My ex and I dont speak, but I want to be friends? Why is he avoiding me?

my ex-boyfriend and I mutually broke up around a week ago. When we just broke up, he expressed a want to maintain a form of friendship (he said I'm one of his best friends and he can't imagine not being able to speak to me). He specified that I can't be his best friend any longer, but he does want friendship. However, we go to the same school and share 4 classes together (yep, I see him CONSTANTLY). in general my school is pretty small, so even during free periods I see him around. He doesn't speak to me at all. honestly, he doesn't even acknowledge me. I don't think he looks at me in class (at least, not as much as I glance over at him...), and during a free period we both spend in the library twice a week, he acts like I don't even exist. But yeah, the point is that we're strangers to one another. We've directly spoken to one another twice since we broke up, but only because I approached him in a state of raw emotion, and every time he seemed annoyed/discomforted. He seems great in class and when he's with his friends... he's always joking around and saying clever things... it makes me miss him all the more, and I feel it's a shame we don't even speak to each other. He said he wants space until he feels "back to normal," and that we can be friends, just "not right now." Is this just his way of coping? Is it normal that he's avoiding me? I honestly don't know if this kind of avoidance is normal... it feels like he wants nothing to do with me, but yet he says he does want to be friends?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • first of all i would like to say... its really impossible to be a friends... after a break up..

    because you got to a relationship from friendship, you cannot go revese... thats impossible...

    let me explain why... 1. relationship is all about love , possessiveness, conservativeness...

    now the thing once you have already started to do with smeone, after that you cannot get to a friendship...

    the reason you bou friend doennt wnt to talk with you, cz he wants to move on and its quite impossible to be a friend after breakup, because the situation is not the same as before...

    please forgive me for poor grammar

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    • just think can you tollerate you bf speaking with other girls, or getting closer with other girls... and even cannot restrict him because, now you people are friends, you dnt have rights to do so... so its better to leave him alone... and please move on... you are gonna good good good guy, who will love more them him... i pray.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i'm going to give you my professional unlicensed opinion, until or if he wants to talk there is nothing you can do, just live your life as if he was never in, it will be hard at first but over time you'll feel better, trust me...

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What Girls Said 3

  • you're not going to be able to be friends right away. Its impossible unless you gunna s werent in a relationship at all.

    Now the way he is acting does seem to be his way of copeing with things. He might have feelings for you still and is avoiding the friendsship until they are gone.

    But let me tell you friendship after break up will be awkward/weird. Most of the time people end up dating again then breaking yp again with this choice.

    I dont reccomend it. Im sorry but... you're going to have to drop this friendship thing.

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  • i am having the same thing 'silent treatment'... and its been whole week..
    but i 'm not giving up... you don't give up on people you love.. right?
    i think they stil have feelings for us, that's why they don't talk... even don't reply our sms
    mine hasn't deleted me from Facebook etc..
    what about yours?
    i send one or two sms daily... without expecting any answer... hope it works... otherwise, atleaset i tried

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  • Yeah it's normal he feels weird and uncomfortable because you just broke up so he probably feels awkward too just give him time and when you see him just smile at him and don't go any further give him time and let him make the next move

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