I need some advice bc I just don’t get it. So, I dated a guy a for 3+ yrs. We lived together for most of it, he moved out in April but we talked and saw each other almost every day until the end of July. He met a girl at work that was just hired and told me he wanted to be with her (he knew her for 2 days). He told me not to wait but to know in the end there is only one person for him (me) and wants to give me the world when he can-marriage-the house- etc. Right now though, he wants freedom bc he’s getting older and wants to make sure he experiences everything. He’s 25. Since then, he has been black out drunk almost every night, doesn’t work, gets high again, takes pills, etc. The girl is getting off coke, not exactly attractive, lives at home and likes to party too. She and I are total opposite. I’ve never done drugs, graduating college, going for my PHD, live alone, buying a sports car, attractive (I’m known as the “it” girl). He has told everyone she is awesome and can’t be away from her. They spend every waking moment together, either talking or hanging out. I’ve never experienced a situation like this before. What is going on with him? Is he lost? Just lost interest in me? I’m moving on, but I am concerned for him and hope in time he wakes up and comes back. Not now, I want him to experience anything and everything he wants to. And I want to be single for a while now that this has happened. Any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
Sometimes you just meet that one person and you know immediately that is the person for you (Some people call this 'The One' effect or finding your 'soul mate'.) It is something I didn't really believe in until it actually happened.
For better or worse it seems it has happened for him too. It is not clear whether he will return to you. His mind body and soul is being corrupted by drugs, alcohol and the intoxication of a new woman. So much adrenaline and false drama being made. He will be consumed by obsession over her and the substances.
This situation isn't yours to fix. We can only look after, protect and love those people that want us and enjoy being with us. There is more to life than money and possessions. In time he will come to regret this decision he has made, whether you will want the person he becomes by that point is another matter entirely. Look after yourself and don't bottle emotions up. It is important to let your heart and mind express what it needs to express to move on and heal.
A person is only lost if they are in a place that they do not want to be in.2
Most Helpful Girl
my dear, just as women dont understand men, men dont understand women.
we give each other a hard af time yet we are each other's greatest weaknesses. its quite amazing.
i think its best u liberate urself for awhile, if not detach urself completely.0