How can I accept that I was used and move on?

I was with a guy who really just wanted me for sex.

He told me a lot of lies and what I wanted to hear. I was naiive and I believed what he told me. I trusted him and I thought he wouldn't lie to me.

He told me such nice things- like about how much he cares about me, how great of a girl I am, how attractive I am, how good of a match we are, why I'm a girl he would like to date, etc.

I just believed him. And he was spending so much time with me. I really thought he liked me.

I'm just so confused because the guy I thought he was is clearly not who he is. the person I met and the person I broke up with are completely different.

Every single one of my friends tells me that he is a jerk who was just trying to get some and that he manipulated me. But I feel attached and I can't believe he would do something like that.

How can I get over this? It is bothering me a lot.

I find myself justifying his behavior and trying to make him out as a good guy and I'm blaming myself for being stupid and wasting my time with him.

Does anyone have advice? I would really like to feel better.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The best thing you can do for yourself right now, once you get past the twisted emotions, is look back at everything you remember feeling when you were around him.

    Not the good emotions...

    But the warning.

    It was there. It's called your gut instincts.

    And it was telling you... He only wants you for your body.

    Isolate that voice, the words of caution- and never forget them. Yes, it will go against what your heart desperately wants to believe. It will fight you when you are looking at some new guy... Telling you he's no good. When you want to think he's perfect.

    One day, your heart and your instincts will tell you the same thing, and that is when you need to listen.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's not you, it's him. It's not your fault. Anyone can be taken in by a psychopath. If you want to read about such people, the top book is The Psychopath by Dr Robert Hare. If you don't want to read a whole book about such people, you can read one of the author's many articles on the web.

    You have learned from this experience and have become a wiser judge of human character, and in that case you've gained much more than you've lost. We learn a bit from everyone we meet. You will meet many more people, hopefully, and the more you meet the greater insight you will gain about people.

  • well in this case the best thing i can suggest you to move on.

    but its really hard to move on alone with out any companion.

    it will good if you find someone very reliable who understands you even he getss all the time before you say anything.

    this time you get a guy whome you can find the right guy for you... because its impossible moving on alone... you will find yourself frustrated.

    try to forget your past and look forward for a fresh start ... but...

    dont ever compare your new friend with your past one... try to find out the positive side of your new friend.


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