Would you date, be in a relationship with or marry a divorced person?

Would you only date or would you commit to a serious relationship and marry a divorced person?

Why or why not?

Are you divorced?

Has anyone been involved romantically with a divorced person?

Would the answer change depending on whether the person had kids or not?

My boyfriend is upper mid 30s and I'm a graduate student in my 20s. I met him on a dating app he was one of the only guys who seemed to genuinely want a relationship and not a hookup. Plus I liked his personality and he was cute and we hit it off so even though he was a bit older than I wanted I decided to chance it.

On the app it doesn't ask for relationship status. I knew he was single now but I just assumed he was a bachelor.

After a few dates he told me he was divorced a few years ago but doesn't have kids. At first I was shocked and a little freaked out because I haven't even been in relationships over a year let alone married.

But he is genuinely a good guy with a good character and treats me well and since there's no kids his ex isn't in his life and there's no complications or things tying him down... and he still wants his own family and would remarry. So I decided it's ok.

People also told me at his age I shouldn't be surprised he was married before. I just wasn't expecting it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't. If they fucked up their other relationship then they are bound to fuck up the new one. Marriage is supposed to be a lasting bond. Not just something you can throw away because "I was young and pressured into it."

    All these folks keep giving you politically correct advice about how mistakes are made... not this kind of mistake. You're lucky you found a guy who doesn't have any previous kids; that's his saving grace. I still wouldn't date a married chick because:

    1) She chose badly
    2) She didn't know how to work through it
    3) How serious does she take marriage? To just throw it away like that? I don't want to be thrown away, ever.

    I'm not saying they are bad ppl. just unsuitable for marriage.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, It Depends On How Long & What Happened To End It, When People Get Out Of Relationships These Days They Tend To Keep In Contact Or See The Other Person, Just Be Careful & Watch For All Red Flags...

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  • I would and I have.
    Statistically, people who have already been divorced have a slightly higher chance of being divorced again.
    The chance goes from a little under 50% (about 44%) to a little over 50% (about 60%). I think chances improve if they've had no kids.
    Everyone is different and should be judged on their own merits. Some will just have been a victim of a bad previous marriage through no fault of their own.

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  • I think you'll find that the majority of relationship minded single people close to 40 are divorced, rather than 'have been single for decades but really value commitment and settling down'.

    Some are in both categories, but... yeah.

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  • er... why not?

    how does it make a person a bad one?

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  • If she satisfies the following requirements

    1. She doesn't have kids.
    2. She has a damn good reason for being divorced. Basically, the husband cheated on her, abused her, abandoned her or was a criminal.
    3. The divorce hasn't significantly negatively affected her mind

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  • Sure. Nothing wrong with a divorced person. Except that they maybe might be more careful about getting married again in the future. Nothing wrong with that either.

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    • My boyfriend knows I want marriage and kids and that I don't want to cohabit first. And he brings me to weddings and talks about the future. He said he would marry again as long as he's ready ( ex wife gave him ultimatum he wasn't ready but I am not the ultimatum type. I would calmly break up if I felt the relationship would never progress)

What Girls Said 6

  • I have never dated someone who was divorced but I wouldn't be against it. It just so happens that life doesn't always go as planned and I would not hold that against the potential partner. I would be curious, however, on the reasoning behind it - did it simply not work, infidelity, any abusive behavior or etc? That would be the decision maker for me but unfortunately it is not appropriate to ask that up front without getting to know the person. & as far as children are concerned - nowadays every one is popping out babies with out a concern so I have given up on making children a deal breaker... Unfortunately, there will be a generation where the majority of children are from broken homes as the whole 16&pregnant kick continues (not bashing young mothers, I respect you for following through on your pregnancy and being a mom).

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  • Ideally I'd like to marry a single guy. But if I'm destined to marry a divorced guy - no problems with that either

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    • Yeah that's kind of how I felt too because I am fairly young. But there's not a lot of good men out there and they always say you end up with someone who is different than you would expect. In my case he's older and divorced but the personality and character are what I've always wanted in a man

    • That's good as far as you are happy :)

  • The perks of being with a previously married man far outweigh the unfavorables in my opinion. I'm currently in a relationship with one and it has been the most successful relationship I've ever had.

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    • What are you finding the perks to be? It seems like my man is more relationship oriented and also knows how to understand women and their feelings better. He also knows how to be romantic and he is giving. He doesn't play games. He doesn't freak out at movies with love and marriage in them.

      The only drawback is wondering if they will get cold feet about getting married or if they have a secret evil side that only comes out in marriage somehow but sometimes it just didn't work out with the ex and it wasn't an abusive situation

    • Pretty much the same story you've got. I love how calm and stable he is, he's mature and familiar with the female anatomy and all its wonder and grossness, and he knows how to handle my moody days and get the smile back on my face in no time. I can tell that he choose to be with me for the long haul because we talk about the future together a lot more comfortably than I have with previous boyfriends and he's held my hand through the most difficult times in my life. He doesn't freak out about little things either. Not to mention that the sex is like 10x better for some reason, not sure if it correlates with him being married before, but it definitely could. Lmao

      As for the downside, I'm not sure if he'll want to get married again. I'm still like super young and I kinda think that I'd like to be married at least once. He had a really crappy end to his last one, so I won't pressure him to tie the knot anytime soon (maybe even never).

  • I have dated someone who was divorced before.
    I don't see why I wouldn't... and I don't see why it'd make me reconsider a serious relationship with them.
    Maybe if they'd been married 5 times or something, haha!
    I've never been married myself.

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  • I guess I would give it a try if I really liked them, doesn't mean they're a bad person if they got divorced

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    • Kids or not, if I was madly inlove I would still date them.

  • I am in the middle of a divorce and so is my bf and we both have kids so ya I am in a serious relationship and would even consider marriage at some point

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