I just checked old unread messages on Facebook and I had a few from my EX. This is what he wrote does it even sound real?

First I never noticed that Facebook has 2 things for messages if you use a computer. One says inbox and one says other. I never checked other until last night and saw these messages from December. We broke up in September but I stopped talking to him December 1st the last text I got from him was have nice tragedy on the day of my Nanny's funeral. Messages below

December 9,2013
I just wanted to say that it really is true that people don't know what they had until its gone. I wish I would have gave you more attention and I wish I wouldn't have given up on us regardless of what my situation was. I never stopped thinking about you everyday and its ok that you don't think about me and its ok that you don't want me back. You don't even have to reply to this message. I just felt I owed it to you to say this. Ill always love you for the amazing woman you are and ill never have another (deleted my full government name)

December 11, 2013
My mama asked about you

December 13, 2013
And you don't have to ever reply apparently
Updates:
we were together for 8 months first half was good the rest was hell. He hid a lot about himself then I discovered he was suicidal, a real psychopath, and possibly a necrophile. I was mentally abused and spiritually broken.
I realized he only wanted me because he felt like a girlfriend would solve all of his problems but I'm not a doctor. I literally stopped him from blowing his brains out numerous times. He was sucking the life out of me and I was afraid but I left.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can I be utterly upfront with you? Typically I wouldn't ask (in fact this is the first time I ever have), however, the last thing I want to do is cause you any stress or heartache unless you first give allowance for such statements in terms to this individual.

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    • sure i'm open

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    • @Creole_Flavor
      Not a problem at all and if you need any more information, you can feel free, at any time, to PM me.

    • I agree completely, I know some people like this that I was friends with. They sucked the life out of me too, and there is honestly no way you can help them. They will just abuse your company and trust. They can only choose to help themselves FOR themselves, not for anyone else. Med11, that was a good analysis and advice, you should get MHO.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Your best without this guy in your life see he needs major mental
    health help and unless he goes to get help him self he could end
    his life in suicide or possibly take a life of another person deep down
    he didn't want a girlfriend he wanted you as a therapist to help him
    I believe he may had some feelings for you but this guy definitely
    doesn't know how to show real love to a woman maybe years of
    counseling , medications, group therapy with others could help him
    you were lucky when you let go of him when you did otherwise he
    could of done something really serious i have met some girls that
    i just let go cause they would say mean things to me but yet claimed
    they loved me I'm like what. When people are mentally ill they have
    no awareness of hurting others they can do it in blink of eye and
    it doesn't bother them at all, yes he has multiple mental illnesses
    As a person with Bipolar, Schizo-affective, Personality disorder
    Anxiety , Depression i can recognize this mans sick i don't hide
    nothing about myself cause than I'm just kidding myself but with
    therapy over the years I've learned to correct my mistakes I am
    proud of where i made accomplishments where i had been failing
    one thing i can see with this guy he lacks the ability to love and
    i thank God i have that ability to love i think this guy needs prayer
    i feel bad for all the hell he put you through yes when people are
    mentally ill that is one step everyone needs to see when things
    are bad get out of the relationship and move on with life you
    are a very fortunate young woman and God was walking with you
    he protected you from this guy and if I'm wrong about anything
    please correct me but I do wish you the very best i do apologize
    for the other people who answered you with rude opinions
    best wishes in all you do and feel free to correct me in any way
    i like to make sure i am giving good opinions, help, advice.

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    • Thank you dor understanding and I am glad that you can admit your problems and would not hide them. I don't judge people with mental issues because I know some people who are still very normal but I guess that is because they are being treated and it may be something minor. I do believe God was with me every step of the way even when I ignored my own inner voice he was still speaking to me and I finally listened to my gut and got away. I am glad that you have the ability to love and I hope that one day you find someone. Some people don't understand what I went through even though I explained but you don't have to put yourself in my shoes to know that I was in a bad situation and going through a painful time. Thanks for being kind and for the advice

    • You're very welcome glad to help you:)

  • This guy genuinely had feelings for you.

    But you said it... You are not a doctor.

    For him to change, he has to want it more than he wants to live. Hopefully he will reach that place at some point in his life... God is there for me.

    Move on.. And trust your gut always. It will tell you if he is genuine or not... Be careful.

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  • 1. The guy (I'm sorry for this happening to him) has issues as you've described
    2. He's obviously liked the time you guys were together
    3. When left alone and lonely, we tend to think about the ex - especially. The feeling of loneliness drives the brain back to what was the comfort earlier
    4. These are emotional statements - yes but I'd say considering his situation, keep away :-)
    5. Unfortunate and sad but best kept that way

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  • its a good thing you two aren't together anymore. if he really cared, about the relationship, love but espacially you, he should have searched for real help. im not saying he didn't care, could have his own way of doing that.
    but im glad you broke up. and hope he is wise enough to stick around. seek help, and eventually build a life for himself.

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    • I hope he gets help too it just seems like a downward spiral but I know he has to want better for himself

  • It's sounds real. Just stay away for your own sanity.

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  • So fucking what? Psychopaths may have a small bit of humanity. That's really not your concern is it?

