How can you love someone but then it's so easy to walk away?

Out of hurt I broke up with my BF. Obviously, I love him so I tried reaching out. Its been a week and he has literally not responded to any of my calls, text or FB inboxes. Do you think he was never in love with me, thats why it's so easy for him to just be done? Or can he just really be hurt & needs space?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he's over you. He may have never loved you. He may have THOUGHT he loved you, but now that he's single again, he realizes he didn't.

    It also sounds like you had a pretty nasty break up over trust issues. Sad to say, but the relationship is over and you need to move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have found with myself that no matter how many times, with breaking up and making up, that my husband out in Egypt and myself always seem to find that Love brings us back to where we first started. And there have been even a few months in between, with much needed space, some soul searching, just finding out if the missing and kissing were Still in our hearts, and as of today, anyways---It is, and stronger than ever. This is what I call----Unconditional love, sweetie.
    If it is a new break up, then don't fret just yet. Give him time to think, time to sulk, time to do some soul searching of his own right now. And for however long it may take, I believe that if this guy loves you, cares about you, and is 'Missing the kissing,' he will come back and talk things over with you.
    However, if he decides it's not worth his time, then he was never a Keeper, so do not be a---Weeper, he was Not worth Your Time to begin with. Just move on then.
    Good luck. xx

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    • I feel you had good reason or would not have done this... xx

    • Do you think a relationship can get worse before it gets better? When we first met, which was long distance, everything was perfect despite the fact we were complete opposites. The problems now always occur when we are apart. I feel like im very forgiving and forgets easily but he doesnt. I do something he doesn't like and now he's done. How can he love me but when I hurt him out of hurt in the moment, he can't forgive me? If it's already bad, do you think it can ever get better?

    • Sometimes it does get 'worse' before it can get better, but in order for Anything to be on an even keel, be complete, it takes two people to make it Full circle Together. I am long distance with my husband in Egypt and ever since the lazy day I boarded to come home to the states, it's been ups and downs because he never believes me when my Intentions are there to come back, for it Has gotten worse over in the Middle East, as we all know... and I was a cheater besides. So being apart can be a problem. Yes, I am more forgiving, my husband is more Remembering, however he has learned from me how to forgive, but won't---Ever forget. I have to prove myself first... There are people out there who are grudge bearers by nature, I know a few in my own life, but if he has it in him, he may or may not forgive, and even if you reunite tomorrow, he may never forget, even if he forgives... And he may even be the type who will throw it in your face every time there's a problem.. For now, just time..

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What Guys Said 6

  • You Broke Up With Him So More Than Likely He Is Deeply Hurt, I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, Leave Him Alone & Stop Talking To Him, If He Is Ignoring You Then All You Can Do Is Accept It, You Made Your Bed So Lie In It...

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  • It isn't easy. It is just the best way to move on. Keeping in touch tends to make moving on more difficult.

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  • You broke up the guy and you've broken his heart in the process. Yes, you are no doubt hurting as well, but you've more than likely caused more hurt to this guy and he's probably angry, bitter, confused, jaded and frustrated. He probably been smashed so hard with a proverbial brick that right now he doesn't know what planet he is on.

    So pardon him for suffering alone in silence or in the confines of his friend and close family members, but the guy owes you nothing in return. You've reached out to him and at this moment in time he's unwilling to reciprocate and you just have to get over it.

    It doesn't mean he never loved you, but most men with an ounce of self-respect and a spinal cord will walk away from a girl that's ditched them, will instigate no contact, will get over that person and will find someone better.

    Your question strikes me of someone who only thinks about themself and nobody else and no guy deserves to end up with a woman like that.

    So I hope he's on the mend and out looking for better women. Go champion!

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    • I like your advice because I can understand how men think but to say I'm only thinking of myself, if only you knew the type of relationship we had you probably wouldn't be saying that. This is the 1st relationship I've ever been & I feel hard for this man. Because of my beliefs, no matter how bad he treated me, I promised I would change anything & everything to make it work. But after a while enough becomes enough. Even though my mind is saying move on, my heart misses him. I forgave him for cheating, leaving for days and not comin back, ignoring calls and texts for no reason. But the second I say I can't take this he leaves & doesn't turn back. Yea im dumb for reaching out. But he said he loved me, and my question was if he really did, how is it so easy to walk away & not look back? Dont say im thinking of myself because u weren't in our relationship. But anyways thanks for the advice. Because the way he is, he probably thinks just like u. So ill move on cause it's for the best.

    • Then be glad that you've been strong enough not to tolerate such mistreatment and go and find someone else who will respect you and love you.

      I commend you for walking away because it takes courage to do that.

  • He's probably at least a little hurt and needs time and some space. Or, he's recognized that you're done and over with, and some people need to just avoid you for a little while.

    It's rare when exes can get back together and have everything be better than it was. It's usually better for a small while... and then you recall why you broke up in the first place. Maybe he's just done, and recognizes he needs to try to move on.

    Or... he's really busy, and really happy about the breakup. Sometimes that happens, and it's possible... though that's not as likely to be the case.

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  • He probably needs space.

    Also depends on the terms of the break up. What was it over?

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    • We had got into a big argument because someone lied and said they seen me hugged up with another man. He said he didn't believe them but when he ignored me for a day without responding to any of my texts or calls I assumed he did believe them. I flipped out & he came from outta town and moved his belongings out. He still had a key & would pop when he needed a place to go. He said we werent together anymore but would still come to the house and sleep at night. 1 day he's not speaking & he's mad then the next day he's lovey dovey. I felt like he was playing with my emotions & I took his key & said I couldnt do this anymore. Obviously, I was hurt and at the moment I really felt that way. But he's my 1st everything & I miss him. But he won't speak to me. I told him to come back home & after ignoring me for days he finally responded to that message & he said its not his home & he's done with me. Does that seem like he never loved me?

    • You seriously flipped out on him for not responding to your text or calls for a day? Did you just assume he believed the stories and flipped out on him the moment you got in contact with him or did you bother to sit down and ask what the matter is like an adult?

    • When he called and asked me, I was confused. I didn't understand why someone would lie. So when I started asking why somebody would lie and if he believes them, he hung up on me. I tried callin him back and textin, he didn't respond. I gave it a day then I tried again late the next night. He finally answered said something and hung up. I didn't hear what he said so I called back. He answered yelling " what the f*** do u want, give me 10 min". And he hung up again. I felt disrespected so I flipped out over text messages. And said some very disrespectful things back. Im very forgiving because I hate letting anger built up. It hurts that he doesn't forgive easily. He doesn't see what he did. He only see's my actions. After that he said we werent together. But even after he moved his clothes and stuff out he still came, sleeping with me. So im thinking every things good. But I guess they werent. He still felt like that was his house and thats why he kept the key.

  • It's called the no contact rule. Give him a month he's trying to fix himself

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    • After a month, if neither of us reach out, I would like to believe its better to just leave the past behind and move on.

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