How should I address this?

As you all know I am expecting a baby boy in November. The dad kicked me out of the apartment, said we would take it slow and he would support the baby in which he has been with appointments and bills. Recently he took me out to a fancy dinner for my birthday , had the greatest time. Had a little thought he was going to propose and all would be better rather then worrying if I'm going to be a single mom. . Later that night we went back to his apartment and watched a movie , but the thing that just ruined it all was he had been talking to his ex wife's best friend in which back before I knew him they were like secretly talking behind his ex wife's back and she had sent him dirty pictures and talked dirty to him and rumors were starting but they both denied it every time. He finally told me it was going on once he started dating me. But as I saw he was talking to her and like hiding his phone I just got sick to my stomach and I was literally up all night crying because I had caught him even though he doesn't know that I know now. I'm just trying to think of what to say to him to the point where I'll see him at the appointments and notify him about bills but I'm done with his bullshit games he's doing to me. And ideas? I would much appreciate it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • How did you discover he was talking to her? Did you see what the interaction was?
    You should be guarded. Odds are pretty good something is going on, but there is a chance they are just talking.
    I would suggest just asking him flat out if they are talking. See if he admits they are. If he lies, then tell him you know they are and at that point just hold him to his support role as the father, but not your significant other.
    If he admits it, tell him since what happened before, you need him to cease contact with her if you two are going to move forward.
    Not that it is OK what he is doing, but he broke it off with you, so at least he isn't running around behind your back.
    The key here is open honest communication. At least he is helping you. While it isn't in the way you want and totally need right now, he hasn't ditched you completely.
    He clearly has issues with committing to one woman, so be very Leary of him and his intentions. You and your child may be better off in the long run without you two being a couple.
    It is sad he has chosen to do this, especially now, but at least you know.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm expecting a baby girl in October, and I'm also having issues with the father. He basically just left me and didn't really give me a reason. And it happened so suddenly. We were fine for the 2 years we were together, up until the last month. Luckily, we didn't live together, so I can't imagine the pain of being kicked out. But I've realized that I can't put up with his bullshit anymore and my baby comes first, he's detached himself from reality and wouldn't accept any help from me. So, as of 5 days ago, I cut off all contact with him, unless it's regarding the baby. It's been pretty easy, because he hasn't even attempted to get in contact with me.
    If I were you, I'd tell him that you know about him talking to her, and that you're done with his "bullshit games", and that you deserve better. Tell him you won't contact him again unless it has to do with your little one, and then... do just that. I imagine you love him, so it'll be really hard, but it'll be worth it in the end when he's still immaturely messing around with this girl, while you're being treated like a queen from a guy who actually deserves you. Not to mention, being a single mom will be so rewarding, because you don't have to "share" your little boy.
    Anyway, that's what I would do, and that's pretty much what I did do. We can't just wait around for them to grow up anymore. I hope things work out for you, and congrats!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Communication Is Key In A Relationship, Talk To Him & Tell Him How You Feel, Tell Him It Bothers You & Is Making You Unhappy In The Relationship, If He Doesn't Changed Then Move On...

  • Too lazy to read all that


What Girls Said 1

  • You and your baby boy come first. That's always. Do what's best for you. You guys can still co-parent but you are not subject to his bulls*it. Someone will one day love you more than you can imagine. Let him be a father to his son and that's all. Guard you heart love.


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