Can you really stop loving someone in one day?

If you've read my other questions, you know I've been with this guy for a while. We were really close and had a deep connection emotionally. You also know he broke up with me because of a drug addiction. This is an example of what I'm trying to ask about:
The days before our sudden breakup, he was as kind as ever, taking me out to dance on the porch, holding me when we slept, smiling and laughing and talking about living together in another state--then it changed. He was busy with work, I knew, and struggling with his addiction, but then all of a sudden he called and said he "knew" he loved me but wasn't sure if he was "in love" with me. it was as if his feelings disappeared in a day.
He said that he was upset about it for a while, and he talked to me about wanting to get back together one day in the future, then suddenly seemed to hate me just because I found out he hooked up with someone. His friends told me, without me even asking, and they were really upset about it. But he says I'm at fault and it's almost as if his love for me never existed with how he's acting now.

A lot of guys I've dated were really close to me and all said I was their perfect match. Even after the fact they say that. Yet, they all broke up with me out of the blue because they said "I just stopped loving you yesterday" or "you're more like a friend". Seriously.

Why do guys do that? is it even possible to wake up one day and think: I don't love this person anymore. And if they thought like this before, why not say it immediately and work it out instead of letting the girl think everything is ok?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe love is like a flower. You have to feed it. Take care of it. Give its water. Make it have some sun light, not too much.
    If you do these, your flower never dies. Doesn't it?
    But if you forget watering it, put in a dark room, how does it survive?

    Nothing comes out of a blue. There should be something, that they didn't tell to you. But this is not just one person's fault. It is your flower, you both have to take care of it.

    • He had a drug addiction. I did everything I could to help him, and I did all he wanted. Even after outer breakup and our post-breakup fight he told me, "don't blame yourself. mp you were good. It isn't even because of you I feel this way. I just changed."

    • Show All
    • No problem, though I can use more help as things have changed. Would you mind if I messaged you?

    • Yeah you can message, no problem

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What Guys Said 3

  • My answer is "YES". You can, I've been there wondering the same. I broke up with her 2 years ago, and yeah, now I don't care about her, pfft.. b.. But I still have those texts, the photos etc.. wait.. I still miss her omg. :'(

    • So you still love her? Despite one day thinking you no longer did?

    • Hi! This is what I say, you really can stop loving him of course, but if you keep that place empty for long enough, it will just make you miss that person, and eventually you may fall for them again, it happens. So the best thing to do is, find something else for that empty slot to be occupied. See someone else who'll give you the chance of not missing the person you fell in love before. But hold on! You have to wait for a while after a breakup. After an argument of deciding how long you should wait, I'd say it will take you around 5-6 months. In that run, you'll realize that you can really live without him, you'll believe in the awesomeness of being single, you'd even hate being in a relationship. What I say is, that's when you're ready for someone else. Then if someone asks you out and you feel it's right, just go for it. So to simply answer your question, YES! You can forget that person, you need to fill that empty slot, that's all.

      P. S. Pardon me, I'm not fluent at English.

  • To Answer Your Question I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, True Love Can't Fade In One Day...

  • If Its true love In No way can you


What Girls Said 1

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