Is it possible to love someone and cheat?

I have just found out my boyfriends been cheating on me, I honestly do think he loved me, but then why would he have been cheating on me all this time if he really did?

Updates:
when i say "all the time" ... its been on going for a few months with one girl that i have always felt weary of...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The caveat of small sample size obviously applies, but I find it really interesting that most men feel it's a "yes", and most women conversely feel that it's a "no".

    For me, I think that a person who cheats might possibly still feel love SOMEWHERE in their heart for their partner, but they are no long IN love with them. There's no room there for infidelity and betrayal like this, in my opinion.

    I don't typically like dealing in absolutes, but this is one of those areas where I feel it's pretty black and white; being in love with someone completely and fully means that your hearts and bodies belong to one another completely and FULLY, and that's that. Period, end of story.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Yes, it's possible, but it's the exception rather than the rule. If a guy loved a girl, but maybe he had some hot girl throwing herself at him when his girl wasn't around, and it a moment of weakness, he got with that girl. In that situation, he would realize that he messed up, and would probably confess to her out of guilt. He definitely wouldn't repeat the mistake, and he'd feel like crap about it, even if she never found out. That might be the kind of thing you could forgive.

    But if this is an on-going situation, then what it means is that, despite any feelings he has for you, he puts his own desires ahead of you and probably ahead of everything else; i. e., he's selfish and self-centered. That's not real (romantic) love.

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  • if you are soooooooo positive that he loves you and you love him too... then put in your mind that we aren't saints we are humans and humans (no matter what) do mistakes and as he admitted it and won't do it again then it's fine... but I'd be cautious if I were you from now on

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  • It is not love, when cheating becomes a repetitive thing, no. He is not a man when he lies to your face. Find someone who isn't co-dependent and manipulative enough to lie to you for months when you already had your suspicions. This is the type of person who identifies themselves by how desired they are.

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  • That depends on what you mean by cheating.
    If he slept with a hot girl he met at a bar where he was lying drunk.. That might happen even though he loves you truly. No one is a yogi guru here that has total control over all his senses and desires.
    But if he was in a relationship with a girl he knew even before he met you, that is actual cheating. Then he deserves to get kicked in the nuts. And trust me, love is the last word that comes to his mind when he sees you.

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, When You Truly Love & Care For Somebody You Dont Cheat On Them Cause The Last Thing You Wanna Do Is Hurt Them, He May Love You But Not Enough To Stay Faithful, If You Take Him Back Then He Might Do It Again Because He Knows You Will Take Him Back, Set Your Emotions Aside & End It...

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  • Yeah it is -possible-. Love doesn't magically fix everything.

    Why was he cheating 'all this time'?

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  • I am guilty of this right now. I am in love with 2 women and I am in a relationship with both of them. I cannot decide which one I want more or how to break up with her.

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What Girls Said 8

  • If you bought a pet, whom you grew very attached to, and you lived daily with it. It became a part of your life. If it were a dog, you'd take it for daily walks, give him a good rub when he asks for it, and cuddle when you feel like having some warmth. In other words, you built a connection with the animal. Now let's say one day you just wake up, see another cuter breed and decide that you want that one instead. What do you do next, you may ask. You simply buy that new, cute puppy, brings it to your home and completely neglects the other one you had to begin with.

    I know it's quite a far-fetched analogy, but I want to put things into perspective to you. Bringing another dog home doesn't mean you still don't care for the one one, because you do. But the priority in your life shifted from the old dog, to the new one. Your boyfriend might still care for you, but he certainly does not love you or else you would've been so important to him, he'd never consider being with someone else.

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  • No there is no such thing. If someone loves you, he should be afraid of hurting you. Love is caring each other, trying to be best for them.
    If he cheats, there exists no love. There is just selfishness and selfish desires. True love never hurts anybody.

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  • No. You can't love someone and cheat on them. Impossible. Because love would mean you never want to hurt that person and all you need is that person. The minute they even think about cheating, the further out of love they start to fall. And all this moment of weakness nonsense, no. People can think for themselves. And if they think 'okay maybe this once' that's not love. If he's cheating on you, forget about him.

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  • No. I don't think so. Because if it was love, they wouldn't disrespect and disregard your feeling like that.

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  • No he dont love you. If he did he would not cheat that means you didnt. cross his mind

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  • It is possible for men and women to love and stray, however once they stray your relationship is over. it's the old saying you can love and still need to let go.

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  • no, i don't think so, if you cheat you put your selfish desires before every thought about your partner's happiness and emotional and physical well being. so if you'd do that to someone, you don't love them.

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  • to me if a person truly love another, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her let alone cheat.

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