Told cheating ex that I miss him?

was with my ex for 6 months and i found out that he cheated on me with different girls. We split 2 months ago but have seen each other frequently and stayed in contact. Most of the times we have seen each other during these 2 months we have kissed, cuddled and even slept together. When we are together he tells me he still has love for me and misses me. I dont actually believe what he says because of his past lies but i love him and i miss him so so much. I have tried to hate him but i cant. I never want to be in a relationship with him again but i want him in my life. I text him today and told him that I miss him, it felt like a real urge, compulsion to tell him that i miss him. I know he doesn't have any credit to text back but wondering now what he must be thinking. Wondering if it will freak him out or if he will like it that i have told him. Really shouldn't care what he thinks but i do
really would love some guys opinions on this


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sex bonds us to someone... Sometimes forever.

    That is why it is important not to introduce it into a relationship until the time is right (Honeymoon).

    Unfortunately you are bonded to an unworthy guy. He is unfaithful.

    You must severe those emotional ties with him, or get caught up with him again, and feel the feelings of hurt will be twice as bad next time leaving you feeling twice as empty, emotionally.

    • thank you for taking the time to respond :) and i have to agree with everything you have said. As a guy what do u think he is thinking now?

    • Since you two had sex, he did indeed bond to you. Depending on traits you yourself have, he may find himself forever thinking about you and the time he spent with you.

      unfortunately... He is a cheater, and cheaters have been with many girls. So while he may be thinking about you one moment, he is thinking about so and so another moment, and the other girl another moment, and this one girl the next...

      So even though he may still care for you in a way, in the long run, compared with those many other girls, it kind of, sort of, doesn't matter. He's got a whole smorgasbord of women to think about now.

      That's the problem with promiscuity... His soul is pulled and ripped a hundred different ways, and a new way each new woman he sleeps with. Unfortunately this damages his soul. Damage only God can heal.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he still loves and cares for you. Obviously you both are still emotionally connected. There are two paths for this to go. You need to do whatever you can to break it off with him. He cheated on you. You should respect yourself to know that you don't deserve that. You need to cut off all communication with him and go on a cleanse from him. Maybe not meet new people, but hang out with your girls, travel, go do fun things and focus on getting better for you. Workout and exercise, try new things, focus on making yourself better and create distance between you two. Avoid the temptation to contact him. You need to focus on you and moving on from this. You deserve better, and a new person who won't cheat on you or hurt you. That's not healthy. Then later on after a several months, you can bring him back into your life as friends at least.

    Other path, you can try and make it work with him. But you need to work with him and commit to that's what your decision is. If you want him, have a discussion with him. You need to know exactly why he cheated on you and what his reasons are. You have got to know all the details to then decide if you really want this guy back. Good guys can make bad decisions. You need to figure out if you can live with yourself if you stay with him after all he's done to you/for you. If you decide to stay with him, try and talk stuff out to him. Both of you need to put your feelings out in the open to know where each other stands. Then decide if you can move forward together and put this behind you.

    No matter what you do, you need to commit to one or the other. Being in the middle like this isn't healthy for you either of you and it isn't any fun to waste energy like this. Having it in the middle like this is too painful I'm sure, and you're missing out on new experiences, having fun, and a new you or building a new a relationship and perhaps future with this guy. What do you want? Pick one or the other. And do it.

    • thank you for taking the time to respond :) i know i have to break away from him, i actually described him as toxic for me. When i first found out about his cheating he said he did it cos i smoothered him that i was too full on and that he didn't know how to handle it. I told him he should have spoken to me instead of letting me believe that he was happy with the relationship we had not go and sleep with someone else. Then more recently when we spoke about the cheating he said he did it because he got the attention from the other girls and just took it. I don't think he will ever change because I have since found out that he cheated on previous girls. Its him. I could never put myself through that again but i still can't let go and the thought of not having him in my life just devastates me. Its like im addicted to him. I have tried going on dates with other guys but haven't enjoyed them because all i think about is my ex. He knows i've been on dates too

    • You now, people who have a cheating partner they love make excuses for their partner. It is very hard to let go, mainly because you can't accept that someone you love would do that to you. It happened to me, it happened to you.
      It took me 3 years to realise that she made a choice to cheat. She had no respect for me.
      You understand that they do this again and again. You need to move away for your own self respect and accept that they have a flaw that you can't fix and nor should you accept it.
      Unfortunately if you are married and have children together you are shackled to them in some respect, but you don't have to be with them anymore. There are some lovely people that have had the same experience as you. They value trust.

    • You need to realize that you don't deserve this. You don't deserve someone like him. You deserve better. He's not worth it no matter what you think. Those six months are gone, you had good & bad times. But looking to your future, it'll be the most bright without him in it. You shouldn't be seeing other guys right now. It's not fair to them nor to you since you're still hung up on your ex. But you should definitely go out and have fun and do things you wouldn't normally do. Take a chance, and work on making yourself happy and feel good. Take a cleanse from him. It's worth trying :) But try whole-heartedly. It'll be hard at first, but you need to let go of him. He's not worth it. And you're worth more than wasting your time and energy on a guy who won't give you what you deserve. Life is short. Move on and find happiness :) (And that does not look like it's with him.)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He must be thinking "what a doormat, who will never learn her lesson, I'll get back with her, cheat again, split up with her and she'll come running right on back and afterwards I'll repeat the cycle over again".

    • he knows i will never get into a relationship with him again and he knows that i have been out with other guys since we split.

What Girls Said 1

  • Ok this is somewhat bad, he's possibly saying he loves you just to use you for sex. Because if he really loved you he would never cheated. I understand you want him in your life , I've been through a similar situation. But do you really know where you stand with him?

    • he has never told me that he loves me before sex its always after it. I'm not falling for that line anyways. I believe that he cares about me though. We both know that we can never be in a relationship again and i dont think he would even want that even if i was willing to do that again. I just wish i could switch off from him and get him out of my head. I'm constantly thinking about him and always want to contact him and be around him even though i dont. I dont regret telling him that i miss him but would love to have some idea how he's thinking or feeling about me telling him that

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    • it drives me mad thinking of him with another girl even though i will never get in a relationship with him again, yeah he could be leading me on and probably is doing that. That's why i debated with myself whether i should tell him i miss him or not.

    • It's not a nice feeling at all being led on. I've been through it.
      Get out while you can, it will only benefit you

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