Well I'm going through the classic break up withdrawal (it's been almost 3 months). However I'm real disappointed in myself for how sensitive and morose I have been acting. I am a st8 man in my early 30s, I thought I would be tougher than this.
Long story short I dated my ex for a year but in the later months I started losing physical (but not emotional) interest in her. I thought about asking her for break but couldn't bring myself to do it. When I mean break... I mean some time off to straighten out my own life and refresh my feelings towards her. She was by far one of the highest quality girls I've come across in the past few years. I just couldn't bring myself to ask her for break... so I drove her into dumping me.
I was doing fine the first couple weeks after the breakup. I almost felt relieved until my brother made an offhand asshole comment when I told him the news. He said "you know John... you are going to die a miserable, lonely old man...". My bro has always been an asshole so I usually let it roll off my shoulders... but this one hit home... hard. I lost my temper and called him every name in the book. Then two weeks later I discovered I had a HPV infection & an underactive thyroid. That's a separate issue... but it really hurts my confidence when it comes to finding other woman. I did see my ex a few times for business reasons (and I told her about the infection... fortunately she's vaccinated). She was cold as ice, 180 turn around from the warm and caring girl I knew only a few months ago. I also suspect she met a new guy at her work in the last 2 weeks of our relationship. We were having some issues at the end but I think this guy made her decision to dump me much easier for her.
I have been trying to eat healthier, exercising more and doing some social activities. I even hired a counselor to help me get through these problems. I know people react differently to break ups... but seriously when will I stop thinking of her?
Most Helpful Guy
And.. your free therapy session starts.. now:
I was seeing this girl, when I was 21 or 22, somewhere around that age. Just finished with my B. S. in Finance, Math & Stats, was working as a junior analyst at a top 100 business consulting firm in New York, Wall Street warrior, pulling in about 82-88 hour workweeks, and my happiest moment was having my boss offer to rent me a hotel room across the street from work so that I could sleep there overnight, and come back to work the next day to avoid wasting 2 hours going back and forth from the trains. And like the idiot that I was, I gladly said "yes," and it made my whole week. I felt like I was doing something with my life, and I was too busy to see that I was alone.
Enter Tiffany (not her real name), an 18 y/o aspiring actress/model that I fortuitously met when she wrapped her arms around me in a drunken stupor at some piano bar. We were dating for about 2-3 months, and unbeknownst to me, we were on two completely different wave-lengths. I worked out the financing on a $74k ring from.. Tiffany's, and I was ready to just make her a part of my life. In my mind, this was it. We were happy, we had chemistry, the sex was fantastic, we had loads of fun together. The only problem is, that's all she was interested in. She was in for the ride, not the long haul. She wasn't interested in the long haul. That wasn't romantic for her. That was terrifying for her, because it meant the fun stopped.
So, when I asked her if she wanted to get an apartment and move in together, she said no. Well, I wasn't going to ask her to get married after that! And thank God I didn't, because I found out that while I was at work 88 hours a week, he was hooking up with her exes... as in plural... as in all the way.
For the first 4-7 days, I was in shock. My brain couldn't really register what just happened. Afterwards, I realized I was falling into a very low and dark place, until day 40-50, where things got better.0
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