My girlfriend of ten months left me three weeks ago from tomorrow. While ten months seems like a small time frame, we fell so damn deeply in love after I saved her from herself. (She had a hard childhood, causing her to cut and nearly suicide. I let her know that my childhood was just as bad, and that I knew how she felt.) That being said, we were inseparable. Neither of us were ever so close to another. She was and still is the one for me. We'd give each other gifts, love letters, and all sorts of stuff. Sadly, she moved a month and a half ago, and since it's a six hour drive, (We're both 16 and still have to attend high school) my only way to visit her was by train and the it hurt us both to have that kind of distance in between us. So we made plans for me too visit, and we Skyped and called each other a lot to keep each other satisfied. Finally, when I visited, we had fun (Had a bit of an argument but recovered), but when I had to leave again, it hurt us both quite a lot. When I got home, she said she couldn't do this and broke up with me. She said we could be friends, but I still begged and pleaded for another chance. She denied me that chance. Over the course of then, I kept asking what I did wrong and can we still do this, only for her to reply with "I don't know". Yesterday, she told me that she doesn't think we can be friends. I begged and pleaded again. She didn't reply, but a couple hours later, I told her that I realized how big of a child I was acting. That if she doesn't want to be with me, I'll be perfectly alright, but I'm still here if you need someone to talk to. It hasn't been a whole 24 hours and I'm desperately hoping she'll be the one to talk to me first, so I know thatmshe must have somewhat missed me. She starts her junior year on Monday, and I'm really afraid that she'll meet or someone will hit on her at her new school. I love her so much. What can I do to get her to remember how close and perfect we were before she moved?
Most Helpful Girl
First off stop messaging her right now - I'm pretty sure you're probably trying to think of the perfect thing to rationalize to her that you two can be together, it sucks but there is nothing you can do. I know this is the last thing you want to hear and after reading this you will probably disregard my advice (I went through this a few months ago and I begged and pleaded and in the end he didn't even want to be friends with me and is now telling people I am a horrible bitch) but you really need to give her space or you will lose all of her. Wait until she replies and then when she does tell her you need some time for things to stop hurting so bad - that you aren't thinking clearly, let her know that if she needs you you are still there for her but otherwise don't message her/call her and try not to think about her. You have to start moving on now because things more than likely won't work out and it will only hurt more in the long run to keep holding on. And on the off chance that she does come back to you, you don't want to seem desperate or like you were waiting around for her - that will only give her power over you and nobody should have power over the other in a relationship. I do really hope things will work out but all you can do is wait it out and when things stop hurting so bad (maybe in a month or so of not talking to her) you can message her and make her realize she misses you.
Someone actually told me something that helped me realize I had to cut my ex off it was this - You are only enabling her to move on - Because you will still be there, fulfilling her emotional needs which makes it feel like she hasn't lost anything and makes it so easy for her to move on. Then when she has moved on it makes it so much easier to fall for that person because they don't have to do anything because you are still there so they just have to be attractive to her until they are able to do it all themselves and then you will lose her anyway.0