Im unsure of the actual truth of it all?

hi im 30 years old, i been with my girlfriend for about 3+ years. i recently caught her cheating on me. she's 25. she's been with 3 other people during our course of the relationship. she left a lot of evidence in the phone which i got and shown right back to her. she was stunned, and didn't know what to say. i asked why she did it. her response was because she had the freedom to do so. i believe at the time she was really mad more so the fact that i got information through the phone. the pictures are explicit. furthermore, they are some of the actual person all lovey dovey she seemed pretty happy and interested. i have so much strength to look at these pictures and not feel anything what so ever. i guess its because it was a premonition of mine. i didn't talk to her for 2 days. and on the 3rd day. i picked up her phone call. she wanted to meet. i already knew what it was about. i met her, simply because i felt sorry for her. when me met i told her there's nothing she could do at this point to hurt me. i been there in a previous relationship and I've done all of this before. im still a gentleman and my demeanor hasn't changed at all. for i knew she couldnt appreciate a great guy. she admitted to f-king up, she was so apologetic and wanted to fix things. she said the reason for her cheating was there was certain things lacking in our relationship. for example she wanted our own place, so one guy had his own place. one guy was more intimate and nicer than me. im like wtf so everything we lack you'll find in someone else? she said those people dont mean anything at all, i laughed in my mind. i ask if she's gonna cheat again she said no. i was like okay, ill give her a chance to fix things and salvage our relationship while i experiment on her and do me. i know im supposed to have some dignity and blah blah. but at this point IDC, im fine. i guess im wondering if she is being genuine or am i just being a cushion for her guilty feelings. how should i treat her now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are too nice a guy. You seem to deal with it with a amazingly cool head. She might change but she obviously is wanting something more in life. Maybe you are not the man for her but she just can't make a life choice. You need to make that choice for her, walk away.

    If there was any real love between you both then this wouldn't be happening but it has so you have to question why you guys are together and is it worth it and for how long.

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    • thanks man. much appreciated. she's trying to put all in the past right now. trying to give herself a fresh start. number change and what have you. she thanked me so much for busting her cheating. she told her family what happened and is feeling remorseful. im just here eating popcorn lol

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    • trust me man. im not any making any excuses what so ever for her. i was never the controlling person at all, and what confuses me is that, i personally feel like that is what i shouldve been. a take control person. especially since we live in different towns its more difficult for me to do that. she always mentioned to me she wants to live together and be with me more. i always thought maybe this couldve been the root of this event. my attitude has by far changed drastically. basically i dont give a shit mode. she took responsibility of her actions because she told her parents and family members what she has done.

    • maybe she knew that she would be too tempted to stray and that she needed you to be there to make it feel like more of a commitment. When people live apart they can fall to the postcode rule, i. e, if you are in different postcodes then you are free to do as you please.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Sorry, but no way is she genuine!! She isn't capable of it. She cheats because something is lacking in your relationship? NO, she cheats because something is lacking in HER. She has proven the fact that it isn't a one time thing AND that she can't truly take responsibility for her actions. ("I'm really sorry, but it wasn't REALLY my fault"...) I wouldn't waste another minute on her (but I'm jaded, LOL!)

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  • She obviously isn't ready to settle down or she wants an open relationship. She sounds like a time waster for someone who's willing to settle down

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What Guys Said 4

  • because "I had the freedom to do so."?

    Translation... because "I don't love you at all"

    -I don't really need to read more after that line.

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    • i dont want to sound naive. but because we were in a long distance relationship, im unable to be around her as much as we both wanted that. she often pointed out that fact. another thing is that i gave her all the freedom she wanted. because her previous bf was abusive and very possesive. im not that guy because my mind can't switch way. so when she said "freedom" it couldve been all of that. cheating its self means you dont love that person at all anyway. im guessing there is no excuse for cheating.

    • If she loved you, she wouldn't even think about being with another guy. Heck you're around my age, if she loved you she would want to be with you and not be in a long distance relationship, she would want to be with you and make a family.

  • not sure why your unsure of things , its pretty clear she cheated on you and its clear it happened more than once and it appears she enjoyed doing those things with another guy. I don't see what is unclear about his situation , you were faithful to her I suppose and she choose to not take your relationship seriously.

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  • My experienced opinion is that she's not worth her weight in goat shit.
    Women usually cheat more often after 5 years of relationship than they ever do at less than 3 years. It's not looking good, especially when 3 different men were involved.

    Even if she believes her own bullshit, she'll cheat again. If you invest anything more into her, you'll regret it. Cut your losses, and look for something better.
    There's a good chance she'll cheat on the next man, too.

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  • move on bro

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