I think he's afraid of getting hurt what can I do?

My ex broke up due to trust issues (I really broke his heart) and he seems to still be back and forth on what he really wants. He makes comments such as "you left with my heart" "No one has ever hurt me as much as you have" I've told him that's because you never loved anyone like you loved me amd he wld stay quiet. At one point in our relationship he wanted to get married but I wasn't fully ready. Now, he tells me we can't be together because we are too diffrent but since we've broken up we've never fully let go of each other we still keep in contact, and he has gotten jealous when a I talk to guys but than says I can do what I want and he doesn't have the right although I know it still bothers him. I really wish I could earn his trust and have him back in my arms again as a girlfriend. dnt you think somethings still there? any ideas? What could I do or not do for him not to be scared of getting back with me? Please help


Most Helpful Guy

  • He may only be in love with who he thought you were back then. He may get jealous because he loves you a lot, but knows that he doesn't have a say in what you do.

    If you two are still close enough, ask him to just hold you for a while, no words, and just think. Tell him that whatever the two of you do right then, doesn't have to mean that you're staying together or breaking up. Feel free to move your hands across his back and bury your face against his chest. Use words that blame yourself and pardon him, and that make the idea of the two of you seem like a fantastic ideal relationship.

    Why did you break his heart back then? What has him convinced that if he pardons you, that you can't help but break his heart again?

    If you get another chance, don't think about the future. Just think about the present. Just be with him, expressing your love freely without censorship. There is no shame in being fully honest with him. Let him into the places within your mind and heart that you're afraid to let anyone else into, even friends and family.

    If there's an event in your life that you think led to you breaking his heart, tell him about it. Then say "I'm sorry..." and walk away slowly. If you can't help it, cry. Just don't turn back or stop. Keep going. You need to let go of who you are completely. You'll become a better person if you know the deepest everything about yourself. And if he sees this vulnerable person you are inside, perhaps he can fall in love again. But don't count on it.

    Count on him being gone forever. Believing otherwise makes your farewell fake. But do be accepting of it if he comes back to you. Just don't assume he'll be yours again. If anything, you want to be his. Just his.

    • That's beautiful.. thank you for taking the time to advise.. truth is he was the type who people believed I cld do better than him and he was insecure at times I was like a trophy gf to him.. i 1x had an online dating profile but before I was even with him.. i wldnt get on it when it as with him but his friends found me on it and told him and I cldnt even explain because he already created in his mind I cheated on him.. he started to than look at my phone and assume the worse when guys wld message me I even had a dumb ex bf who wld randomly message me "hey babe" so that's why he says I left with his heart and I feel he's afraid of being with me. It hurts so much because i feel judged for something I didn't do the only failure I have was not making him feel secure. I've tried to apologize and he says he's not mad and it's the past but I still feel he hasn't fully forgotten... there are days tho when he sees me he hugs me and has even kissed me. I just wish he wld just give me a chance

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What Guys Said 1

  • Depends on what you did to really break his heart. Somethings you just never fully recover from.

    • I had a online dating profile and I never got on it while being with him i had it even a yr an a half before I even got with him.. but his room mates saw I had it and told him and my ex was so hurt and said I was a cheater and I shldve tooken it off the moment I had a bf but truth is I didn't even get on it so out of sight out of mind. After that he started looking through my phone and not fully trusting me when guys wld simply even say hi he wld doubt.. i feel horrible because i broke his heart but not on purpose.. i shldve not been so careless. Now, he seems to be letting his guard down just a little but still says he cnt be with me right now, but when I'm with him I can see he still has feelings for me and him making his comments such as "you left with my heart" shows me he's still broken. That's y I wish I cld show him without scarring him that I'm pressuring him into a relationship

What Girls Said 1

  • I am currently in the same position. My boyfriend was the one who hurt me. And as someone who is in your boyfriend's position, it is extremely hard to trust someone again if you really love them. It will literally take months before the relationship can get better. There's had to be A LOT of open communication and you to have to share your feelings. There's no other way around. Plus A LOT of patience, especially from you with him. It's going to take time before things can go back to how they were.


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