Ex boyfriend of 9 months broken up for barely 6 months and now engaged to girl before me? Guys please give me your input on this man!!!

Ex boyfriend of 9 months broken up for barely 6 months engaged to girl before me? I'm really struggling with my emotions about this, I feel really humiliated and embarrassed as we broke up at the beginning of the year, he just moved his stuff out one day without telling me. We were also engaged before we broke up. He kept telling me he was over her she left town to be with her babies father and there wasn't anyone else. He got a job in the oilfield so our relationship was a bit stressful at the end. I supported him when he had no one (she sure was no where around) and made sure I cooked and tried to be a good woman to him. Then he tells me I took him for granted because we argued. I opened up my home to him, basically tried to show him a woman can hold him down. Before we broke up, he tells me I'm everything a man would want, he posts on fb that im caring, amazing and supportive. When I confronted him about the engagement he basically took those words back like he never said it! We recently had been seeing each other for three months again an he never mentioned being with anyone. We were together last Wed night and he proposed to her on Saturday? I knew I shouldn't have been seeing him but I was still really inlove with him. He claims now that he is unsure of his feelings for me. he must be sure that there aren't any now that he's engaged so why can't he tell me that? Now he is being really cruel and cold, basically making me feel like a *****. Why does he hate me?


0|0
51

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't take anything this man does personally. It is very sad, but there are some people out there who can hurt people like this and are only out for their own interests. He can't decide who he wants and he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. It doesn't mean you're not enough or worth it. Trust me. I know of a man who was playing 3 girls at a time, these were all beautiful girls who could have anyone. He ended up marrying and getting one pregnant, and still plays her when she is a great mom to his kids. None of these girls deserve it.

    Your ex reminded me instantly of him. I would always wonder what could possibly make these girls who have so much going for them, fall for him? He just has something about him I guess. He knows how to make people love him. He probably has a lot of issues deep down that cause him to treat others like this. maybe he doesn't even realize how much it hurts you.. just don't believe you deserve it. There are a lot of men out there who wouldn't do this to you. You got lucky and dodged a bullet. Don't even answer his calls. Make him realize he lost you and never look back!!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks, what you said really makes me feel less of an emotional nut case. He puts up a really huge front, that's why he gets women to fall for him! Not just women he's interested in but people in general. He's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide really it's scary how emotionally disconnected he was with me. Everyone thinks he's so nice and he's faithful to his women. He actually prides himself on it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You want the truth? You're not gonna like it... well... because YOU were the backup plan all along and "she" was the one that "got away" this whole time. Just like you were/are madly in love with him, he felt THAT way about her. There is nothing you could had done different about it. He doesn't hate you, he doesn't see you in the same light as her. Best thing you can do is shut that chapter and move on.

    0|0
    1|0
    • It's funny how men always call women bitter, or don't understand why we have trust issues, it's because of games and lies like this. Yet he feels he did nothing wrong. Am I crazy because I for one feel that this was wrong to put someone through. You can't beg for someone to be with you, only to end up going where you should have stayed in the first place. How do some men sleep at night?

    • On their back with lights off? Same as most women do... its not gender specific, I understand you are in pain BUT in EVERY relationship there is a leader and a chaser... you were unfortunately the chaser in this case... chaser's always fall deeply in love and leaders always get bored too quickly, the only way to have a balanced relationship IS to have 2 chasers... look around you and you will understand my point... He was just not that into you compared to HER... chalk it off as a bad experience and next time, knowingly, don't get involved with a guy who has so much baggage, you gotta take 25% of the blame here for walking into quick sand... chin up and move fwd!

    • Thanks again for your help, he's since broken the engagement two weeks after. He is now apparently in the process of giving this 23 yr old girl the idea that he wants to marry her. I'm now in a relationship of my own and happy

What Girls Said 4

  • I think he's being dumb by moving so fast with this new girl. Based on what you wrote, it doesn't seem like he is completely over you. This guy is messed in the head and I really think you should move on and forget about him. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I do sincerely suspect some kind of mental or chemical imbalance. Normal people don't sleep with someone then three days later want to be married. Smh

    • Show All
    • Everyone says that, that I dodged a bullet. I want to believe that, the worst part is now my self esteem is and ego is a bit bruised at this point. I've never felt this low before, usually I'm a good judge of character and try to avoid being used. I should have paid attention and not let my heart get in the way.

    • I went through a very similar situation as you, so i know the feeling. You feel like you've done so much for them and then they leave in such a hurtful way. No sense of appreciation. I just want you to realize that it has nothing to do with you and you did nothing wrong. This happened because you are suppose to be with someone else. Someone much bettet and that will treat you right. I can almost guarentee your ex will regret letting you go, but by that time it'll be too late.

  • He's your ex if he got engaged to a girl within 6 months of breaking up with you- that shouldn't matter 2 u

    0|0
    1|0
    • Unlike a lot of humans these days I have feelings, so if I love someone it's not going to disappear in six months Lol. Wish life worked that way!!. It matters because I never really got closure and I never had a chance to get over him.

    • But he's moved on and if he loved you as well then he wouldn't have. Sounds bitter I know but you're only hurting yourself. He's happy and you're unhappy

    • As for your comment - every human being has feelings lol had we not we'd kind of be robots without any emotions

  • You're being stupid. He's obviously a piece of shit, if you let him use you like a door mat then you can't whine about it, it takes 2 to tango! And you're only embarrassing yourself more by caring so much, you wouldn't be embarrassed and humiliated if he stopped existing. And it takes years to really know a person, and I'm sure that in years you would still be dealing with the same issues. You know how a person should be treated in a relationship, and you know this is not it, yet you're still victimizing yourself. Stop victimizing yourself, its pathetic to keep dwelling, find the dignity to pick yourself up and move the hell on to what you know you deserve.
    I know the pain you're going through, but the only way I got through it was by crying on the inside like a winner, you can't control what you feel, but you can do your best to convince yourself and everyone that you'll be okay until you are okay, fake it till you make it!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your advice, but I'd rather not pretend to be in a place that I'm not. You mentioned you know my pain, then you would know that someone telling you that you are pathetic and stupid won't help.

    • Show All
    • The more time you waste your times on this, the more time your adding to you recovery, and the less time you give yourself to find something better. Stop dwelling and be a strong woman.

    • You should really stop giving people advice and quotes from movies 😒

  • The sad part you were the revenage girl he used u so he dont feel alone but he couldnt care for you because his heart belonged to someone else no he's were he wanna be and aware of ur feelings his going to be disrespectful to you just so u can start hating him and get rid of the feeling you have because he has no intentions

    0|0
    0|0
    • Just to let you know, you were right about the using me part, funny how you know more about a person when you break up, than in the relationship

Loading... ;