How does stress effect girls feelings?

Ok, long story short.
The love of my life is going through a very stressfull time of her life. I am not gonna get into details, but new job and new school, and both are stressing her out a lot and there are a ton of new people in her life she needs to deal with.

Her feelings for me are now gone, and she needed to break up with me. I could tell her head was overloaded, and I felt very sorry for her. She "needed to be herself right now" because she couldńt handle anymore.
Was she happy about it? No... Was she sad about it? No...
She was basicly nothing...

She admitted she was completely in love with me. I was the love of her life. She even dreamed about moving in together and starting a life together. But now there was nothing. Nothing for anyone...
She told me she really really needed my friendship, and for me to support her through these times.
She hugged me 4 times just on my way out the door...
She keept teling me to keep in contact, but she understood if I needed time.

I had this very important interview at work, that has been underway for months. She told me "please text me how it went, ok?" - Well I "forgot" to write her... And the day after she texted me: "Hi, you didn't write yesterday, how did it go?

So girls:
My question for you: Have you been under so much stress, that your head pushed you feelings toward you BF aside? And maybe even neglect you friends, and only write short "yes/no" texts to them when they try to get in contact with you? What should I, as an ex boyfriend, do in this situration? Is she still thinking about me?

I've heard from a psychologist, that this is a very common reaction when stressed


Most Helpful Girl

  • YES I HAVE !!! Fuck the no contact bullshit !! That's mind games. Let her know that know matter what she's going through and if she's to talk to any one you're the guy to call repeat CALL NOT TEXT. (But you should text her this ) Remind her of a situation that she once told her your feelings. Then leave it at that. There's nothing to say after that. Don't expect her to say anything because HER time right now is stressful. But during this time help better yourself for you !! If she wants you she'll come !! Good luck <3

    • Nice to hear from someone who speaks from experience. You been through something like this?
      So what you are suggesting is the I dont do the No Contact, and stay in touch every now and then?

    • Show All
    • Thanks...
      I think I am going to text her tomorrow. Just something casual, see if I can get a conversation going a little. Let her know I am here for her...

    • Sounds good !! Goodluck !!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • It sucks that she's in a shitty situation but she doesn't get to have her cake and eat it too. She can't end the relationship and therefore any commitment you have to hearing about or helping her with her problems, then drag you along anyway.

    My advice: Be selfish, and tell her no contact.

    • Thanks a lot for your input.
      That is also why I "forgot" to text her the other day about my interview :)
      Its been a week now, and I am still doing the No Contact. I just reply shortly if she text me

    • Show All
    • So when my GF hits a ruff time in her life, I just run off? Sorry. can't do that.
      I can understand why she reacted the way she did...

    • She isn't your gf if you haven't noticed.

  • i have gone through this situation... and guess what, i was always doing self pity thing, than comes the victim mentality...
    if you are going to be with her, she is not going to change...
    my bf left me... and i had to deal with my issues to be with him...
    i was willing to do anything, heal anything to be with him again...

    • So you suggest I do... What? :)

    • well, if you don't want to be 'harsh' on her by leaving her alone for sometime, be with her...
      but you can inject 'positivity' in her...
      like if she is sad... you can play music (only the happy one)
      if she isn't willing to get out of bed, drop at home with flowers...
      these small things would matter alot..

      actually she is stuck in 'negativity' and 'victim mentality'...
      you have to show her that bad things happen to everyone and she is not the only one in the universe.. but if she continues to do this behavior.. she will lose you and herself..
      but don't just say that...
      do this for a week... and you will see the improvement...
      than you can continue..
      after one week, you can go on distance... it will scare her... that if she doesn't get rid of her negativity.. you would leave... its important..
      now if she actually love you... she will do anything not to lose you...
      but if she loves her 'tragic side' more than you... you won't be able to do anything for her

  • She loves you but she can't deal with anything because of the stress. When I'm overstressed I want to stay home alone and cry as much as possible. She needs time and a psycologist to help her deal the issue.

    • Thanks a lot for this reply.
      I am also very sure that the feelings are still there. The are just pushed in the background for awhile, while her head tries to deal with all these new things and all the stress

    • I think you should be there for her as she would be there for you:)

  • Although I've never had a bf, or even friends, I've had that kinda stress before. Its really difficult to see out of it, and people don't understand

    • sorry to hear that.
      In that situration, how should your love ones treat you? Stay away and dont contact you? Contact you everyday with "have a nice day" type of messages?
      How do you think you would have reacted if they ignored you and went on living their ives and being happy?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Professional Unlicensed Opinion, iDont Suggest You Trying To Be Her Friends With Her Right Now, In Case You didn't Know It's Not Possible To Become Friends With Somebody Your Still In Love With. Cut All Contact (Not To Be Mean) & Allow Your Feelings & Emotions To Settle, Trust Me !! Stress Is Not A Good Reason To Break Up With Somebody Either, I've Been Stressed Plenty But Never Had The Urge To End A Relationship.

    • Yes I know, me neither... But in this case I asked the girls, as I think they are a little bit different than us on this issue...

  • Damn, dude. I wouldn't be her emotional tampon if I were you.

    • I ain´t... Its been a week now, and I keep doing the No Contact...
      I am not ready to see other girls yet, however: I will give it a try when I feel ready

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