My ex dumped me 2 months ago because she didn't think I would make it as a lawyer, I told her to never contact me again, was I harsh or justified?

Me and my ex are both 20 she left me 2 months ago because she didn't think i was going to make it. Basically we are both at university i'm studying law and she is studying healthcare, due to lack of motivation i have lost my way a bit, i think having a girlfriend and an intense relationship like we had distracts me aswell. I have always been a straight A student i chose law because it interested me but once i started university i lacked motivation to attend class and revise for exams i found it difficult just adjusting to the work load and independence i the end i failed modules and had to repeat the entire first year.

This year it's gone better the fact that i had to repeat the year and lacked motivation has always bothered my girlfriend, she said she wanted to end things now because she doesn't believe i will make it in life, she thinks i won't make it in law and will be a dead beat husband which is absurd because as a bf i have never asked her and i looked after her took her out treated her etc so obviously i wasn't living of her.

Anyway so fundamentally that was the problem, she broke up with me once after a year came crawling back, i gave her a chance we got back together a month later she was breaking up with me for the reason about my lack of motivation, same thing happened for the 3rd time a moth later and now we have broken it of for good.

The funny thing is, she said if i end up making it in life and being successful she will hate herself because i'm perfect but she can't deal with the uncertainty about where i'm going etc, the funny thing i know my potential and who i am so i'm definitely going to make it no doubt so it's her loss.

I wrote this question to say regardless of all this i kind of miss her as a person but after writing all that and remembering all she did that has gone right out the window haha. We don't speak now anyway, the break up was quite bad i told her to never contact me again, did i make the right decision or was i harsh?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You made the right decision.. I can't believe your ex did that to you, she sounds quite heartless, i assume now that you have more then enough to motivate you now to get you to your goal.. I dont know you personally but put your mind to it and you shall achieve.. Once you are where you want to be, i hope she sees you and the person you have become.. She will "hate herself" for sure, so to speak.. Who cares man.. I'm behind you in this 👍😏

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    • Hhaha that's the aim man i want achieve my goals just to prove her wrong, thanks a lot for your help.

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    • Haha your answer was really helpful out of all the answers it kinda helped the most especially the she will hate herself part haha i was reading it and was like HELL YEAH she will haha thanks alot.

      Nice picture by the way you are very pretty and wise.

    • Thank you lovely for the MH and the kind words 😉

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What Girls Said 4

  • It wasn't harsh. You where in the right why be bothered with someone who brings up the same thing to break up with. She should've help motivate you instead of complaing about it. You'll find someone better.

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  • No that wasn't harsh at all. You just didn't want to talk to your EX anymore but just move on and have a awesome ex free life!!!

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    • Yeah glad you put EX in caps haha totally true they are called EX for a reason.

      Thanks man

  • You did right to leave her. Stick to that resolve

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  • I would have done the same as she did, but don't miss misunderstand me, I wouldn't do it in order to secure a life with someone with money, but because I can't stay with someone who is un ambitious/unmotivated.
    I have tried in the past to motivate my ex-boyfriend, give him advice, criticism. But this is so unattractive for a girlfriend to do, I understood it. I would seem like a teacher or mother, so boring. I now think that it's better to learn something to a boyfriend with gestures.
    I think that if she is ambitious and successful, show her that you can do it and be with her again. Generally a girl has to adapt herself more in a relationship and it is true that you become like the people who you spend most of your time with. While if she is not successful herself and plans to secure her life by marring someone with money, you don't need her.

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What Guys Said 5

  • No you weren't harsh and yes you made the right choice. I understand worrying about the finatial future and if things will work out. but really to break up instead of helping to motivate just bugs me to no end. if she really cared for you and not the prospect of the money you coul dmake then she would have tried to help motivate you not just run away.

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    • Thanks for your answer, yeah that's what i thought i mean when your in a relationship aren't you supposed to be there to support each other through the good and the bad times, she did try and motivate though but in the end she left so it it doesn't really mean anything everytime she would try and motivate me it would be for her own gain anyway i felt like she was only doing it so she could secure a guy with money in the future rather than helping me personally. I feel like your partner should be like your parent like parents believe in there kids 10 times more than we even believe in ourselves, if we say we can't do this your parents would be there to be like yes you can and believe in you. That's how i was with her i believed in her and supported her but i guess she didn't feel the same. Either way i don't think i was harsh i did what i needed to move on being friends with her after our break up or speaking was not an option for me, i'm on that out of sight out of mind kinda thing.

  • You were justified. She seemed more concerned with the life you could provide than with what you were dealing with. She'll find out the hard way that the life she has imagined in her head will be a far cry from life she'll lead. Let her be motivation to succeed and prove her wrong.

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    • Yeah your totally right that's how i felt, she was more focused on what i could provide for her in future, which is ridiculous because who thinks like that. Either way it's a good thing i have to say i'm lucky she was honest because it would have been awful if i ended up marrying a person like that no knowing who they truly was. Yeah i plan to let her be my motivation, i feel a lot more motivated now that's a lot man

  • JUSTIFIED kid.

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  • What a dumb fucking cunt, I would have done the same thing to a gold digger like that. She was just using you, I'm glad it came out so much sooner rather than later.

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    • Haha totally true man complete and utter gold digging man, glad i got rid before she wasted more of my time. I will meet someone better anyway, thanks a lot man.

  • Sorry I couldn't read it all but well a gf should support you no matter what. When other people think you are going to fail, she should be the last one standing there by your side telling you to keep going and giving you words of encouragement. Breakups are emotional so they can be bad so yeah that's justifiable but learn from it anyway.

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    • You gave great advice even if you couldn't read it all, i agree that's what a gf should be there supporting you through anything and everything.

      Thanks man

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