How do I deal with this situation. I need help?

This isn't a boyfriend break up. It's a best friend break up. I'm a girl. And am super nice but super shy. I met this girl and we hit it off so well she became my first best friend. I'm 20 and was always bullied bc I was shy. I never had any friends. Everything was so well we got along it was great. We made so many plans for the future then things started getting rocky and she was using me. And ended up saying were not friends. This is so hard for me bc I only have one other friend. And even this one. It's not the same. She disagrees with me. And it doesn't feel right. And this other girl. I told her we don't need to be mean to eachother when we see eachother. But she doesn't want that. She's so rude to me now. And I don't know what I did wrong. I'm super shy and I'm so scared I'm never gonna find that type of friendship where you just hit it off and everything goes together. Bc before the rockiness happened. The year and a half was amazing. Now I just feel empty inside and I'm forced to realize she's not coming back. She got what she wanted and she's gone. But we see eachother at hockey games a lot. So 1 how do I deal with this awkwardness of seeing her all the time. And acting like strangers when we know everything about eachother. And 2 how do I deal with the feeling of never getting another good friend before that all happened. Bc I'm soooo shy and was bullied so much that it's hard for me to meet friends. Will this type of friendship ever happen to me again?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't try to replace her with someone new. New friends will come along. You should find out why you attract the type of person that treats you like that. That's the real issue, if you did in fact do nothing wrong.

    • Im really shy, but nice and stuff. But I like to treat my friends. Bc I've never had any of them. So I'd buy her things just outta the kindness of my heart. And I guess she took advantage. I was also very weak and never had any friends. So I guess an easy target

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    • I don't feel special. Many guys called me ugly. And I got bullied so much. But I've learned to pretend to be happy. So well it fools people. Everyone at work thinks I'm this bubbly really happy girl. I hide my sadness really well. So it's not like I don't look confident. Or not friendly bc in public. I'm always smily. At work I get along with everyone at home I'm crying

    • I didn't mean entitled, sorry if it came across that way. But it sounds like you're having trouble liking who you are and you feel like these people you call your friends are all you deserve.
      You have to let go of the feeling that you need to probe yourself to anyone, or buy their affection. When dealing with people, just be yourself and "know" that's good enough. These people weren't your friends. They're attracted to the face you put on for them, which happened to give them free stuff

Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl you need to chill. Are you sure anything has changed. Assuming gets you no where. Agree to disagree sometimes. That's a good relationship. If you agree ALL THE TIME. I would wonder if that person was truly honest.

    • Yes things have changed. She told me specifically she didn't wanna be friends. Then she messaged me a week later telling me she misses me and wanted me to be there to help her out still. And I said that's fine. Then she never talked to me again so I seen her at a game and she gave me a dirty glare so I messaged her after and told her we can still be nice we don't have to be mean and she snapped at me. And also she started subtweeting me and it was obvious it was about me bc of the things she was saying. It was just obvious. She never had any other friends really either. And she said the ugly pink hoodie girl. I was wearing the pink hoodie. So it made it obvious

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    • What makes you think she doesn't want the friendship back? Hmm sounds like assuming to me. I'm sure she accepted it. To be honest your friend may be like me and my new friend we have challenges with communication but there has NEVER been anything we did not get through. Thats why I value the friendship to the end of the world. I will agree and say I don't break any promises. I let people break theirs instead

    • It's not assuming when you ask her if we can still be friends. And she tells you straight up. I don't wanna be friends with you anymore. I have a new friend and I don't need u.

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What Guys Said 3

  • There Is Nothing You Can Do To Fix This If She Is Being Mean To You, You Just Have To Accept The Loss & Learn From This. Some People Out In The World Are Cold Hearted & Mean & Dont Take People's Feelings Into Consideration, Just Ignore Her & Live Your Life, Stop Tryna Be Friends With Her. You Will Find Another Friend Eventually So Dont Give Up...

  • Yes, it can happen again. But you need to get out and meet people. That's hard to do if you're shy.

    Ignore her. Just remember she's a user. Enjoy life without her. Pretend she's dead.

    • I've tried getting out but bc I'm shy and live in a smaller city and have been bullied a lot it's hard to meet people without being judged from the past

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    • Only if I had enough money I would lol

    • Save your money.

      Get a credit card and/or a loan.

      Apply for better jobs elsewhere, and hit family up to move for it.

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