How to break it to him?

I've been with a guy for the past 5 months, and he adores me. The thing is though, that recently I have realised he isn't the guy for me. He drinks excessively, he takes hard drugs socially, and he is incredibly aggressive.
I am planning to move a fair distance away, he assumes I am going to be staying in the area close to him. I know this is a deal breaker for him, and I don't really care.
I just don't know how to tell him! Partly I am scared of his reaction, and partly I hate upsetting/hurting people.
He is currently working away, but I don't know if telling him over the phone is right, especially if he is working.
How do I do it? HELP!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If u are afraid he will hurt you. Have someone there (in another room may work). Just someone who can dial 911 in case needed. If not consider having a ck in time. Hey Susie I'm breaking it off with Johnny. If u don't hear from me in 30 minutes call he police.

    Be quick, clean, polite. Don't get ugly even if he baits you. Just stick to we are heading in opposite directions. We had some great times but we can't make this work on our current paths. I have a job. I have to move. This is best for both of us. Try to sidestep inflammatory issues of alcohol and drugs. You're not his mommy. He should know better. If he asks be honest. But be careful. Stand your ground. Cut him quick, clean, with dignity and respect. If for no one else other than you so you can know you left with your head held high.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Set up an Up close and Personal meeting of the minds with him, sweetie. It's Better for you in finding the kindest words to-------Let him down as easy as you can.
    Tell him you are moving and you think it best for him while you are gone, to Focus on himself with his 'Own problems,' and that you would like to remain----Just friends.
    Yes, he will be heartbroken, yes, he will feel sad, maybe shed a few tears, but take his hand and tell him you have been doing some serious soul searching, and you feel this is what would be Best----For everyone.
    Being with someone who has a bad habit, a serious problem is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with. And I also feel that someone like yourself can't Continue to be an Enabler for him, and if he really cared enough about you, he wouldn't caused this---Deal breaker himself.
    I also believe that if you had real feelings for him, this LDR would not have been so much the problem, but with his Problem child problems they were more than you would ever had wanted to endure. You are doing the right thing.
    Good luck, God bless. xx

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you have any reason to be scared of his reaction it is best you do it from a distance. No sense in putting yourself in danger for a breakup. Sounds like he won't take it well no matter how you do it, so do it in the safest way for yourself.

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  • He's adorable, on a more serious note, you have 3 known choices. Just leave. Or have your friends be there with you when you tell him or call him over the phone. Which is pathetic. If you really have a problem have another person tell him for you. Hell, I'll tell him for you.

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  • You have to politely tell him, don't wait.

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  • i'd tell him sooner than later. the longer you leave it the worse it will be. Seeing he's aggressive you don't want to drag it on. He's going to notice things changing and know something is up.

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    • He has already picked up that something is up. I was waiting for him to come home so I can tell him personally, but that day is tomorrow and I am freaking right out.
      I am supposed to call him soon, and I think I will just have to tell him over the phone, so that he doesn't come home tomorrow for no reason. The pressure he puts on me is incredibly overwhelming. We are at different stages of life; I'm a single mother of 2 and he is a party guy. It was supposed to be something casual but he is moving far too fast, despite me trying so hard to out on the brakes, several times. It's like he already thinks he is the step father to my kids already, when all I want is a companion when I have time away from the kids, nothing serious at all!

What Girls Said 1

  • Make a cheese sandwich or anything else you really enjoy eating.. Eat it in front of him and say ''See this? I love this but I simply don't love or like you anymore, I'm sorry'' then walk away.

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