Get girlfriend back after anxiety attack?

I had been seeing this girl all summer long. We were taking it slow, and she was acting like she was very into me. We had agreed to a date for one weekend, and she seemed excited.

I was going through a massive lifestyle change, I was giving up a high paying job that was leaving me unfulfilled to go back to graduate school. The money situation was scaring me, and I began to feel extremely stressed. I found myself crying for no reason, and I began to break down. I hadn't been telling her anything about how stressed I really was.

The next day, I ended up telling her I wasn't sure I could make it to the date, and I had some financial things I needed to deal with first. She told me she didn't like how I sounded, and was going to give me space to deal with my situation. I panicked once again, and I thought I had done something wrong. Over the next two days, I proceeded to blow up her phone, trying to straighten out the situation. In the end, she told me she knew I had been trying to contact her, and she was more comfortable as friends. I think I overwhelmed her.

I feel like shit. I lost control of my emotions and I scared her off. I have been seeing a psychologist, and together we figured out that I had been having anxiety attacks. Its been a week, and I have since learned to manage the attacks and I feel much better.

I have to encounter this girl at school. I want to apologize, but I dont know how, or even when. I want to be able to salvage something of our relationship. What can I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Forget this girl. She doesn't seem very empathetic and/or interested. Good for you for going back to school. Focus on getting yourself to a better mental state. Seems like your self-esteem may also be a little low. Stress can arousal some underlying problems. Did you receive cognitive-behavioral therapy when you saw the psychologist? If not, I would suggest going to see a provider who specializes in CBT (or you can even get a CBT manual and try to do it yourself, but working through it with a therapist would help). You will meet new, interesting and intelligent people in graduate school. And with new coping skills, you'll be able to express how you're feeling more openly if this type of situation arises again. (And hopefully you'll also recognize that you deserve better than how this girl decided to treat you).

    • I don't think she knew quite what was happening, since I didn't tell her what kind of stress I was under. I was purposefully trying to hide it.

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Back Off, You Can't Force A Relationship So Dont Try, Just Allow Your Feelings & Emotions To Settle & Maybe Become Friends With Her In The Future...

    • Of course I understand I can't force anything. I just want to explain myself and let her know that I was going through a bad time. I would hope that she would understand and give me a second chance...

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