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    • I actually care about this dude and want him to get help but I can't be friends with someone who has threatened to kill me

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    • It may not be her concern but at least there's someone who cares if he gets help you have no idea how hard it is to get over stuff like that

    • You really are an ass like I said before I did not know he was a fucking psycho if you read you will see that my life was threatened I found the strength to leave and there are a lot of other details that you don't know that I will not speak about that were done to me its just unspeakable. This has nothing to do with interpersonal skills and as for knowing who is and is not worth your time if it was that damn simple a lot people would not be single right now give me a break here this guy had a mask on and took it off when I was vulnerable and manipulated me. You soud bitter because apparently psychos are getting more attention then women are giving you well that's sounds like a personal problem. I am not obsessed with him he is obsessed with me apparently I am trying to get over pain. @johnnyboy9509 It really is hard and people like this jerk are bitter and lack empathy

  • Wow. Don't contact him it will just remind him of you because it was almost a year ago when he sent this. Then he will try and contact you again.

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    • I won't even after this I spoke to him a few months ago but I stopped after this but I now ever so often he will try and I wish that he will just get some help. I expressed my concerns with his mother when we broke up and she just blew it off and she knows his mental history better then I do.

    • That's being inconsiderate on her part she knows her son has problems. Their is nothing you can do. Im glad you got out of it before it got to serious.

  • anyhow I can this is real. he is trying to protect his image and self confidence while still trying on you

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  • He still love u a lot. !

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    • Well I didn't feel like he loved me when we together so it most certainly would not mean a thing now. He did not love me he was dependent on me :( I was foolish but I made a mistake and realized it before things got ugly.

What Girls Said 19

  • I have always found that the saddest, most frustrating thing in someone's life is--------Being an Enabler for someone we love. And with this, it could be anything from soup to nuts, but in your case it was-------A man you fell in love with who was and still Is emotionally unstable and has many mental issues.
    Trouble is, when they get like this, and with every once of strength you can muster to try and reach Out to them they end up-----Sucking the life out of me and I was afraid and I left... I was mentally abused and spiritually broken...
    You did the right thing here. If you had stayed any longer, he would have Continued down this Beaten path, and no matter how hard you would have tried to Pull him out of these dangerous waters, he would have Always been pulling you to the bottom of the deep blue sea like an as-cine anchor, holding you down with him, Hitting rock bottom Eventually, and who knows----Could have killed Both you and him in the end...
    He Obviously did some serious soul searching, and for him to take the time to Pour Out his heartfelt feelings, he realized what he had done, and Never realized until the day the one person who Gave him Life, Gave him His life--------Vanished from his own life, leaving him to wallow away in his own Ruins...
    No, not really a 'Doctor,' but to them we are Their Shrink, their salt of the earth, their life line when they only have grasping for straws left in their Lost loser minds. They never Realize, Can't 'Realize' until it is too late and we're gone----The best thing they ever had is not there to hold their hand anymore and it's either take Life by the back of its neck and Do something or Die trying...
    You showed Tough Love, sweetie, This Now is your closure... No contact, even if This pulls at your heart strings, he Meant for It to, and I do not have to be a 'Doctor' to read between the lines---He wanted you once more to reach out... 'Apparently' come back... And full circle sorrows again would begin...
    Good luck. xx

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    • You're right he was using me for like therapy I was the giver and he was the taker but he was not being a good boyfriend we just seemed to exist around each other I felt like a trophy sometimes just sitting pretty he did not know what to do with me except hurt me and whenever he felt that I was going to leave he would do any and everything to get me to stay and the cycle started over again. I grew tired mentally and I let go. I have my regrets about things but I can't change them. I am trying to heal. I have healed but not enough and I do wish him the best but I will never talk to him again or his mother. I wish she would get him some help she knows his mental history and I think she can convince him but she won't try. I put everything God's hands though

    • Yes, you certainly have gone through hell and high waters with him and enough is enough. How long can anyone be someone's enabler and keep holding their hand? It's never going to change and even his mom is his enabler now, his doctor even... Yes, move on and forget him, you need to heal and just forget him and Her... And like you, I always always let God guide me, leaving everything in HIS hands... xx

  • Just let him be, and you are right you are not a doctor. I think he needs help like maybe couseling or something. My ex was somewhat like that but his problem was he wants a girlfriend but he doesn't know what a relationship is. Mine started drinking and since then hasn't stopped I tried to help him but once they get hooked onto that stuff there's nothing much you can do. Maybe he needs to see someone or talk to someone. But I wouldn't recommend in taking him back, if he wants you then he is going to have to change someone. And don't try to change him, let him change on his own. Don't be afraid to walk away I was afraid to walk away from mine but instead I stayed and I got hurt. I don't think he really loved me he just loved the "benefits of having me." If you have done all that you can in a relationship and your parent has not given anything back into the relationship then the best thing to do is to walk away. If you are giving them your all and they are giving you nothing such as excuses then walk away and never look back. He is your ex, and he is your ex for a reason that's what I look at it as. I hope you don't get hurt like I did and be stupid to take him back because if I could have walked away a long time ago I would have. He has to be able to want to change on his own. Be careful because sometimes they don't really mean what they say, trust me I've been there done that. Just please don't get hurt cause you'll regret it.

