Moving on from a cheating girlfriend?

I'd been with my girlfriend for 5 years and for 3 of those we'd lived together. We'd always talked about kids, marriage and pets etc.. We both loved each other very much and having had several relationships in the past I could really appreciate how different and special to me she was.

She'd had a few very short relationships but nothing serious and I was her first big relationship and real love. When we moved back home (we lived in Sheffield) she became very distant and started going to work earlier and coming home later. Sometimes she wouldn't be home until midnight and then she'd be out again early in the morning. I thought she was concerned we were in a rut so I suggested lots of this for us to do. We went cycling, swimming, to the pleasure beach, alton towers, a few zoo's (she loves rides and animals) we even went on holiday to Newquay to surf and go to the festival.

We came home from our holiday on the Monday then on Tuesday she went to work and didn't come home until 2am. At about 12:15pm I was getting concerned as she hadn't texted back or answered my calls so I fired up her Mac to go on find a phone because I was worried she was hurt. When I loaded it Facebook was open and she had messages from a guy she had never mentioned. I'm sure you can all imagine the rest... I found out she'd been cheating on me for 2 months. Personally I'm 23 and have just graduated university and she's 21 and in the same position. He was 24 with 2 children ( 3years old and 11months) both with the same women who he was with up until our holiday.

I confronted her and she lied. She broke up with me saying it was nothing to do with him. Then after going round to his the next day (only recently found that out) she ended it and said she made a mistake and wanted me back. We tried working through it but she wouldn't leave her part time job or stop seeing him. She said they didn't talk but he even messaged me telling me to back off! Even though she was MY girlfriend.

Updates:
We've separated now and basically I wanted to understand how this happened! Why did she do this? Why did she not care? I never mistreated her and I literally did everything I ever could for her.
Now Anyone else willing to offer an opinion? Report

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She is a selfish whore who doesn't deserve any tear. If she wants some other dick, alright but break up before. Cheating is a no no, and you eveb gave her another chance and she was not trying to change anything. What a whore. Find a girl that deserves and really loves you

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What Girls Said 2

  • Being she is only '21' and like you say, for you have answered Basically your own question here-------She's had a few very short relationships------The bottom line is she doesn't know what she really wants, is this fickle pickle and hasn't matured enough to be with You, Nor anyone right now.
    Don't get back up with her just to find out she is in this Problem child pattern to do it all over again. If you continued to keep your heart on your sleeve for her every time she 'Made a mistake and wanted me back,' this will cause nothing but strife in your life, and a full circle folly you go with her... Just in case you were ever Considering Trying even Once more...
    Knowing her for the years you have, Living with her for some of them, she found out that she was beginning to feel trapped, she couldn't breath and she ended up going a stray. No, nothing you did. You were the Pole that held up this Unity. No woman could have asked for more from your love and patience and time invested.
    Yes, I believe, and still do, that she Does 'Care,' but is Not ready to be There when you need her the most, Nor to share in Anything Permanent or long term right now.
    Good luck. xx

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  • You're better off without her. She's immature and doesn't know what she wants. If you take her back, she'll do it again. Until she learns to grow up, she's going to do this over and over.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is why she did it. It was in her nature

    www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hypergamy

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  • You're a door mat, and she got used to walking all over you.
    When the other guy turned out to not be interested in leaving his baby mommy for your girlfriend, she realised she had two choices - be single, or try and get you back.

    Girls like this are terrible at being single, so she tried to get you back. She had no interest in changing her behaviour though, and would have cheated on you again and again.

    Because you're a door mat.
    No wonder the other guy thought he could tell you to stay away. . She has no doubt had many a laugh, telling him all the shit she makes you eat on a regular basis.

    You need to reframe how you look at this relationship. She wasn't the love of your life. She was a walking plague. A pair of sewer workers boots that trod muck and shit all over your life. And you sniffed it up hard, called it food for flowers and thanked her.

    You need to see her for what she was, and the relationship for what it was. And then thank your lucky stars you got out of there without kids or alimony.

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