Ex says he still loves me? 'Checks' on me? Why?

Ex says he still loves me, stops by to 'check' on me, acts like the house is still his (doesn't knock, makes himself at home, etc) and does undercover 'drive bys'... But says we 'can't be together right now'. He knows I would like to continue seeing him (but not live together) and develop our individual lives more in the meantime. He doesn't share this desire so we rarely communicate unless it's about things he has here to pick up. I've taken the break-up a lot harder and when he stops by, I calmly express my sadness that he's left and that I miss him. He seems perfectly fine. I finally told him that he's no longer welcome to stop by since his behavior strings me on and prolongs the break-up process. What is his real motive with hanging on but not committing? Please be honest because it helps me a lot. Thanks!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your ex is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to put himself out there in the dating pool but keep you on the sideline just in case it doesn't work out for him. Basically, you are his safety net in case he doesn't find something better (in his mind of course, I'm not saying you aren't a catch). Him saying, "I love you" is basically him making sure you tag along long enough while he plays his game. He will string you along as long as you allow it. I honestly don't think he is one to be waiting around for.

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    • That was my exact thought too!! Thanks SO much for the confirmation, that will really help me to not get caught up.

    • No problem.

What Girls Said 1

  • because he still has feelings for you , and boys are selfish , they never want you to get over them but still they would get bored and need sometime alone to chill around , so my advice if you want him back is to insist on not seeing him and i am sure he will feel like wanting you back after a little while , but it can take longer sometime , so at this time you just focus onto getting better by yourself , good luck

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