Why does the dumper play games?

My ex and I broke up two months ago. We dated over a year and lived together through most of that. We broke up due to trust issues on my part and frankly she bailed because she's a little immature.

Since she's moved, she's only moved stuff once a week, she got in a car accident after two weeks but had friends bring her over and she could have gotten all of her stuff before then. She left her cat because her roommate's cat was in heat. She hasn't picked him back up, I told her she should just keep him here, but she wanted to take him but never got him.

She was under my insurance and was asked multiple times to change it but didn't want to till the car was fixed. I took her off but she still owes me money and every time I ask her to pay me she either obliges and says she will or yells at me about keeping the cat. She also told me that she changed her mailing address but has not done that. She took some of my things "on accident" including a dirty shirt of mine. She basically took everything of hers, except for a few small things.

We haven't talked in a few weeks but she would randomly ask me about grabbing stuff that she already took or coming to grab something. But then wouldn't ask again after I didn't respond. Basically asking questions she knew the answer to. My roommate has found her on tinder, but I assume she's getting lonely and needs attention.

Is she testing me? Does it seem like she thinks about coming back? Of course she's stringing me along but I would like to hear from someone who's been on both side of the situation. Obviously she's playing games
She also called me after the accident to let me know since she was under my insurance. But we ended up talking for an hour. She said she didn't know if getting back together was what she wants. Obviously called for an ego boost.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you're "familiar" & it's comforting to talk to you because your bf/gf IS your best friend.. And you were always there for her before. Sometimes when people feel down in the dumps or lonely, just hearing from someone familiar helps. She probably misses you too, so she snatched your stuff and leaves stuff of hers behind so there's an excuse to contact or see you.

    • We haven't talked in three weeks and only the insurance has been resolved. Do you think she still misses me or is trying to test me to see if i could change?

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    • Yeah, kinda sounds like it.. Where she pisses you off on purpose to make you act a certain way, to reinforce her decision to leave.. Maybe so she feels like she's right in her actions (to leave), but yet she's setting you up to get the result she wants.. Kinda weird. But at least you're aware of it now!

    • Yeah and thats why i feel like she won't talk to me right now cause she's setting up another test. I won't ask for my stuff back or for her to do anything. She needs to realize what she's doing

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What Girls Said 2

  • When you guys were dating you supported her financially and legally and now that you have cut her off - she misses that. She isn't playing games with you - she is just trying to make the break up less final.

    • But why string me along and not talk?

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    • Well she hasn't tried to make friends with me, which I dont want I'm only in it for the relationship. Do you think she'd come back?

    • If she doesn't act like she is interested then she probably is not intent on getting back together with you.

  • She might just be dragging it out because it's hard to let go sometimes.


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