How to determine if ur ex or someone who U used to date & want to re-attract is testing U to determine your strength & worthiness, or waste of time?

I've dumped by my ex. I've been applying what is taught ever since then & have been doing well with new women. Recently, I was out on a date with a new woman I was seeing. Earlier in the day my ex had been texting me trying to get me to see her that same night, but I said I couldnt because I already had plans. A few minutes later the parents of my ex sat down in the booth next to me and my date in the same restaurant. A few minutes later my ex texted me. A little while after that she showed up at the restaurant. Needless to say, her attitude and behavior totally changed and she really started reaching out to me again. Then she abruptly canceled a date she asked me out on literally forty five minutes before we were supposed to meet. I wonder if she is just testing me or wasting my time.

I thought of some some subtle mistakes I made that opened me up to getting jerked around by her again.

“No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. If you allow someone to come into your life, start jerking you around and you continue to tolerate their bad behavior, you are asking them to do it to you again. By your tolerance of their bad behavior you enable and invite them to continue mistreating you. If it’s a lover you really want, a job you want, a business deal you want to close, a new friend you want to have, a rock star employee you want to hire, etc., you must have a point that if they push you too far, you will walk and never look back. In every negotiation in life, and make no mistake about it-life is a constant stream of negotiations, you must know your outcome & the minimum terms you are willing to accept before walking away from the deal or relationship. If you don’t, you will perpetually be disappointed, not get what you want and have people walking all over you. You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what you negotiate.”

Whats your thoughts on my theory?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your (borrowed) theory is correct.

    You need to have lines, and communicate them.

    Blow your ex off the next time she makes plans, because I doubt she apologized or made-up for canceling on you 45m before you guys were to do something.

    Be sure to tell her that you don't like getting jerked around, and that that's not a good look on her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I completely agree- set your boundary and don't waiver. Show her she cannot play with you, that you have self respect and won't tolerate her selfish games. She feels she has control of you now - take that away from her. Anyone who breaks up with you and hurts you should have the sensitivity and compassion to leave you be and let you move on with your life. What she is doing is cruel.


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