Guy I was seeing suddenly broke up with me because he became ill and got back with his ex out of nowhere?

Hi all. I've been seeing my guy for about 10 months now. Things have been going great, we really enjoyed spending time together and our time away from eachother. We both have a lot of things going for us and we celebrated them together. Earlier he had been telling me things like his heart always wants to go wherever I am, that I inspired him to pursue his passions and that he really respected what I did. He tried to give me the keys to his apartment because "mi casa tu casa" and we talked about our future together once I finished studying (which is in half a years time).

However just 2 weeks ago, he found out that he had an incurable genetic illness and suddenly told me that we should stop seeing eachother. He didn't say any reason other than that he was confused and had no time to deal with it and so we stopped contact for two weeks.

Yesterday I was able to find out about the illness and I was completely shocked. What confuses me more is that he's gone back to his ex because he feels she's in a better position to support him financially and that she has now moved back in with him just in case he faints again. What strikes me as odd is that he still refers to her as his "ex" when she has technically become his "girlfriend" again. When I asked him why he wouldn't let me look after him, he only said that he didn't think i deserved to be dragged down by his s*** and that there was no way he could just take a young freespirited girl and ruin her life with his problems (I'm 23, he is 30). I asked him if this is the end but he said he would never wish it to be the end that he wished we could get even closer.

I'm confused by his actions. What exactly is going on inside his mind? I'm still in love with him and I'm so sure he is too. Is he just with her because it's convenient?
They had been together for 3 years.
He moved here for her.
Since arriving here, he says I am the first true friend he has made (as he does not like her crowd)
Prior to meeting me, they had been broken up for a while. He dumped her


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well since you mentioned the financial part I think he maybe has some financial issues he hasn't told you about either and feels that it would be better off if you found someone probably closer to your age. He probably needs more financial help than you can provide at this time and you being younger and finishing school he doesn't want to be a burden to you. You should probably just move on and find someone else to be happy with, you are still young and have plenty of time for love! But he shouldn't be looking to you for financial help anyway that is not what relationship should be about. True there is no romance without finance but it seems like he is hiding something!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'll be honest and say yeah maybe he is just being a gold digger with her and needs help financially however something just doesn't sound right to me.
    He's gentlemanly enough to not drag you down with his sh*t but not gentlemanly enough that he doesn't think USING someone for their money isn't morally wrong? That just doesn't match to me...
    How long has he been with his ex? Because if him having a genetic illness is true it sounds like he would just rather go through this challenge with her instead because he genuinely cares for her more but he's being nice in telling you basically an equivalent to the generic break up line "You deserve better"

    But you know him well enough by now to know if that would be plausible or not. I'm thinking it's a possibility because the gold digging gentleman in love doesn't quite sound right.

    • Previously they had a three year relationship. During the time we were seeing eachother, he and I both knew she wanted him back. It was kind of annoying to be honest because he kept trying to shield his ex and I from ever meeting eachother because he thought it would get awkward.

      She's currently moved in with him now to "make sure" he doesn't faint.

      He still insists that I am his first best friend since he moved to this country yet I dunno... I wouldn't treat a best friend like this. Since the drop, he's asked to grab some food together and I told him whenever is best. Aside from that it has been silent so I'm guessing he's having the time of his life being sick and being with her (it's not like he's going to die immediately anyways but he makes it sound like so. I'm guessing he didn't want me either way so he's using the being sick part to drop me).

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He doesn't want to ruin your life. Its pretty nice of him, because he almost certainly would.


What Girls Said 1

  • When guys are in love they enjoy being the provider and protector. It's in their nature. When they become unable to do so many feel ashamed, worthless and even depressed. Those who don't mind this either don't care about you as a girl, or produce no testosterone.

    If he has become ill and is with his ex now, it means he is using her. If he is deceiving her, that's low if you ask me. But he cares about you and doesn't want you to think of him as "less of a man". He is trying to protect you.

    Let him.

    If his state is getting progressively worse, or if it will bring you to be widowed in twenties, or thirties if you end up with him, listen to him. Don't linger around him. Don't feel guilty about it.
    Just move on and forget him. Nothing else you can do.

    If you linger and walk away when you see him at his worst it will ruin what he wanted you to remember him as, and it will cause you ten times the pain and guilt you would have otherwise felt.


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