How to get the courage to breakup with him?

I've already had my confirmations that my boyfriend isn't the one for me. We are on different paths and ever since the 2nd month we were together I started wanting us to go out more and him to pay more attention to me at now, at 9 months, I've tried talking it out with him and letting him know how I feel but nothing has changed. He hardly texts me because he "hates texting" yet he never calls me either. He basically just works and plays video games while I work, go to school, and shadow all the while setting aside certain days to see him. Sometimes he will want to and sometimes he's "too tired". He hasn't taken me out on an actual date since May and the last time we saw each other was over a week ago. I don't want a lot from him I just want a date every few weeks or just to see him once or twice a week.
Now I know I'm unhappy with him yet when we are together I just forget about everything and am happy to just be with him. He makes me laugh and we have fun even though we're not doing particularly something that I would like to be doing. I have planned breaking up with him 4 times now and each time we've either talked it out or I realized I couldn't do it but he is hurting me more than I think I deserve at this point and I want to know if anyone out there has had to basically force themselves to do a breakup even when it wasn't really want they wanted to do?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Breaking up is hard to do, as they old song goes, however the Saying is much the same. And the longer you prolong Being happy and free again, the Harder It becomes, for each and every time you both have 'Talked it out' Or you lost your nerve to do the Inevitable, it always comes back full circle to the Same saga. And you're right-----Nothing will change, and neither will he Nor this dead end relationship. Stop Enabling him to get away with his antics, his actions and allowing him to use you as his door mat. You are clearly Not 'Happy,' and the more you procrastinate, the Longer you are stuck going down this beaten path, day after day, month after month. He is making you ride his pity wagon, attaching You and your heart felt feelings to his lazy caboose. It's a train wreck that is waiting to crash and burn any time now, and the next thing you know, as Fate will have it----You both will split up with never even wanting to be friends, if all possible. Stop the madness now.
    If it is so hard to do this, might I suggest to begin your beguine with baby steps. With this, I mean taking a Break from one another so you Both can do some serious soul searching and come to some terms, some compromise that if it is best to Break up when all is said and done, which he may even agree would be best, or stay together and make it work, make some changes, once you would find that during this 'Break,' that You are Missing the kissing more than you thought... It happens all the time...
    You Do have a few options which I have laid on your plate... Just food for thought... It's your choice...
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you for allowing me to be here for you... I know you are smart and will do the right thing so you can finally be happy once again, take care... xx

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What Guys Said 5

  • You're in denial. It IS what you want to do. Your entire post alone is filled with all the reasons why you want to break up with him. So, just tell him everything you just put here, and tell him it's over. It's that simple.

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  • To Break-Up With Him You Need To Set Your Emotions Aside & Make The Decision To Do It With Your Head & Not Your Heart, It Will Be Difficult At First But Over Time You'll Feel Better...

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  • remember the longer you wait the harder it's going to be. also keep in mind that you aren't doing him or yourself any favors by prolonging the inevitable. the sooner you can end it the sooner the two of you can move forward

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  • Find another guy... that's what my ex did.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Absolutely. Breakups get the reputation that they're easy for the dumper, but they're usually not. I knew I was unhappy with the state of things with my ex, but was still very much in love with him. I was devastated for a few weeks, but came out realizing it was the best thing.

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  • You have to let him go be honest with yourself and see what it really is. If you have to beg someone to spend time with you or take you out then something isn't right there. Just free yourself from unhappiness its not fair to you.

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  • well, i see tha u should say to him what u feel.. that's not how a relationship should be :( i don't think that he even care :/ just do what make you comfortable.. you wanna break up with him? just do it.. u might break is heart but he's not giving u any attention... u deserve someone who really loves you and do whatever it takes to keep this relation goes on... just do what makes u happy :) take care of yourself , be confident and courageous :)

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