When a woman asks for space in this way what is she really saying?

I reunited with a long lost love from 22 years ago earlier this year. We both professed our love for each other and that we have both missed each other and never got over one another all those years. We were serious back then but she was young 22 and I was 33 at the time and I discovered I wasn't ready to actually commit yet which is what she wanted. She moved to a different state and we lost touch. Fast forward to 2014 and I found her on Facebook and we rekindled our romance and are engaged. We are in a LDR and she's in another state. We know each other very well and love each other very much but she has been through some tough times and as a result she's learned to depend or rely solely on herself. The place she currently lives in with her daughters is a place we picked and furnished "together" as I had a say in where and what etc. She is an amazing home maker and a hard worker. She suffers from migraines. Very complex and severe to the point of getting sick etc. On the week of the August 18th we rarely spoke or texted because she was having migraines and when we did overall it was ok. I felt isolated and freaked out and it triggered PTSD (I'm a combat vet) and we were struggling in our communications. It did mellow some on the 20th and she sent me a great ecard that morning telling me how much she loved me etc. which really made my day. Later I explained and I missed her badly and couldn't wait to be with her I was and she replied that she totally disagreed stating that she thinks the physical is very important, which completely misinterprets what I meant to say and she was upset with that. I reached out to her and told her I love her I care and she texted back that she needed time to re-evaluate herself, was going to take some much needed time to be with her girls, wasn’t liking life so much and that right now it was about her. I haven’t been in touch with her since (that was this Saturday 8/23). Any thoughts?
  • Is this a break up?
    Vote A
  • Really just space
    Vote B
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Yes I agree I need to give her space and I have not contacted her for a week at all. Today I left a brief whatsapp voice message telling her I was thinking about her and wondering how she was doing and now I'm back to focusing on things on my end.
I've also changed my plans from moving to her state to moving to another which is driving distance to her, and hopefully taking things slower for everyone's sake.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Go surprise her. Have a daycation for you guys both to relax. You taking effort shows how much you are in this not only for her physically but her emotionally

  • From what you described, it seems to me that you are depending on her for emotional security. LDR are hard, I understand that. I've been through that myself. Sometimes you want to talk and the other person doesnt. Sometimes you want to see them and you cant. Sux!

    But, You have to find your happy place in this relationship. She told you she needs space. She knows that when she centers herself (whether with her family or herself alone) she'll feel better and you should do the same. Do not depend on her to make you happy instead do things that make you happy within reason e. g. if you enjoy walking in park, then walk.. if you enjoy having a beer with your buddies, then do it.

    I understand you miss her but you also gotta give her some space.
    Space is not necessarily a bad thing. For mature, working individuals with a life... space is a must I think. She'll come back when she feels better Im sure.


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