My ex is still asking about me, after being incredibly rude to me?

Me and my ex dated a while ago, we work in the same company. Anyway, we were friends and then about a week ago he started acting really bad to me, I asked him if he wanted to meet up for my birthday, and he replied with the most hateful message sayin that he doesn't want to see me etc, I was really upset, he acted sort of jealous because he said to me 'go and spend time with the other guys who are interested in you' , and he said he didn't want to spend time with me because he saw no future with me. (I ONLY ASKED IF HE WANTED TO GO TO STARBUCKS?). Anyway, I told him never to speak to me again and that was that, this happened around a week ago.
Now, I wasn't in work since that day because I booked it as holiday, so he hasn't seen me since a few days before when he started acting weird. He saw one girl that I am close with and he was speaking to her, asking if she has my number and if we speak and if we are good friends (I told this girl about what he said to me), she said that we were etc, she never mentioned she knew about the argument to him though. He then proceeded to ask her questions about me, how I am and such.

See I am very confused, because he made such a point of telling me how much of a bad person I am and he doesn't care that its my birthday and he only apologised about our relationship because he felt forced and our relationship meant nothing to him. So why, if he hates me sooooo much, does he care how I am? Why doesn't he just phone me? Why is he still asking about me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Part of the answer lies in your post. His jealousy prompted his abrasive behavior with you, and thus, to resolve his vindictive anger towards you, he lashed out with insulting remarks and accusations.

    Now, a few days have gone by. He has had time to sleep on the issue. He realizes he overreacted. Therefor, besides personally contacting you, is there not a better way to get the message out that he is no longer angry with you and perhaps wants to resume seeing you than to ask about you and your well being to one of your valued friends?

    He is strategically setting himself up to make a comeback in your life, to claim his former position as your guy. That's all. And when you return to work, depending on how well you receive him, he is going to make a mammoth of an effort to achieve just that.

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    • But then if he thought he over reacted, why isn't he talking to me about it?

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    • He will, that is, when you return to work. After all, I mean, you did request of him that he never speak to you again. Since he is aware of your anger over the incident, he is not confident to the point of phoning or texting you. Therefore, he asked your friend about you, knowing that it would eventually find it's way to you, in the hopes that it would influence you to be receptive of him when you return.

    • good point. I will see what happens when I return. It is a bit strange he asked if she had my number then proceeded to ask about me. It makes sense now.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Dont Let That Hateful Message Make You Think He Still doesn't Think, Care & Possibly Love You. He Still Has Some Feelings For You. He Is High In His Feelings & Is Acting On Them...

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    • Why would he be so mean though?

  • This loser is a first class douche emotional and verbal abuser he may not hit you with his fist but he is just as dangerous he hits you emotionally and verbally. Tell this immature douche to FUCK off and that if he ever contacts you again your going straight to HR to file a sexual harassment complaint against him.

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    • I am just gracing him with my silence. I simply will not say a word to him.

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    • Clearly I am evil.. hahahahahaha

    • I can tell you have healed just fine :)

  • You are living proof of what i've stated innumerable times in this forum...

    Never, ever, ever get romantically involved with a co-worker. Ever.

    The rest of what you are enduring is just spindoctor cleanup bullshit. Good luck.

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  • As a man I know he just wants to have sex with you that is all no relationship just sex

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