Ex boyfriend completely ignored me after break up?

I was in a long distance relationship for 6 months. We met in person and fell for each other quickly and and he was considering moving to my country to continue his studies.

We argued a lot and I realiseed that we weren't right for each other. During our fights I said things that hurt his self-esteem and ego and I completely regret that. I apologised profusely and he accepted my apologies. A few weeks later we ended up fighting again (both our fault) and I knew I had to end it. He agreed saying "maybe we should end it then". Walking away was the hardest thing. But this happened while I was away on holiday. I was tempted to fb message him and look at his profile but I knew it wasn't a good idea. I would have deactivated my account but I use fb to message friends so I decided to block him right after our call.

He never tried to contact me through text, email etc and a week later I unblocked him on fb, and emailed him apologising for the way things ended and explained that I blocked him to allow myself time to heal. He never replied.

A month later I asked him to send me my stuff back and he refused sending me a hateful email calling me selfish and that he owes me nothing. I also realised he blocked me on fb (he never blocks/deletes anyone). Plus we weren't fb friends, my profile is private and I never post anything I only private message friends. I don't get why he would have gone to the trouble to block me.

A month after that I texted him asking how he is (he has slight depression/anxiety) and he replied a day later saying he's doing alright and that I don't need to worry about him anymore. I told him I still care, want to be friends and that I will still be there for him if he needs me. He never replied although he's seen the msg.

I really miss him as a friend. Why would he ignore me? I feel like he never cared/liked me because of this. He said if we were to ever break up he'd still want me in his life yet after we broke up he ignores me completely.

Updates:
It has been over 2 months since we broke up

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not really out of the ordinary, you said that you hurt his self-esteem and ego. I'm positive that superseded what he thought when he made that promise. I'm sorry for being blunt, but you burned that bridge when you burned his self-esteem.

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    • I think you might be right. It was something I honestly regret and I apologised so many times for hurting him with what I said coz I never meant them. I didn't know what to do to make him feel better again. We were still together after that incident... If I had truly burned that bridge at the time then I don't get why we were still together for another month afterwards...

    • Believe me, us guys are notorious at keeping or true feelings hidden and bottle up inside. It just peaked after you two broke up, and you did block him immediately after that, maybe he thought that you didn't want to be friends with him after all.

    • I emailed him explaining that I only blocked him to try and heal from the break up. Although I was the one breaking up, I still very much cared and had feelings for him. I didn't want to do it but I knew we weren't right for each other. So I was hoping that the email would have helped him to see that I didn't block him coz I wanted him out of my life. I also unblocked him after the first week. I know it was harsh but I was so heartbroken from the break up. I feel like he hates me and I still can't believe that everything went downhill a month after I went to visit him. I still hope we will be in each other's lives one day but I don't know how to talk to him when we are long distance.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm sorry but I just have to reply to this and I don't mean anything bad.
    If you still had feelings for him and cared for him then why break up? It doesn't make sense because two people aren't right for each other when it feels like that not when you still care. Only two options either you cared enough to stay or didn't enough and left simple equation.
    Second thing is a woman that he loves breaking a guys heart that's a huge deal. Maybe not a lot of guys talk about it like women do but maybe because it hurts so much. And recovering from this is really hard. Only two ways if a guy meats a great better woman that won't hurt him and he'll forget about the other one but you're still out of the picture for ever or if she comes back and makes things right. Like showing him she cares a lot more than he even thought and that she screwed up big time. Only way to fix his self confidence.
    A girl hurt me like this just last year. She told me she loved me cared for me and I gave her my heart then she dumped but said she still cared for me. Then after a couple of months came back crying she wanted another chance and of course I gave it to her and she hurt me again even more because she told me she loved me even more and then walked out on me because we apparently weren't right for each other or some bs like that. It really broke me and I was a mess for months and I still am sometimes. I still have feelings for her and I wish everything was fine but the trough is I guess if she cared enough she wouldn't have hurt me like this. So I guess another failed relationship to scratch on the wall even though we both had never felt this way about anybody. I guess with her it was bs. She showed up a week ago in front of my face and I ignored her because I was so hurt and later I was so angry at her I broke something. See what I mean about being a big deal?
    Good luck and I hope you care enough to try and fix him.

