Have you ever told someone to stop contacting you when really deep down inside you wanted to see them and speak to them?

This guy and I haven't spoken in months. We were seeing each other and I really liked him a lot, but he's bad for me. I want a commitment and he doesn't. He wanted to just be friends, but then wouldn't let me move on and date other guys, and then started to lead me on. After 2 years of him stringing me along, and me unable to date anyone, I cut him off 5 months ago. He has contacted me 3 times in the past 5 months. The last time he contacted me I told him to stop contacting me, I'm over him, I have no feelings for him anymore. Then I blocked his phone #.

But I've been so sad since because deep down inside I still love him and miss him so much. But I know he's bad for me. IT's like my heart wants him and is struggling to be with him, but my brain is like NO NO NO.

Has anyone felt like this? When does it get better?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was going to say you are playing games with him, but after reading that, I would say you are right.

    He isn't mature enough to be your mate. (I am talking about for life. Not a few months.)

    He strings you on, yet acts jealous. Jealousy stems from an inability to fully dedicate himself to you, giving you his all- so he knows there's an emtpiness there- an emptiness he is afraid another man will fill. Big warning sign.

    Every
    single
    one

    of us enjoys attention. Especially if it's romantic. Even when we hate it- we enjoy it. It's flattering.

    You miss that... That's all. There was nothing there. Your heart is playing games with you. It will do that. It's your heart.

    They key is to listen to your instincts. Your gut. God gave them to you for a reason. They are NEVER wrong. Right now, they are saying, "What the heck are you doing? Dry those tears and move on! He'll only leave you hurt, and alone!" Which is true.

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    • Thanks so much. I thought that maybe if he came back and wanted a commitment only then will I give him a chance, but that hasn't been the case thus far. So I had that little hope that he would come back wanting to be with me for sure. But I guess you're saying I shouldn't bother ever with him?

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    • Thanks. You are right there are a few qualities that he has that I think would cause us many problems in the future. I'm just missing him so much that I keep forgetting those things.. it's like months later I still have the rose colored glasses on. or I didn't for a while but then he started contacting me again and it's brought me back to square one. Thanks for your help :)

    • You will be okay, I promise. Be strong!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, I've done this many times. Even now, its the case with a girl who is (or used to be) my good friend. We didn't have feelings for each other, but still she friendzoned me. I personally consider being friendzoned as the biggest insult and the worst form of humiliation, so i told her not to contact me anymore. But I really do want to talk to her.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I've done this to an ex-friend. I feel that I miss her and I know she misses me too but it's not going to work out because she's too sellfish to apologise. Your feelings may pass over the time. If not, contact him but it should be your last choise.

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    • yeah I'm trying my best to just let it go...

    • try harder :) you're stronger than you think. go on dates with others, meet new people. It'll be fine after all. :)

  • Im going through the same thing right now. It's good to know it's not only me.

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    • lol I'm glad it's not just me either. does your guy keep contacting you too?

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    • oh that's hard. I worry about bumping into him, but hopefully I won't

    • good luck.. I'm sure we both need it

  • I've done the same. I had a friend who I dated and she sort of made me her excuse for not dating her ex, rather than just being with me because she loved me. And even then she wouldn't stop talking to him. So we broke up, but I couldn't bear not talking to her. Then when she started college she sort of replaced me with her new friends. She would say that she missed talking to me but would read and ignore several of my text messages, and I didn't text every day. I figured backing off would work, but no. So I basically told her that if she was going to treat me like She didn't care, I wouldn't care. And I honestly did it because I expected after some time that she would apologize and say that she didn't want to lose me as a friend. But then I remembered that people always take me for granted so I lost hope a long time ago. It's hard to let go of someone you cared for, especially when you thought they cared for you. But what you miss is that feeling, not them. Who's to say if you continued to talk to each other he wouldn't just string you along again? I learned the hard way that people don't change, definitely not for the better. People are selfish. You just have to learn to let the selfish ones go and realize that you're worth someone genuinely caring for you and wanting to be there for you. It's hard to get over, but think how much better it will be when you find someone you're important to.

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    • Thanks and you're so right. What hurts so much is that I really thought he cared about me, he acted like he did, but it was all fake. He is really selfish and I don't believe he'll change either. I gave him many chances so I don't expect anything to get better.

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    • you're so right. how he treats those close to him is how he'll treat me.
      we were friends for a year before we started seeing each other so it really sucks the way it turned out

    • That's the only thing that sucks. When you know someone and then all of a sudden they act like a jackass. People are awful like that sometimes.

  • It has happened to me and it's so hard. In the end never strong enough and I end up caving in and answering. The sad part is that I know he isn't good for me and that it will never end up being a relationship but I can't stop loving him or wanting him in my life.

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    • lol the only time I ended up caving and answering was to tell him to stop contacting me. I know how you feel :(

    • I wish i was that brave but I can't even do that :(

    • I did it and I totally regret it now... I miss him so much :(
      but I have no choice but to keep moving on

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