Why do guys reject and hurt a woman who cares about them? especially after a break up?

Just a general question. My ex is using the "push and pull" technique on me.

I've always been there for him, even after his recent accident. we've been broken up for 2 months now. But even so, he has been ice cold towards me all the time for no reason even saying "I've done nothing wrong".

I blocked him on Facebook a while ago. He and I spoke on whatsapp today about meeting up. The next thing, he blocks me and I panicked and called him. When I called a woman answered and said he is unavailable and hung up.

I feel broken. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should have just went no contact on him after your break up. Fuck the silly little games. If a person wants to be with you then that's all that should matter not these stupid ass games people pull to show them that. I don't know you guys relationship but it sounds like he moved on pretty quickly maybe you should too and if you can't then fake it till you make it.

    • I'm not a woman that does rebounds :) so I'll work through it. Thanks for comment I do agree with you with regards to people not playing games. Xx

    • Ty for mh!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Why we reject? WHY do you think you two can stil lbe friends like nothing happened? THAT is the big question!
    With a breakup there's bound to be hurt feelings, and they can NOT be ignored. You care about him? Well, that's good. But see things from his perspective. Who broke up? why did you break up?
    Realize one thing, after a breakup you generally can't return to how it was before you got together. It simply won't work! Also one need to work through one's emotions, and having the gril you were with does NOT help.
    To put if from his perspective; "why does she still care and act like normal before we got together?"

    Things have changed, you just have to accept that. He used to love you, and now that's over. Some reaction WILL come, and distancing oneself from the one you broke up with to avoid any unnecesary heartache isn't that uncomon. You just have to accept that he'll treat you that way, that's all you can do.

    • He agreed to us being friends. I don't want him back I only care for him as a friend because I know the hardships he has faced. We've known each other for 16 years, so to be treated like this now really hurts. One chooses how they treat others, and I think he is petty and hurtful and I don't deserve that just because I'm an "ex". We broke up on good terms and he suppressed his feelings for me by doing drugs. So I can't help but worry about him.

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    • Yeah that will happen eventually, he is still holding onto things from his childhood... I've told him to go for counselling but he feels that is for people who are weak.

    • From his childhood until now (that is approximately 16 years of baggage including our break up and his feelings for me). Though by the way he treated me lately I doubt there is anything left. He is an ice cold person who doesn't even feel empathy. His family thinks he is a psychopath or bipolar.

  • He moved on quickly, my ex did the same. The funny thing is though even after all this time I can't seem to find a relationship that was as good as the one we had back then.
    That she finds a better one or equally good one that fast is either really really lucky, or she is deluding herself.

    Anyway fuck em, a lot of people are cold and cut people off the moment they get 'hurt' because they only think about the moment of 'hurt'. Thereby devalueing the entire relationship before it. Which in my mind is usually (depending on the circumstances) really dumb because you only live once. I try to work things out, others run and blame you.

    It's in their character so just accept it and move on.

    I am very sorry, stuff like this happens everyday to thousands if not more people I think.

    • It's okay :) sorry to hear that you've been through the same thing. My ex has loads of issues to deal with including drug problems etc so he is the only one that can fix himself. I'll just keep my distance and pray for him :) Xx Thanks for your comment Xx

  • You should move on.


What Girls Said 2

  • Jesus, WHY are you letting him do this? He's probably hoping to keep you on the side, fooling BOTH of you. BLOCK HIM EVERYWHERE.

  • You can't love a person into love you. If he's being an asshole just cut him off all together.

    • Asshole? I'd call it a reaction to a neagative mental stimuli.
      From experience girls have a harder time deattaching themselves from people that cause them negative mental stimuli (like a breakup) than guys, hence why girl are more liekyl to try the "remain friends" option. Guys however work differently than that. After a breakup it's over, simple as that. That means we'll treat you with professional kindness.
      He's not an asshole, he's just a guy trying to get over a breakup without having the girl he broke up with fuck with his feelings?
      Because girls, do you havee ANY idea how it feels when you want to get over someone, and said person keeps trying to get back in your life? Your ratinal mind keeps telling you to not listen to the heart who tells you to accept her with open arms, and your mind keeps reminding you HOW it ended last time you were together.
      THAT is why guys distance themselves and get cold towards you, and someteims seem douchey if you try to get him back.

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    • Oh stop I was joooooking *english woman accent*

    • I agree with your comment but I don't have to love him into loving me. He has drug issues and a lot of other issues too. He suppressed his feelings for me and I've known him for 16 years. It hurtful that he treats me like this, especially now. I ONLY care about him and have showed that I care. But since earlier, i've blocked his number now too because I don't deserve this treatment just because I have a good heart. Xx

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