What does she have that I don't? Why am I obsessing over her and how do I stop?

I was seeing this guy for 2 years but he didn't want a commitment so I cut him off. Then he got into a relationship with another girl now they've been together for 6 months. He has contacted me several times since but I ignore him because I know he is in a relationship (I don't have him on FB but I can see his account through a friend's account and he is in a relationship, and I can see her page too).

It's just made me really sad and it makes me wonder what she has that I don't. She seems really bland and boring. They don't even have photos together and the photos i did see of them together (there's like 2 or 3) they look like they don't even like each other. they look bored

Now Im stupidly obsessed with her. I know I'm prettier than her and I think I have a fun personality. I just don't get it. And even since he's been dating her he's tried to contact me several times. I had to block his phone #, then he resorted to emailing me and iMessaging me from his email address. Which I ignore

why is he still contacting me? I did respond one time asked him what he wants. he said he wants to be friends and really wants me in his life. I thought maybe he wasn't happy with her and realized what he misses (me) but that wasn't the case.

now i feel horrible and its really affecting my self esteem :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you know what I think the big difference is, she wanted the exact thing you wanted but she didn't tie "commitment" to it. she just let it happen naturally and the "commitment" happened naturally and now is pushing on to 6 months. when it comes to the word "commitment" guys suddenly feel like they're being trapped and they really don't like that feeling, they want their freedom all the time unless the guy is willing and ready to settle down. but I don't know why he's still contacting you, he could be telling the truth about wanting to remain friends, may have an ulterior motive, who knows?

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What Guys Said 4

  • "why is he still contacting me?" You actually answered your own question. "he didn't want a commitment". You did the right thing by cutting him off and ignoring him. Now he's with another girl, and he isn't committed to her either. It's not a question of what she has that you don't.

    DO NOT contact him. Block him on face book, quit "stalking" the other girl, and move on.

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  • Just be nice and say that you can be friends... but only one at a time.
    If he wants to have a girlfriend then he should focus on her and you do not wish to interfere, just as if you were his partner you would not want him undermining your relationship with contacts with other girls, because this is not fair on either girl.
    You only have a quality relationship when both parties stop casting around looking at other people.

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  • What is your favorite ethnic food?

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  • That's not really fair to him. He wants to be able to be friends with you, and you can't even give that to him. If you liked him, you'd be able to be friends with him

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What Girls Said 2

  • If he's that persistent about contacting you while with this other girl, then he's not really committed to her either. Maybe he jumped the gun to hold onto her since he saw how you left him for avoiding commitment, but it doesn't mean he feels or is acting any more committed. He wouldn't be trying to track down his ex (you) like he is if he really were. The problem isn't with you or with her, it's with him. He's not ready!

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  • Because he wants two girls.

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