry but you're fu**ed
The damage is done beyond repair. You now have to move on with your life.
how am i fucked lol. okay.
cause you slept with another guy , things will never be the same!!!
No because he hit you it will never be the same
why go back do you want to go back for round 2 that's silly , learn from this don't be that girl. time to move on.
he was arrested for punching me and choking me while i was driving and i wasn't even the one who called the cops. you're an idiot. me sleeping with someone doesn't even compare to what he did to me. and if i can forgive him for that, he should be able to forgive me. his future was in my hands and i dropped the charges for him.
Your the idiot who wants to go back to a guy that beat and choked you smh It's only going to happen again. you're wack !!
"he owed me an apology and a thank you"
Why?
an apology for assaulting me and a thank you for dropping the charges...