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    • I wouldn't take him back and I know that I can't help him but what upsets me is that his mom knows he is suicidal and I'm not the first girlfriend to inform her that he may be in danger of himself. I really think if anyone can get through to him it is her I honestly feel that even she may not be safe he is not to be trusted.

    • So he wants to kill himself?

  • Too little, too late. These messages don't change anything, he should of tried harder if he was that committed to getting you back, you're worth more than last ditch attempt Facebook messages. Keep going, pretend they didn't happen, you're better than that and he doesn't sound like a valuable or positive assett to your life anyway, no loss on your part.

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    • Right he lost me and I'm not going back he was more of a burden then anything and has nothing to offer but pain. He never deserved me in the first place.

    • Exactly, don't let his issues become yours. He sounds like a drag and a low effort guy, not worth the hassle and stress of a relationship.

  • It's good that you broke up with him given the circumstances of how YOU felt. You're right. You're not a doctor and no one can solve another person's problems. Only they can help themselves.

    Not sure why you're asking if these sound real or not. Do you think they're spam?

    Definitely try not to let the messages get to you and don't fall make down memory lane with this relationship. It was toxic for you and it's not healthy to stress over the past.

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    • I was wondering if it sounded real because when we were together he seemed so cold, dark, and emotionless and after the break up he suddenly shows emotions but I feel like that was his bipolar or something kicking in. I always wonder if people with mental issues can actually feel emotions. It does not matter really I am trying to move past the pain so far so good but I wish I could just forget

  • Honestly whether it's real or not you said it yourself the relationship wasn't great and he broke you down in all types of ways.. so if I was you I wld not give him another chance because some people won't change and you deserve better without having to take that risk of going back to the same thing

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  • Sounds like he had serious me tail issues and you did the right thing by leaving him. If he was just with you because he was in love with the idea of a relationship then those letters he sent you are meaningless. He still doesn't you, not the real you, the idea of you.

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    • He is really needy and hates being alone those kind of people look for love for the wrong reasons. I believe it was my company that he liked he does not know what love is

  • That's why they say "everything happens for a reason"

    If it was the intention of the big guy above you would have seen those messages way back when they were first sent out to you... I think you stumbled across them now so you can see where you have grown as a person since then and how destructive that relationship/guy was to you... show you how now that you stepped away realized that it was the best move you could have done, and being outside the box gets you more clarity to help him by other means if it is that he still needs the help! BUT DONT FEEL BAD FOR HIM... first have compassion for yourself and say "I don't deserve someone's rage & deserve to be loved and not mistreated"

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    • Yes this is true I was going through a lot at that time and if I would have seen those messages back then I probably would have done or said something that I regret. Since then I have lost 2 loved ones and I realize life is too short to waste time spending it unhappy with the wrong person and not be surrounded by love. It has been a year and I have not dated and being single after the breakup for this long was the best thing for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have reflected on life, my past relationships, what i'm worth, what I really want and deserve. I'm still a work in progress

  • Chileee , that's some shit right there !!! it's sounds pretty real to me. Don't message him back.

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  • It sounds very much real. I jus wonder how many more texts it'll take before he notices you may never reply lol

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    • Well he sent these last year but he ended up reaching out through email to apologize in January and I replied but he kept trying to be friends. I accepted his apology but I don't have the energy to be friends with him, because he put me through a lot and I don't feel safe. It wasn't until he tweeted me that I told him to leave me alone that he decided to stop he deleted his tweet because he had a girlfriend lol

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    • Yeah they are not together he went crazy on her and she contacted me for help she had a very hard head I told her how dark and twisted he is and she did not want to leave him alone until she found out that his mom stopped him from going to her house to harm her after a disagreement. She got a restraining order on him. He is very manipulating and charming but crazy

    • Speechless lol =o

  • Hey sweetheart. This man has some serious problems. You are not Florence Nightingale. I totally understand staying with someone who needs to feel love/affection/help their significant other out of real emotional problems. Don't you dare feel you "need" to always be their for him. I went down that path. Yes... I would never change this relationship as it ended in an extraordinary life! I now have a serious choice to make soon, and it would have been easier much earlier on. Please look at you're future choices thoroughly.

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    • Thank you it's nice to know someone has been there and made a choice for the better. I have not spoken to him in months I am over him but not quite over what he put me through I honestly hope he gets hope and never comes after me or something like that even though its been a year that we broke up you never know if he might just click. I'm not in contact with him but I think of these weird scenarios of what would happen if he wanted to commit suicide would he want to contact me to say goodbye. I try not to be paranoid but He really left a mark on my soul

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    • That Mark on your soul will always be there. Trust me. You can also trust me that you will move on. His actions are his and his alone. You can't live in the past. He will always want to dwell on the past, and there you will always be the highlight in his mind's eye. This is not reality. You are not responsible for his actions now or any time in the future...

    • Thanks again I know with time things will get better I probably need to occupy my mind more I became distant from my social life and some hobbies while I was with them and I'm getting back to that these days.

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