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    • Hi backspace I'm sorry for what happened to you. My relationship with my ex was actually really good long distance. There was only a 2 hour difference so we messaged each other all day every day. We always stayed in touch. But things only went downhill when I went to the states for my solo backpacking trip. The bigger time difference and bad internet connection really took a toll. I was away for 3 months and things started to go downhill in the first month. We had problems but I realized during my trip that he hates conflicts. He always would avoid them whereas I just want to talk about our issues and solve them. He wanted to pretend they don't exist and continue on being happy. Well our issues started to pile up and I just couldn't pretend things were ok. I pleaded with him to try and solve things together but he refused to. Our fights dragged on for weeks until I finally decided to end it. Even though I loved him I couldn't be with someone who deals with issues that way.

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    • I guess it's sort of different in your case coz your ex keeps giving you mixed signals. I guess you're going to have to come to the realization that she's not right for you in order to start moving on and hopefully give love another shot with someone new? :/

    • I get it. The problem is that most of the time women want to keep the guy around and let's be realistic more than anything it has to do with the fact that it's easier to cope with somebody there because then they can say oh he's doing fine and I didn't hurt him. I'm not saying this is in your case. But that's how it is most of the time unfortunately you can't have it both ways. Either you're friends and not lovers but going back to friends from lovers is sometimes impossible because it gives the impression that you don't care enough and nobody want's that. Me and my long term ex did it because we were over each other even before we broke up and are now really good friends.
      Yeah she's giving me really mixed signals. I don't know how I can move on but I know I've changed and not for the better. The best thing would be for her to come back and sort stuff out. But I guess it's just wishful thinking.

  • You broke up with him, He doesn't seem to have problem with it. Must be banging other chick while we speak lol But really If I was in his place, Id have just never replied lol

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  • Give the poor guy a break, he's trying to get over you and he doesn't want to be your friend.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I am sorry for your heartache, the break up, but I can tell you there would Be plenty and then More with LDR... I am in one with a husband out in Egypt. He found me 3 years ago on FB and I went to him, where 3 months later after returning, I returned to him, where we had tied the knot at the Ministry of Justice. I stayed for awhile and then later came back to the states.
    We have had Many ups and downs in our marriage and most my fault. We have had many a break up and with this the Make up, always ending back with one another. This is true love, I call it Unconditional love, for the thousands time we have been apart, there are millions more that have followed in finding a way to hang on and try and work it out.
    You may have done him some injustice, you both may have had a few bitter encounters, and with deleting and blocking, which my husband and myself are always used to doing, Including Skype, it all boils down to the Individual and what is in their heart. And some people hold a grudge until their dying day, don;t trust anyone until they take their last breath, and Move on, shutting you Out altogether.
    My husband has told me a zillion times he doesn't believe what I say to him anymore. We have even tried the 'friends' factor. He says I always say I am coming back to Egypt, but still haven't returned, and he still accuses me of Cheating because he always feels somehow I am with others. It has Been Me who has given him these ill feelings, me who has put a monkey wrench in between our marriage, but Now instead of Expecting his Love to Continue forever, Expect his respect, I have to prove myself, Earning it, Not Expecting it.
    I am sorry he never gave you a chance to do this, nor trusts you anymore, nor even wants to be in LDR... It's hard... And even being friends, which he appears is too much for him to endure, shows me he gave up too easily, never put enough time and patience into this relationship, which One needs, and on.
    Good luck. xx

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    • I am glad I got a chance just Now to see this for you... But even though it's been 2 months, you never know what will come about on the other end and he could at least befriend you... my husband and myself have gone 2 months with no contact, and I end up shooting him a How are you? And he will respond with a Hi and then it begins all over again...:)) xx

  • He's ignoring you because he doesn't want to be friends with you. Just leave him be.

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  • Leave the guy alone. It's over, move on. You don't owe each other anything and the fact it's bothering you so much indicates that you clearly aren't over it. Losing a good friend is often the hardest part of a breakup but an unavoidable consequence in most cases. This is life. Deal with it. Learn from your mistakes.

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