How can you give someone the ultimatum? ?

I just want to teach him a damn lesson. So he can learn to appreciate me and not take things for granted. ..


Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you sure you REALLY want to give an ultimatium. I mean there is no turning back once you do. Most guys take those to heart and consider it a huge challenge. It is like forcing the guy to submit to you for some of us. If you give him an ultimatium and it doesn't work will you back down and admit it was a bluff or do you follow through with it and take a chance of losing him. I mean there are so many better ways of dealing with issues that dont force one side or the other to admit losing or if neither side will admit it then the relationship is over. If all you are trying to do is "teach him a lesson" I strongly reccomend you find a different way. We might be able to help with ideas if we knew what it was about or why but as for and ulitimatium I just think its a really bad idea.

    • So this is the story:
      We have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old. I live in 1 city and he lives in another. He's been moving in and out of my home. He gets mad bc things aren't going his way or simply bc he wants to be with his mom and he automatically bails out on not just me but his boys. I'm very tired of dealing with this situation every other week. Just recently he took off maybe 3 weeks ago. And from then on he has NOT had any contact with me in regards to his sons. I'd expect him to at least check up on them. He literally works 5 minutes away from my home! Yet he hasn't stopped by to see them either. That is why I want to make him realize I will NOT be putting my sons through his childish games. If I put up with them for 6 years I will not continue to do so. Especially if my sons are being dragged into it too!

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    • I will assume you are not married then. Right? If that is the case then an ultimatium will have little to no effect. At least not the way you want it too. I would think the best thing you can do is to push him out of the "family" you have going with the boys. The more you dont need him the more he will realize he needs you or he will move on and stop causing you all the problems. Either way its a win for you and the kids. I just dont get why women are so willing to put up with this kind of thing from a guy. You have a choice to accept the treatment he is giving you or stop it. It seems to me this os a case where maybe you should just end things with him and try to move on. Now if you are married. The real problem is the kind of relationship you have in the first place and I would reccomend counsiling. I normally dont reccomend that because i think it is most times a lot of junk but sometimes it is helpful in certain cases.

    • No, thankfully we are not married. And the 2bd baby was actually a surprise. Birth control fail. But anyways, I agree with both of you though! Your words are very true. I'm actually in need to hear it all from the opposite sex. And they always say its better to get it from a stranger. Thank you guys.

      I DO NOT NEED HIM whatsoever, and my sons have been doing perfectly fine without him. At the beginning my 2 year old would make it his mission to get a hold of him on my cell phone but eventually I took off his contact pic, off speed dial and just deleted his #. I don't want him back. I just wanted him to be a good father to them at least since he couldn't be a good bf to me.

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What Guys Said 3

  • To Give Somebody An Ultimatum You Must First Talk & Tell Them How You Feel, Communication Is Key In A Relationship...

  • Talk to Larry Bilotta, you find him on the internet.

  • this isn't how relationships work

    • Believe me we have 2 babies, this kid really needs a scare to realize he can lose his family if he doesn't start acting like a darn MAN. But, I totally understand what you mean :)

    • That's why you assess the person before you make kids for them...

    • Believe me, if I would've known THIS was the type of person he was... I wouldn't be in this situation. He became this way after our 1st pregnancy began.

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