I did something stupid now I'm paying the price and I don't know how to handle it?

So last year I got involved with this girl that already had a boyfriend. Normally I'd never do something like this but at first I didn't even know because we were just hanging out and then it was so magical and I couldn't describe it that I just went along with it we both did. After a couple of months we both figured out that it was more than just having fun because we were both really affectionate and everything. After a talk we told each other it was more than just fun we actually fell in love with each other. But soon after that she got scared of something and broke it off with me and told her boyfriend. They decided to stay together and everything was great for a couple of months. But then she figured out she couldn't be without me and came back and asked me for forgiveness and broke it off with her boyfriend and wanted a relationship with me. We were completely in love everything I could wish came true but again she got scared and dumped me and ran back to her boyfriend.
We broke up really badly because she really hurt me and in revenge I wanted to do the same back to her we got into a huge fight and didn't see each other for three months. Even though I missed her and once tried to talk to her we kept our distance. Now she showed up back at the activity where we meat. The thing is we had another huge fight because I was hoping she was keeping her distance. She told me she doesn't give a crap about me anymore even though she said a couple of months ago I was the most important person in her life. She said she's not going to stay away anymore. The thing is that means I have to stay away and this means something that has helped me trough a lot of tough times and I won't be able to do it anymore because she's there and I can't take it.
What can I do? How can I handle it? If I stay home it's going to depress me even more.
Thank you for your help.


Most Helpful Girl

  • In all honesty it's not even worth giving up something you obviously enjoy. She's one of probably many people who might really hurt your feelings but to revolve the situation around her your subconsciously giving her more control over you and you may not realize that when your around her. From your story it seems like she knows that you really cared for her which for some people they get off on that. To be honest with you it doesn't even sound like she ever cared for you or her boyfriend. The fact that she was willing to cheat instead of just breaking up with her boyfriend shows that she's not trustworthy and really just a waste of time and energy. It's easier said than done but you really need to look at those memories as they were, as false. The more time you allow her presence to hurt you the longer it will take to just move on. Again that's not worth it either.

    • I know it's not worth giving up that's why it's so hard. Because it's something that has been a big and important part of my life for a really long time and it's one of the things that's helped me really a lot in many tough moments. But she was important to me too. I've never fallen in love with a girl like this before and it never felt like one had fallen for me like she did. That's why I can't understand why she'd want to hurt me.
      I'd like to be strong and not bother when I see her but I still am and I don't know how to deal with it without being sad and angry and depressed and everything that comes along.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a girl do the exact same to me. Easier said then done, but forget her! She's not worth your time, worry, aggravation, etc. I know it's sounds cliché, but there are plenty of other women out there, ten times better than she is! But you need to stop dwelling on her to allow someone great to enter your life. And what is this activity you go to that she also attends? The gym? Guess what? F*ck her! Keep yourself in shape, ignore the crap outta her... And if she tries to come back to you, disregard her completely. Don't give her any other chances! She doesn't deserve you!

    • Thanks and I agree with you. I don't even care about her. I mean I care but I just want to forget about all the crap. No it's not the gym. For the last 7 years I've been helping with a dance school and we've been building the whole dance scene and it has more than consumed my whole life. This is where we meat and now she decided to come back dancing. The problem is I literally have nothing else in my life because it took 7 days a week doing something I love. That's why I'm so angry with her because she told me to keep away from her so that's what I was doing but she was the one who came back. I don't even know how her bf let's her come back to the place she found the guy with whom she cheated and why she'd want to hurt me when I never wanted to do anything bad to her.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Move on and live your life, if she ever comes back then show her the middle finger.

    • The problem is what I do makes me have to hang out in the same places. I don't even care about her coming back I just don't want to keep hurting. I can either throw away 7 years of my life and I don't know how much time invested in what I've been doing or stay and have to see here every time she decides to show up and feel like crap.

  • "Oh look a fiddle... Oh wait its just backspace" so she played you, just get over her and move on, there plenty of women who are better than her.

    • Yes there are I agree and I don't want her back. I just want her out of my life.

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