Just a Vent - To my Ex?

Its ok to fall out of love, really, go for it. I am not perfect and neither are you so fall out of love and break it off I don't want you to stay if you don't want to be here. But you did stay. I wasn't allowed to hold your hand in public or cry when you broke my heart you came to me for your satisfaction and then just left. When did we become these people?

After three months of this I broke it off. You were embarrassed of being seen me in public at this point. I didn't stop loving you though "rough patch", "he will get better" and "We can fix this" became all to familiar to me even when there wasn't a "we" anymore.

We signed up for enough in the two years together though that I still had to see your face on a daily basis though, not enough that I had to hear the "you are the perfect couple" jabs that people kept throwing my way "you will get back together" became a sentence I clung to.

You couldn't fully let me go though and brought me back slowly until we were kissing in secret places and saying Love again. Like it meant something again. The thing is though, I did mean it. I liked your flaws, how you were a little scared of people and how you always took control and when you came round to my house when my parents where gone and kissed me I thought, this is it. This is my happy ending! Finally we worked this out, we are the perfect couple, we are back together, we got through the rough patch.

No. Silly me, while I was building a fairytale you were building your wall again (because this had happened before) You don't want a relationship you can't "handle it" right now.

Thank god the girl I used to be woke up then. I shouted and raged "I can't handle you right now!" became the sentence I clung to. It isn't a rough patch! I don't want to work through it!
I'm glad we are done and I have forgiven you. But I am not that girl anymore. I can't be pleasant to you in public just to save face.

I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. This is your fault too.


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