How do you get over a break up when it's not because you don't love each other?

As we all know, sometimes love is not enough to keep people together. My BF and I broke up because of distance and because our lives are headed in vastly different directions - there is no realistic future for us. We still care deeply for each other but he's having a hard time letting me go, he wants to stay friends. This is very painful-how do I get over this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls seem to find this easier than men. We dont know where life will lead us and if you wanted to be together you would have made it work. All things are possible. But you could meet someone else.
    You dont get over it. That's the problem.

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    • There really is no way to make it work - love is not always the answer. He has chosen a certain lifestyle that he is passionate about that does not suit me, it's something that we both won't change our minds about. I need to have no contact I think otherwise this will be tough.

    • This is very healthy because it was good yet you decided it was not good enough. From here you have identified what you want. That is a huge step most people never make. So now after a little time look for the man of your dreams and don't let him walk past you. Do not drop your standards and go for gold. Use the past experience as a stepping stone to something even better. He's out there somewhere.

    • Thank you for your advice:)

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, You Can Become Friends Later In Life But Not Now, Trust Me, Cut All Contact & Allow Your Feelings To Die Down...

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  • Lol well if you're still talking to him thats just going to make it take longer imo. I don't know I get over stuff like this really quickly, keep yourself busy with something.

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  • Have realistic expectations. As there is no magic potion to speed up the healing process. It takes a great of amount of time and patience to recover fully from a breakup with someone who've meant much to you. Time alone, time dwell, time to let go emotionally, and time to transition.

    Also, accept the situation for what is, no matter how distorted the picture becomes at times, you guys are simply not compatible, for whatever reason. That, and the suggestions mentioned by the others.

    As for dealing with your guy, I read somewhere that going absolute no-contact can be less effective than remaining in contact. The sudden, silent loss of someone important can actually perpetuate the pain of a breakup. And since the breakup was amicable, I suggest, that you at least consider a gradual pullback, if possible.

    If not for you, then do it just to help him out.

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