Is it bad that I keep reaching out?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We are not meant for each other but I still love and care for him. Even though I dont wanna be with him anymore, his life means something to me. he's surrounded by so much negative that all I wanted was to be something positive in his life. Even though we broke up, everytime I think of something, I text. Is that bad? Its not a "begging to be with him text", its more of a " do positive, dont ruin ur life" text. Should I just stop? Should I just move on and stop finding reasons to stay in contact? He ignores me anyways. Lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I went through this with my ex. I broke up with her and tried to keep in contact but she wouldn't have it. I assume he is angry and hurt. When I would speak to her about things and try to be there for her, she would start flipping out saying I abandoned her. Sometimes they just need time to get clarity and lose the anger. I wouldn't continue contacting him for now. Let him work through his feelings and just keep positive thoughts for him. It's hard to do but it helps both sides work through all the emotions that come with a break up.

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    • I do know he is angry with me. So maybe thats why he's not responding. I guess ill just leave him be and hopefully he reaches out.

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    • Your not dumb, your just hurting over it and reaching out. I would discontinue contacting him. Take time away to analyze the entire relationship, good and bad. Then try and think about this isn't healthy in a relationship. You have to stand up for yourself because if you don't, you will be worked over. You did the right thing but don't keep contacting him. Let him work on his feelings before doing anything.

    • Ok.. Thanks

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, If He Ignores You Then iStrongly Suggest Moving On, You Broke Up With Him, You Made That Choice So Live With It & Move On...

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    • I didn't break up with him. There was an argument and he made the choice to walk away. When I asked if we were together a day later, he said no. I do think the decision of being apart is for the best but my heart is with him so its a little difficult to just walk away.

    • I kinda wrote in wrong in the description. Sorry!

  • hi:) You act as if he could not move on without your counseling, which is what he's doing.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Many times when couples Break Up, it doesn't always mean: Goodbye, my love.
    I believe that although "I don't wanna be with him anymore," that you still Don't want to be Without him either. Perhaps be his friend, be part of his life. It happens all the time, and then again, many times, a Friends with benefits factor comes into Effect.
    In your case, for he is putting you on his pay no mind list, for now anyways, He may have a change of heart and One day, as I had found out in my own experience, that out of nowhere, he will Return your messages with a push of a button. And the Beguine Begins, as they say... It's still 'Recent,' he may be sulking and soul searching too.. Maybe he just needs some space as well...
    And if he doesn't Respond, yes, and even now------Move on, make a life for yourself, and consider it part of Old Mother Nature, that what once was Nurtured and nursed, has had its full of seeds, planted and forgotten.
    No, 'Not bad,' a natural reaction. And I am sure all of your life you have heard this Old expression: Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
    Good luck. xx

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    • So if when he reaches out, should I ignore him? Ur right also.. as bad as i want to be over, I still want him in my life. But it's hard cause he won't reach out.

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    • I dont think its a problem since to my father side he is non existent. I keep him as a secret, which is sad. But he seems to be ok with it. My mother side is christian so of course, they're alright with me having a BF. They just dont like him. Its his lifestyle thats the problem and his behavior when he's away.

    • I see... Yes, if it's his behavior, then no matter how you slice the cake, it will be a problem..

  • Well that's a good thing that you feel that.. I'm kind of the same with this guy, although we weren't in a relationship but we were so close, it's like whenever something funny happens I always feel like I want to tell him about it. Maybe you are just used to doing that, texting him stuffs like that but of course, you guys dated!

    Try and stop texting him! And just distract yourself and don't worry about it too much:) but it's really up to you, if you feel like you really need to text him then do it, there's nothing wrong with that and it might just lighten him up that someone is caring for him

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  • Yes you need to stop. It only serves to hold you back and make you look like a fool. His life will sort itself out somehow.

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