Does he still care, is he hurt or does he really hate me?

I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago. We dated for a year and for the most part it was a good relationship. The last couple of weeks something was off. I'd back away then he'd back away. We tried to talk about something being off but I think in the end I got frusterated and broke it off. I think I was afraid that he was acting distant because he was going to break up with me ir that liked someone else. I'm pretty sure now neither of these were true. I broke up with him over the phone. He seemed shocked, like he didn't see it coming. I regret breaking up the way I did. It was stupid and insensitive of me but I was afraid. I tried to talk to him a few days after the break up but it just ended up being a long heated discussion.
I tried texting him a week later and eventually called him. I wanted to take ownership for my part in the break-up , something I had not done in the previous conversation. He wouldn't answer my texts so I was surprised when I finally called him that he picked up the phone. He barely spoke 2 words to me but did listen to what I had to say and then hung up. Before we hung up I told him I wouldn't contact him again.
We are back in school now and it's very ackward. He won't speak to me or look at me directly. Although I do catch him staring at me and looking at me in classes. One of his friends told me my ex was "really out of it" but that he was " pretty mad". The friend also asked me if I would ever date my boyfriend in the future. I wondered if he was asking out of curiosity or because my ex was curious.
He just began to take our pictures down off his social networks. He only took down a couple of the more recent ones. I took all mine down a couple of weeks ago.
I really loved this guy and miss him as my friend and would consider dating in the future. I have stuck to not contacting/trying to talk to him. How do know if he still loves me and if he might want to date me again in the future? Is there hope?
I found out he's dating another girl and I saw them at the mall together. It was awkward. I found out he liked her when we were dating. I'm just trying to hang out with my friends and do good in school. I'm done with guys for a while.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You fucked up, instead of flying off the handle with your crazy reaction to his aloofness during the last few weeks of you guys dating, you should have just asked him what was wrong. I don't really know what happened but it seemed to me you just got scared and broke off the relationship on a hunch. Now both of you guys are sad, you are the one that needs to fix this, and he needs to express his feelings when he's down.

    Personally I think you're a shady bitch for what you did, but you guys are young so it's understandable.

    • Yeah I did mess up, I'll own that. We did try to talk but then I got scared and broke it off. He told me afterwards that he never had any intention of breaking up with me. So tell me how I'm supposed to fix this if he won't talk to me? Or how do I know if he even wants to fix it?

    • You just need to talk with him with sincerity about the what happened and how you felt and why you did what you did. Tell him how you were scared because he was seeming distant recently. You clearly had no idea what was happening did so you did what any scared or worried girlfriend would do.
      You gonna have to tell him that you still wanna be with him and you love him and you're sorry. Basically have that intimate conversation with him that you know you need to have. Try to even make him laugh.

      Remember to make sure he knows that the break up was a mistake and misunderstanding.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • There Is A Possibility You Guys Can Start Dating Again In The Future, I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, Right Now You Need To Forget About It, You Can't Force A Relationahip Back So Dont Try, You Broke Up With Him So More Than Likely He Is Hurr, Stop Contacting Him & Also Allow Your Feelings & Emotions To Die...

  • There may be hope but all you can do is wait. You've apologized and told him your side of the story. The rest is in his hands.

  • You are both very young. The lesson here is that communication is everything and you must not assume anything. When you discussed it with him it was not so bad but he was hurt. Let him heal and always be nice to him. It was a misunderstanding but anything can happen in the future.
    Enjoy life and dont worry about this. You learnt a lesson and we all survive and ideally remain friends because in the future it is good to have friends that you can trust.
    If he wants to talk about it some time then that is fine but dont worry about it right now. School is important and you only get one shot. Boyfriends will come and go.

  • You left him. What's done is done. Move on and don't have hope.


What Girls Said 1

  • Please, just focus in your studies and not in other boys... If he wants you back, he will make a move. Patience!

    • I do focus on my studies and am a really student. I'm trying to be patient about all this just don't know what's a normal time to wait before I give up hope?

    • Many, many things can happen while you wait. Maybe one day you just wake up and realized you're busy doing something new and that you really like to do, and the boy is not in your priorities anymore. Keep being patience!

Recommended myTakes