Long story short I got a HPV infection about a month after I broke up with my ex (warts). After lots of sleepless nights, professional opinions and immense stress I finally decided to tell her about it. She had been my only sexual partner for only almost two years. Infections usually appear after a few months (most people don't get infections... I was one of the unlucky few) after HPV infection. It was likely her.
Part of me didn't want to tell her because the chances of us reconciling would go from slim to none. However another part of me said it was the mature thing to do.
So we met in person and I told her what happened and she should get a pap smear. She claims to been vaccinated a year ago. When she said this she smiled and was relieved (me too). I responded "well I'm glad your alright... I'm a bit older so I'm SOL". However it is possible that she got it before the vaccination, never had any symptoms and still passed on to me. I didn't tell her that. I said my what I had to say.
The biggest thing I'm upset about is her attitude towards me after I told her this. She had absolutely zero sympathy for my situation. I'm not going to cry on her shoulder... but she didn't say "are you doing alright" or even "I'm sorry John... etc" or even a shred of consolation made me furious. After meeting with her I texted her "have a good night, but I find it strange that you were smiling when I gave you the news" she responded "you would be smiling too if you were panicking about something serious you turned to be vaccinated for". I responded "well its pretty fucking hard for me to be smiling right now. I think you are happy that I have this". She responded that she didn't mean that.
I never did anything to directly hurt her while we dated. Never cheated, hit her or anything explicitly wrong. She was good to me too... extremely good. I realize that we are split up... and that's that. This seems sickeningly unfair... do I just move on?
Most Helpful Girl
If you're an ex to her now, then yes, definitely move on. Exes don't owe each other anything after a break up. Even if it's explanations or sympathy votes. I will tell you that you have something very common and it's not the best news in the world when it happens to you, but you should know that it's out there for millions of people - me included. If she's been protected from it - good for her. I never had that option at 16 years old in 1990. But if she feels confident that she has nothing to worry about, then you just worry about yourself. She's probably a bit smug knowing that you don't have anything serious, and what it is won't ever affect her. Had she been your girlfriend then you two would be having a much different conversation I would hope. But hey, she's your ex and neither of you need to worry about what the other thinks. You showed some honesty and she's probably smiling that you were good enough to tell her without knowing she was vaccinated. Perhaps it's that that made her smile. As for you - to make up for it I'll show you sympathy. I have it too. **puts Anonymous's head to Holly's breast** there, there... it's over now... shhhhhh...
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