He says he still wants to be with me but not now?

My boyfriend just broke up with me because he says he's working too much and has to much on his plate. We are currently long-distance and he says with him working and being so far away, he can't handle this relationship. He says it is only temporary but when i asked if it was a break he said it was a break up. I don't want to be with anyone else yet i dont want to feel like im just waiting around for him. What should i do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When you asked if this was a break up he went straight to the point, I think he said it was temporary at first just so you wouldn`t take it as hard if he would break up with you after a couple of days/weeks of little to no communication. This way you might have expected a break up to follow and not take it as hard.
    It sucks when you have deep feelings for someone and you hear these things following with a break up, but it sounds like he this relationship isn`t as important for him as it is for you. You could talk with him some more, but I don`t think it would do any good. Maybe it`s better to let it go and focus on a future without him, there are enough guys who are just as sweet as your loved one and may have more time to spend with you without a long distance relationship.
    I wish you the best.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't wait around for him, AND don't be with anyone else until you're ready. Don't let him keep you on the fishing line, so to speak. An ex of mine did this once as well. And basically, it was code for, "I can't handle what this commitment entails. I want to be able to hook up with other people if I want. But I still want to know you're waiting around for me in case I miss you and want you back because I still have feelings for you."

    I know it hurts, but he's made his decision, and you'll only get more hurt in the long run if you hold yourself back waiting around for him. He's going to be getting out there and living his life, and possibly dating new women. You deserve to be someone's first choice who doesn't feel that commitment to you is too much work. If that's not him, on to the next. Sitting around waiting for him to change his mind will do no good.

    • From a guy's point of view, this is absolutely right! PLUS, he could have found someone local, and wants to keep you on the side for when he's in town. Let it go, and move on.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, You Dont Necessarily Have To Date Somebody Else So It doesn't Seem Like Your Waiting Around For Him But iDo Suggest Temporarily Cutting All Contact With Him So You Can Take Time Out To Self-Heal & Allow Your Emotions & Feelings To Die Down. You Can Become Friends With Him Later On In Life, Trust Me, It's For The Best...


What Girls Said 1

  • You are no ones side partner or whatever. Don't put your phone on hold for anyone if they don't want you and won't pick up the phone then hang up on them. Don't wait around for somebody that doesn't want to be with you. It seems like he is making excuses and the relationship seems to hard for him and he has to much stuff on his plate. I went through the same thing with my ex and after that I stopped talking to him and everything cut off ties with him it wasn't easy but it was worth it. It seems like he wants a relationship with you but he doesn't want to put in the effort and has to much on his mind. I would save move on with your life and continue to distract yourself and hang out with your friends and enjoy your life. It isn't the end of the world just he broke up with you. It hurts I know it does, I have to go to school with my ex but I don't see him much and we don't talk whatsoever. The healing process took me about 5 months, just baby steps and I just acted like I didn't see him and it worked too. You don't deserve anyone who doesn't deserve you. You are no one's second choice, if he can't make time for you or whatever then he doesn't deserve you. If you stay with him your are going to feel trapped in a place where you don't belong. I was stupid and went back to my ex and you know what I hit my head and I got hurt. He broke up with me for stupid reasons and treated me like a dog and I was the one that did all the work. He made me cry I tried to hold it in but it was to hard to bare. But now that I've healed I know who I want to be in a relationship with and I know what I want in a relationship and what I deserve and I will not settle for anything less than that. He drinks now and hasn't stopped since so I think its good that I'm not with him anymore. You deserve to be someone's first choice not someone's second option. My ex had trouble commenting to the relationship and just communicating as well. I can't stand guys like that who can't put in commitment.


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