I broke up with him, not sure if I made the right decision?

Long story short, me and my ex dated for a year and half, he was deeply in love with me, but I'm not sure about how i feel. He is a sweetheart like a goat, talented, tells me everything about him, loves me with all his heart, planning for the future, take me to see his parents, etc. however my concerns became bigger and bigger as time passed by, like he was often late for work (like 11am, irresponsible from what i see), always have excuses and bullshit, shittalk about others often, not a driven/ambitious person, show little respect to people sometimes, for those reasons I just couldnt picture myself with him in the long run. So I broke up with him, he was crying and heart broken. Then I start to think about myself, my flaws; I'm self-centered, overly critical, cynical, judgmental, and I snore big time, etc. We are all flawed. And I start to appreciate that he put up so much shit with me too. So I decided to give us another chance by calling him and apologizing the next day, suggesting we work it out. But he was so uncertain after the talk, constantly asking me if I love him and how I feel, a question I couldn't answer, because I don't know what does 'love' even mean. Anyway a month and half later, he asked me the same question again: do you love me? And I couldn't answer. So we broke up.
I still miss him and the memories we had, part of me wants to call him and be together, but part of me tells me there are reasons for the breakup. Any advice thanks?

Updates:
I still miss him and the memories we had, part of me wants to call him and be together, but part of me tells me there are reasons for the breakup. Any advice thanks?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are correct, everyone is flawed in different ways. It sounds like he is in love with you and he needs you to be able to express it. When you have a breakup talk, it can't be taken as a minor thing. I don't think you getting back together with him is a good idea at this point. You need to be able to know if this is love or not and if not, move on. I always try to see my partner as a best friend, do they carry those qualities? Do I feel like I can trust them with anything? If I don't see these things, I'm not interested.

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    • I agree. I cut off all contacts with him and giving myself time to think. I trust him with everything; but he doesn't carry some of the main qualities that I'm looking for in partner, which I thought he was able to change. I don't know if this is love or what is love.

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What Guys Said 2

  • that there is a reason for break up - is i social bull shit, an advice being given when really bad staff happens, like cheating, marriage to a different person, etc. In your case do what feels good. Do what your gut feeling tells you to do!!! and in my opinion if you want him back, really want, then do it.

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  • What advice are you asking for exactly? I am a bit confused. Are you asking us to interpret your emotions for him, how to deal with this situation, or what do we think of his actions?

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    • Thanks for the replay. I don't know what are my emotions for him, and how to deal with this situation.

What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like a great guy, I'd suggest going back out with him, & just trying to be the best person you can be. We are all flawed, so instead of focusing on how imperfect you are, do your best, & just enjoy your guy.

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