Rather than trying to repair relationships or Marriage, do you think we should have some way to prepare things better at the beginning?

After Divorce people go to advisers like Relate or Marriage Guidance (who often make things worse). They try to patch things up often after sometimes years of problems. Surely it is better to prepare for life and understand our partner better at the beginning.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A relationship (romantic or otherwise) is an ever evolving thing. It is constantly changing and growing just as we ourselves as individuals change and grow. There are some things that I really don't think you can prepare for.

    With that being said, I also believe people jump in too early, too young and for the wrong reasons. Go ahead, get married at the age of 20 before you really know who you are and what you actually want from a partner. Just don't be surprised when 5 years later things aren't as wonderful and he/she isn't as perfect for you as you thought they were.

    I think a huge problem with relationships today is that people are only asking, "what can this person do for ME?" Instead of asking the question they should be asking, "What can I do for this person?" Resentment and anger build on resentment anger, just las love and caring build on love and caring. We can break each other down or build each other up, it's all a matter of choices and being willing to put that person first and foremost ALWAYS, not just when it's convenient or you feel like it or once in awhile. Love can't flourish on 'once in a while'.

    • My program that I am working on is a preparation where the couple discuss their background, their priorities, needs and desires. This detailed discussion, in the past was called courtship and was not a rushed process. What you describe is the reality of modern day, because we now skip this step. It is still important. If our values, wishes and dreams are not shared and unknown it is not a surprise when relationships fall apart maybe years down the line. As you say people marry before they know who they are and what they want. I would like to bring this into focus at the beginning.
      But are people interested in checking these things as they did in the past?
      I have the knowledge now and the tools, I made the mistakes.
      I believe Love can flourish almost every time if you first examine your valuesm needs and priorities with your partner at the beginning.
      Now we only do this in the floundering process before divorce, when it is too late.

    • You are a wise woman.

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