When is it ok to take an ex back?

things ended because he had commitment issues, but he has started trying to get in touch in touch with me again in weird ways. After six months of no contact (and never seeing each other) he called from his friend's phone, then a day later at like 2 am, then two months later (a few days ago) he calls at 1030 pm and then sends me a text asking hey whats up. after all this time, hey whats up? it's just weird and I don't get it. is he ready to commit now? I haven't responded at all, the last thing he said to me was disrespectful and I told him to forget my number. I know he was mad because he had gotten jealous of another guy. I feel like if he's ready to commit it could work...

  • call/text him back
    Vote A
  • hold out for more initiation on his part, like an apology
    Vote B
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is it ever ok?
I am only asking for helpful, constructive advice, please don't be insulting, I would really just appreciate some insight, thanks.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think its a good idea at all move forward not backwards. A person with commitment issues isn't going to all of a sudden be ready in six months I have been in your shoes. Your ex does not want to lose you or see you with someone else neither does he want to settle down. When an ex calls out of the blue at that time of the morning or text its a booty call and nothing more. Sure he may miss you but he is trying to boost his ego by seeing if you will take him back. That is not fair and you deserve better.

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    • I specifically told the guy when it ended to never call me drunk to fuck. only one of his calls has been late at night. one call was at 3 pm, and the other text and call were around 10:30 pm. plus, why would he want a booty call out of some one he has a very complicated history with? aren't there plenty of better options for a casual hook up?

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    • alright this is clearly veeeery different, my ex has only ever been in a relationship with one other girls, and he definitely has never fathered any children.

    • I was just using an example that a guy that has commitment problems will not just commit all of a sudden it does not matter how good you are to them. I also said that if you really want to know what he wants then ask

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • "Call or text him back"? "Hold out for an apology"?
    Wow, you ARE young.
    Look over your shoulder. That person you know, but don't talk to because you had a boy/girlfriend; they want to go out with you.
    He / She is an Ex for a reason. Try to move on. "Nothing makes a fish escaping your boat more crazy than you bringing another fish aboard." And I don't mean for you to do that in order to make your "Ex" jealous. No, that would be you just being pathetic. Honestly, find someone else.
    Oh, and to answer the question (as if it were not obvious): Never. It is never a good idea to take an Ex back.

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    • that was a little harsh for no reason. I'm 24, independent, and I asked this question knowing it makes myself appear vulnerable to whoever answers. you sound bitter, and I'm sorry you feel that way.

    • Omg, really? You ask for an opinion, and then you get judgmental?
      If the opinion is not something you like, then maybe you should ask the real question. You don't ask for opinion if you're looking for a someone to agree or tell you what you WANT to hear.

    • lol, Babe. It's not bitter. It's experience. I wouldn't be telling you this if I had not witnessed or been through it myself.
      Now if my wording seems harsh, then you might need to spend a little more time out in the "relationship weather" to develop that skin. lol

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Dont Be An Eager Beaver & Just Dont Jump Right Into It, If You Wanna Be With Him Then Of Course You Should Take Things Slow, How Your Emotions Back & See How It Plays Out...

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What Girls Said 1

  • I just went through the same thing so I am the perfect person to answer this! I will not insult you so don't worry:) My ex dumped me after 9 months- he was mean and disrespectful as well. Two months later, he started contacting me wanting to see me. Part of it was because he found out I was dating someone else. Long story short, I took the bait and how did it turn out? Disastrous. He played mind games with me and I got hurt and rejected a second time. That chapter is closed - move on. That disrespectful person that you remember is still who he is. Don't set yourself up for more heartache. I know is very tempting but be strong. Trust me, you'll thank me later:)

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    • well he said something disrespectful because I kissed another guy right in front of him... it was pretty obviously to make him mad. idk, we both messed up in the situation and for the whole rest of the relationship he was really great to me. what were your exes reasons for contacting you again, how did he act?

    • He was being very sweet, wanting to hang out, couldn't wait to see me, acting jealous. My mistake was not directly asking him what his intention was, I figured it was obvious. In the end, he led me on only to tell me that he had no intention of getting back together. He was selfish and inconsiderate. My advice is to ask him upfront what his intentions are. You know what happened, so if you decide to get back together, proceed with caution. Whatever happened at the end of the relationship may repeat itself again.

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