6yr relationship ended, leaving me with our three year old son and now he wants nothing to do with us?

Me and my sons father were together for six years. In the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and got the girl pregnant, I forgave him and have been with him ever since. We have a three year old together who he has seen everyday of his life. He recently got in trouble with the law and ever since we have been arguing. A week ago he got drunk and cheated on me with the same girl from the beginning. He left me and my son and told me he doesn't want anything to do with me. He hasn't seen my son since nor has he called to ask about him. I am heartbroken and just don't understand how someone could do this after six years. I cry everyday and I have became depressed and have anxiety. Any suggestions on how to get through this and keep my son from being hurt? Thanks
Updates:
I am in the process of getting full custody and when I said I don't understand how he could do this because I thought he changed and I have done so much for him since being with him for him just to abandon us.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Im not sure you can really get your son through this with out being hurt. You might be able to mitigate the damage, but in the end your son is going to want closure of his own. Other than telling him his dad left, went away, or died you son is going to want to know why his dad left him. he will also possibly blame himself for it. That he is the reason your ex left.
    Honestly I have to think that this is going to be a situation where no matter how you handle it there is going to be issues. Your ex wants nothing to do with being a father to his son, which means your ex is not man enough to take responsibility for his own kids. Also he got in trouble with the law? do you really want that kind of example for your child to begin with?
    Honestly you are just going to have to talk to your son and make sure he understands that his dad isn't coming back. If you are smart you will file so that you have sole custody of the child, and that his father has no visitation, or limited visitation and get child support to make sure that your child is taken care of. Other wise all you are doing is creating a recipe for disaster.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, I am so sorry for your sorrow, but it's Best to Know Now----This slime ball will Never change. He's a zebra whose stripes will always stay the same shape and color, and you and your precious One are Far better Off without him.
    He's a cheat, a drunk, the lowest form of man who is Neither a soul mate Nor a Father to your son, and even after After everything he has done to You, you Enabled him to come back, where he had this problem child pattern of doing it to You again.
    Go be with some family members to help you go through with this. You need someone to help you right now.
    As much as you're heartbroken and can't understand how he could just 'Abandon us,' it was never in the cards for him to stay and be this family man or even a father figure. He's immature, Not ready for Commitment, and you are better off Alone than with him, if you know what I mean.
    Someday when your son is older, you can explain to him that daddy has problems, and couldn't stick around.
    Good luck, God bless. xx

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What Guys Said 6

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, iHate You Took Him Back The First Time, Just Make Sure You Dont Go Back To Him Again, Its Not Worth It. iHonestly Dont Know What You Should Tell Your Son, Your Either Gonna Tell The Truth Or Lie, Try & Be Strong For Your Child...

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  • how do you get through it?

    recognize the faults in him and shut the door on any possibility of him being in your life. he's proven who he is. a repeat offender (in terms a cheating) a deadbeat in terms of being a father, and a crummy partner... Essentially he's a Loser

    surround yourself with love (in your friends and family). really focus on your son and being the best you can for him. it will be painful for a time but you will get better with time.

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  • You have to be strong and show your strong so that your son feels secure and that everything will be ok. After you have your strength you'll have the tough task to tell him about his father and why he isn't there. He won't totally understand but it will help him and you immensely to be able to say it out loud and articulate the situation.

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  • You should have left him the first time he cheated on you and to make it worse is he got the other girl pregnant. He is not good enough to be a father because a father would not give up on their kids like he has done to his son. Surround yourself and your son with friends and family who have been there for both of you.

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  • You relationship is over. This is why you don't take back people who cheat. Get the courts involved to get support and visitation lined up for your son. Good luck.

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  • That's so fucked up. Find him and beat his ass!

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What Girls Said 2

  • "and just don't understand how someone could do this after six years."
    Maybe because he was always like this. In other words, he was always a douchebag. The fact that he cheated on you in the beginning of your relationship should have been an indicator of this. Oh well, that's in the past. Keep moving forward, and keep doing your best to support your son. There isn't really anything you can do to prevent your son from getting hurt, other than being there for him and being a good/supportive mother. Oh and, just a tip, be very careful with the men you date in the future. Be especially careful of introducing them to your son. You don't want him to get attached to a guy and then have the guy leave you for whatever reason.

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  • This is why you never stay with someone who cheated. You learned the hard way

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